Help me I am very near to end my whole life.

[ARCEUS]

Broke the 18 days streak today In need of a guide, and done it 2 times today, but it was started when I got into a triggering position during night, and was struggling with the urge since morning, and after 14 hours, done it 2 times at same time, really I think god is controlling me cuz since 4 to 5 times only due to unavoidable triggers during sleep only I am doing it, not doing purely due to urge I created myself, really fed up, wanna end my whole life and become happy by escaping all this struggles. FOr info, during this 18 days, not even seen any movies, or any images, I was on hardcore

 

[desmond3]

First of all, you are doing really well for going 18 days hardcore. It is not that easy.

However, realize that even if you don't watch anything. Triggers could be everywhere. In particular, negative emotions and boredom are the common ones. Even if you don't encounter any of them, urges can also pop up without any reason (due to old mental habit). Therefore, it is important to get yourself prepared right before the urges hit.

The first thing you may want to do is to build up a system to tackle with your urges. This is never easy, and it requires some practice (I am not doing well, but I believe practicing would help me to improve). We need to make it a habit to redirect the focus when urges come. It is very common for us wanting to fight our urges, trying to stop them or so, but by focusing on them, they often grow in power (i.e. more strong urges). The best way to do it is to ignore them, not to follow them, and focus on something else. Some people may focus on a "motto" (some "magical words"), or what to do when they are bored / feeling down. By focusing on something else, the urges will come and go naturally. Alternatively, you may also want to try observing the urges in the third person (just stare at them without commenting), and detach from them.

Don't lose hope, it will be worth it. Good luck!

 

[Deleted Account]

+ what one resists will persist. You are still human and you have natural urges. Once you begin to reach 2+ week streaks you will need to periodically transform that sexual energy into creative energy, or burn it with intense exercise. If you do not, you will find an imbalance in your system and your urges will become almost impossible to resist, or you will have a wet dream. You’re doing great remember to be kind to yourself and reflect on all your success not just your failure.

 

[ARCEUS]

First of all, you are doing really well for going 18 days hardcore. It is not that easy.

However, realize that even if you don't watch anything. Triggers could be everywhere. In particular, negative emotions and boredom are the common ones. Even if you don't encounter any of them, urges can also pop up without any reason (due to old mental habit). Therefore, it is important to get yourself prepared right before the urges hit.

The first thing you may want to do is to build up a system to tackle with your urges. This is never easy, and it requires some practice (I am not doing well, but I believe practicing would help me to improve). We need to make it a habit to redirect the focus when urges come. It is very common for us wanting to fight our urges, trying to stop them or so, but by focusing on them, they often grow in power (i.e. more strong urges). The best way to do it is to ignore them, not to follow them, and focus on something else. Some people may focus on a "motto" (some "magical words"), or what to do when they are bored / feeling down. By focusing on something else, the urges will come and go naturally. Alternatively, you may also want to try observing the urges in the third person (just stare at them without commenting), and detach from them.

Don't lose hope, it will be worth it. Good luck!

Thank you for appreciating me! Now I will continue my struggle with new acts learned

 

[ARCEUS]

+ what one resists will persist. You are still human and you have natural urges. Once you begin to reach 2+ week streaks you will need to periodically transform that sexual energy into creative energy, or burn it with intense exercise. If you do not, you will find an imbalance in your system and you’re urges will become almost impossible to resist or you will have a wet dream. You’re doing great remember to be kind to yourself and reflect on all your success not just your failure.

You are like, like a Astrologer brother! The thing you said I think it was the direct reason my unreasonable urges are coming from, as a student, I seat on a chair 17 hours a day and sleep the rest, I am not excersizing at all, now I think that's the reason. From now on, I will increase my power in fighting food addiction(I am moderately obese) and will exercise as well as meditate 10 minutes a day regularly, this time no one will be able to beat me!

Actually, when I was 14 years old, I fought with the same thing, and got victory with 1year of streak, if I could do then, than definitely I will do now!!!

 

[ARCEUS]

I am literally beating up myself frequently, like biting my skin and punching, and also crying, when will I get freedom

 

[desmond3]

I am literally beating up myself frequently, like biting my skin and punching, and also crying, when will I get freedom

You will find freedom when you realize you are already free. The mentality of thinking that you need to find this freedom "someday", would make you never being able to find it, because you believe that your freedom only exists in the future.

 

[MrPriest]

Is not when we succeed that we show proof of strenght, is when we don't but we try again.

You will find freedom when you realize you are already free. The mentality of thinking that you need to find this freedom "someday", would make you never being able to find it, because you believe that your freedom only exists in the future.

Absolutely spot on.

 

[ARCEUS]

You will find freedom when you realize you are already free. The mentality of thinking that you need to find this freedom "someday", would make you never being able to find it, because you believe that your freedom only exists in the future.

Your journal really hit me hard, you won't believe I cried for like 20 minutes after seeing how your life got ruined. If I say truth, I am also a mentally gifted person who top in 11th grade with only 1 week of study of whole year syllabus, you literally gave me a concrete reason that now if I not stop, like what you said in your journal about yourself, my life will also get destroyed. Currently I am in the most important stage of life that is preparing for competitive exam, I am in 12th grade and got to give that exam in less than 5 months, now I will have to stop, or my life will too get destroyed. I will pray for you too, friend.

 

[desmond3]

Your journal really hit me hard, you won't believe I cried for like 20 minutes after seeing how your life got ruined. If I say truth, I am also a mentally gifted person who top in 11th grade with only 1 week of study of whole year syllabus, you literally gave me a concrete reason that now if I not stop, like what you said in your journal about yourself, my life will also get destroyed. Currently I am in the most important stage of life that is preparing for competitive exam, I am in 12th grade and got to give that exam in less than 5 months, now I will have to stop, or my life will too get destroyed. I will pray for you too, friend.

I am glad that you find my journal useful. Please don't give up on yourself!