Help, I'm in desparate need. I'm so lost.

I am sorry for all this mate! I know it is tough. Maybe you can do something about it by setting a strategy + daily routine that is covered by a restrictions. Study yourself, what made you relapse ? what are the thoughts that trigger you ? and then set scenarios and rules to avoid these triggering moments. Also as long you are married, I think it will be helpful if your wife support you with such strategies, if she does, so trust her and share her everything you feel and she can suggest you and be a part in controlling you over triggers. Don't give up mate, it might take time but be sure that progress is always possible.

 

Heyo my friend, I'm sorry to hear that you're hurting, but the good news is you've got a couple factors here working in your favor: 1) You have no qualms about the fact that you're an addict. If you ever have any doubt, you can just come back on here and reread this first post. Admitting to the problem is the first step in recovery, and you're clearly there. Most addicts don't make it that far. You're ahead of the game. 2) You're on here reaching out for help. There's a tremendous amount of love, support, and recovery on these forums, and it's all freely available to you. All you have to do is reach out and ask, which is exactly what you're doing. Looks to me like you're off to a good start.

My recommendation would be get really involved in the community here. Start a journal if you haven't already, and post in it daily. Also, reach out to other folks who are struggling and offer them your support and encouragement. Read the journals of folks with more time and see what they're doing to stay abstinent. The bottom line is we're all in this together, man. None of us can do it on our own. The more you can get involved, the better you're gonna fair. Place yourself in the center of the pack, do the things that the people with time are doing, and you will find abstinence. I guarantee it. Anyway, hit me up if you wanna talk more. All the best, man.

 

daily routing will help you a lot. plus you have to put things you like and make you happy on a daily basis too.
reward yourself as much as you can when you pass a day without pmo.

 

What about engaging with your wife everyday? And every moment your cravings for a P are unbearable. She should be ok with it, better to do it with her, than without her, right? Tell her you want to overcome this problem finally, and that you will need her help to do so.

In your head, she must be your ONLY source of a sexual pleasure. Than get used to it.

 

That is absolutely no excuse to abuse her sexually.

 

Abuse? Elaborate on how having consensual sex with your wife is a abuse. Take your time

 

Hope is so invaluable. Hold onto hope, man. Whatever you do, hold onto hope. And stay connected.

 

Is there any possibility of obtaining a different job to where you would not need to be separated from your wife and family?

 

Let me tell you my trick . I got through six months challenge with it . Im a muslim so i started praying 5 times daily and i 5 times i prayed to God to help me absain from PMO . I ate alot of walnuts and libido increasing food . Relaxed and then waited for the craving . My trick was to channel all of my thoughts at the time when i have the craving . Before craving i didnt think about PMO and all i just ignored it . When the craving comes up this is the time when i think "now i have a choice i can not masturbate if i want " . But why would i not masturbate ? The answer was "masturbation is the 1st step towards a man,s downfall , it destroys me ,it robs me off my manliness,i will compromise on anything, literally anything , but not on masturbation" . And then at the right moment channeling all your power will help u not do it . The reason i ate all the libido increasing food was to strengthen me . With high libido the craving is strong and rejecting the strong craving makes u strong . The trick is simple , stay clean and relax . Channel all ur power to the right moment (the moment of craving , the moment when u have a choice to make)

 

You are looking to outsource by asking for 'guidance'. It is your responsibility to yourself and your family to cease your behaviour. You have children. Humans are habit-forming creatures, so form new habits. Accept that the desires will be there and then get used to doing good stuff instead. Zero pornography, masturbation and fantasies, and fill the time with better habits. YOU can do this because YOU need to. Good luck, friend..

 

You got this! Just continue to read through the forums and you will become more motivated. There is a lot of good information and support here.

 

Just dont give up . Choose at the right moment

 

I have to respectfully disagree. We're social beings. We need each other, and we need support, encouragement, and the accumulated know-how of the folks that've walked the path before us.

 

I would question whether you are really satisfied with your wife in bed and whether you really love her....Think of your dream celebrity girl you want to have sex with, and ask yourself, if I had her, would my eyes wonder elsewhere...I no mine wouldn't.

 

I meant individual responsibility as opposed to hoping that a supernatural entity will do the work..