Help! I'm fantasizing about intimacy

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by parad0x, May 31, 2019.

  1. parad0x

    parad0x Fapstronaut

    177
    286
    63
    I'm pretty early into my first reboot.

    Very quickly my history is:

    a promiscuous young guy (with girls)
    28ish got really into porn (still getting girls)
    31 - 36 (my current age): Porn escalated to hookers & shemale porn.

    I'm not really feeling any urges to PMO, I feel quite scarred by the realization of the last 8 years and my behavior which is probably helping keep urges at bay.

    BUT... Today I started fantasizing/reminiscing about female intimacy, their touch, smell and how much I missed it. My heart even started to flutter a bit. It was quite a pleasant sensation.

    I know it's early. But Is this a good sign of the start of recovery?
     
    llortaton likes this.
  2. Fuséé

    Fuséé Fapstronaut

    31
    17
    8
    Hello everybody,

    Introduction
    I am a student of 23 years, I developed a hocd , before that i was really happy in my life; know i don't know who i'am and i don't like life.

    Porn problem
    I used to eat a lot of porn, i started at the age of 13 when a friend show me some porn videos, at my 20yo i started to go into more and more hard porn, until the day i fell into shemale porn and it excited me i do not know why while before it was disgusting me,
    Yesterday i watch porn zoophile with a man fucking a mare and it excited me and i'am shame of this, am I excited by animals ? I'd like to know who i'am because i do not know who i'am anymore, before this i was a really normal guys who is enjoying life, now i'am anxious and don't trust myself, i even think to commit suicide because i can not do anymore why all this shit excites me.
    And the biggest problem is that i can't forgot this all the day i think about this why i was excited and it puts all my life in question,
    I would have dreamed ofnever having seen that and being the boy I was
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2020
    llortaton likes this.
  3. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

    892
    1,414
    123
    Breathe, man. Suicide is never the answer. I believe the reason you're now watching animal porn is because the other shit failed to excite you anymore. That's what happens in this addiction; we start looking at harder and raunchier shit. And that's what it all is: SHIT. It's all fucking garbage and we need to stop looking at it. Do a complete reboot. Let your brain normalize again. The urge to watch that garbage will subside. Stay the path, my brother! Trust the process!!!
     
    Freeddom_Taker and Fuséé like this.
  4. Fuséé

    Fuséé Fapstronaut

    31
    17
    8
    Thank You a lot Tonytone, I want to stop all this Shit who destroys my life i was really good and porn destroy me i wish i had never see this, i want to stop watching to reboot my brain to normal things like i was, Take care of you and thank you very much
     
    Tonytone likes this.
  5. parad0x

    parad0x Fapstronaut

    177
    286
    63
    Thank you for derailing my thread lol. In future perhaps consider starting your own.
     
    ArisePrime, Tonytone and FX-05 like this.
  6. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Well we don't have to judge it as good or bad, it's obviously natural though for any hetero guy. It's fairly early in the journey I'd say and it's not like we have an exact science where you can get a panel of bloodwork or an fMRI scan where we can figure out where exactly you're at. And of course what you described isn't sex or anything conditioned by porn, it's related to actual physical stimuli.
     
    parad0x likes this.
  7. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

    892
    1,414
    123
    I'm here for you, brother. We're ALL here for you. Stay with us, my friend; there's a beautiful world out there to enjoy.
     
    Fuséé likes this.
  8. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

    892
    1,414
    123
    Didn't mean to derail anything, brother, but when people start mentioning suicide, it's never a good thing. As far as your post, I find absolutely nothing wrong with fantasizing about intimacy. I'd actually argue that it's a good thing, and beneficial to a successful reboot.
     
    Fuséé likes this.

Share This Page