Help me out of this evil!

Hi all,

I do not even know how to overcome my repeated urges, the day before I promised not to PMO again, but it seems really hard to me. Well, you can see me advising others to be faithful, strong and keep their way etc. But it all seems superficial confidence, I have a bigger problem inside that gives me no way to be able to see the whole picture. I feel debilitated without PMO and feel a stronge urge to binge but after indulging in those videos meaninglessly for hours I am having a deep physchosis that I am being not even able to think clearly what to do next.

As I have just graduated from the college I am home all the daytime and nightime so I think I am gonna keep this till find a job but I am not determined at all. It seems like I have lost all of my emergency to reach my goals. Feel nothing to go any forward. Netiher anything is fueling me nor I am endeavoring for it. Just stucked at nothingness. Feel nihilistic. The moment comes my hope rises at a level that nothing is able to restrain my power, moment comes I feel devastated with everything. I am obsessively thinking everything around me for hours without any sign movement of my body, I t appears that I am sitting on the couch, yes physically right, but My soul leaves me thinking for hours. And this state of mind is no noubt to haunt me in every probable moment of my day. You know what I am telling you? Yes probably. And do not let me alone guys. Need help here. Desperately

 

Thank you for reading my post and supporting me, sometimes I do think that The god is the only one to help me here with this case. It does not matter whether you are christian or I am Muslim but we need god in any case. But you know, sometimes nothing changes even if how instensely I put on a faithful manner towards god, it feels more desperate and shameful after praying but nothing reached and back into that obsession.

And it feels comfortable that you feel me, I needed this.

 

Thank you for writing me a long view of yours.

I do not know whether it is pornography causing this depression or my isolation leads to pornography addiction. But I am sure that there is something inside pushes me back from everything that I am willing to do. I have so-called anxiety that appears when I am in public even if I am sure that I am good-looking in appearance, affectionate in my relations with others. Things get worser whenever I idle around in the public. My mood changes sharphly and I am not being even able to have a chat with others I could come across.

To be honest, I suffered from my relations with others too much, While I need to be accountable for my stuff, my friends like meeting them when they wanna meet me , have fun with them, instead, I choose to be indulging in pornography for hours. This state not only prevents me from being social but also prevents me dealing with my own responsibilities. And that sucks.

I do not have a good nutrition, I lost my appetite for the foods I love. The result is, losing weight. It affects me physically. Do not know what to do, How to overcome these spiral downs.

 

Thank you for sharing me from your holy book, I will try to be stronger and I know that god observes me and knows me better than I know myself.

 

Well I think that most of my problems derive from Pornography. And people do understand me here. Thank you for your suggestion

 

Yes,

Thank you for writing me such a long supportive view,

And I do agree with you that a baby step put into action can solve so much things. After considering your opinions I come to a conclusion that I am just stucked at the point where things repeat themselves constantly. As for your suggestions, I think meditation is helpful when there are so much things in your head which will give way to an obvious relapse, this phenomenon I mean meditation is similar to salah in muslimism that gives you the oppurtunity to get away from the negativity that your thoughts impose you.

I believe that about 80 percent of my vulnerabilities are going to disappear when I achieve to let pornography out my life. Because I firmly agreed that my sexual identity has already been degenerated by using porn on a regular and excessive basis to ease my anxiety and pains over ten years. You know what I am talking about, my taste for pornography has escalated on the categories I have been indulging in. That is enough to detect the situation whether pornography causes these mental disorders or not.

 

Brother, thank you for rooting for me here.

And I want to tell you that I am not kinda person that who is lazy to do things. I do have so many passions in life like playing instruments, learning language, doing sports but the case is, I am discouraged by the evil of pornography and I cannot meet my potential here. You know porn leaves you incomplete inside with so much pain.

I do know that It will also lead to sexual problems, maybe it already did it as I have never indulged in a sexual experience, but that is not the issue now, A porn addict, such as yourself, will understand what I am trying to give out by explaining this mental state. But maybe you are right that I have not found my ultimate passion to engage in with all high spirits. I have already started to schedule things for my life.

Firstly, I believe that we have to regain our self esteem, self confidence here which will require a self-critism that will enable us to see what happens inside. Pornography is mostly bigger than the problem it creates. I mean the root of the problem is always the case here. Maybe we have to forget all about our defeats and concenrate on the reasons for relapses here. From my experiences, blaming has never worked here. Being solution oriented is much more improtant than anything here. Because possibility of a failure is always there and I have stand up again.

yes, you are right coming with the reasoning that maybe our problem is just talking about it but never really targetting for a quit sincerely. Action talks louder than the words. This is the truth. And I will take it serious this time. Whatever may come I am gonna stick to this with planned actions in case of a urge which very possible in every probable moment.

 

Well I do not believe that Psychiastrists will solve this, Because I tried it but She just prescribed a antidepressant which has not faded my problems away at all. You know it just escalated, sometimes I do firmly believe that these medicines poisons the bodies and leave more negative effects than its benefits. I do not know how they can be a solution to this? Thank you for your wish.

 

What kind of redical decisions are you talking about?