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Help me shape my NoFap strategy

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by GoAway, Nov 19, 2015.

  1. GoAway

    GoAway Fapstronaut

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    My background story
    I'm a guy from Denmark who is 18 (soon 19) years old and I have been masturbating since the age of 12 or 13. Right now I'm attending high school, which means I'm spending a lot of time in front of my PC, when I do my assignments and homework. I get distracted very easily and I waste a lot of time on surfing random internet pages (not porn) when I am supposed to do my homework or an assignment. I don't really the things I do online entertaining, I only do it to procrastinate the things I need to do. I often tend to relapse when I get bored by these internet pages and my willpower isn't strong enough to continue my studies instead. I don't really have any hobbies besides hitting the gym once in a while, which isn't more than two times a week and often less. I find it hard to manage my time and I always feel that I'm behind with my assignments and that I always finish them in the last moment. I would like to be able to start do my assignments long before they need to be finished, but I always end up procrastinating by surfing the web.
    I discovered this forum about a year and a half ago, but haven't been able to get even a reasonable streak so far, with my best streak being 15 days in a row of no porn, no masturbation and no orgasms. I tell myself that I want to change, but I haven't been able to make this mindset change yet. I am currently in bad circle of 2 to 3 successful days before relapse followed by another 2 to 3 successful days before i relapse again. I want to break this circle and get on a long streak of over at least 30 days.

    My planned lifestyle changes and actions that will make me succeed in NoFap
    I will install porn blocking software on my PC
    I have already k9 web filter installed on my PC, which I find to be very effective. I don't think there is any way around this program and it has prevented my from watching porn on my PC many times. In fact, I haven't watched porn on my PC for 3 to 4 months I think. It is always on another device that I watch porn, often my phone, which leads me to the next action I want to take.

    I will acquire a phone without internet connectivity
    I very often end up relapsing by watching porn on my phone or my mother's tablet. I have thought about asking my mother if she could change the password on her iPad to something I don't know, so that I can't use the iPad when I'm home alone, but I haven't yet. Regarding my own phone, I have tried almost everything to prevent myself from watching porn, but always end up finding a way around my security. That is why I want to swap my current phone out with a phone without internet connectivity, so that I cannot access porn on it. The only down side by this is that I will no longer be able to use Facebook messenger to chat with my friends. I already miss out on a lot because I have blocked Facebook on my PC and haven't downloaded the Facebook application on my phone, so Facebook messenger is the only way I can keep myself up to date with what is going down after school. If i'm not on Facebook messenger I will not know if there is a party or if my friends is going to the club in the evening, which is one of my concerns about doing this. I can't unblock Facebook on my PC, because the girls from my school often post a lot of tempting pictures that I would like to avoid. I would like to be able to watch my Facebook chat but nothing else on my phone! Any suggestions on how to do that?

    I will stop spending time on social networks such as Facebook
    As mentioned before, I often find a lot of tempting pictures in my Facebook news feed that I would like to avoid. A single picture can start a domino effect that eventually makes me relapse and I haven't found a way to stop the domino effect, so I will just have to remove the tempting pictures all along. If I find an arousing picture I often end up looking at the person's other pictures or other peoples' pictures, which eventually leads to porn. It's not really a problem if I encounter arousing material and I can't browse other arousing material e.g. I watch an arousing scene in a movie. I can handle that. But if I can find other pictures, like there is on Facebook I can't control myself and end up relapsing. Another reason I will stop spending time on Facebook is because it is a waste of time. I often find my self scrolling through my news feed several times, watching the same posts over and over again. And the posts aren't even something I care about. It's often just some lousy supposed to be funny video, that really isn't that funny. So no Facebook equals fewer triggers and less wasted time being unproductive.

    I will take my journal here on NoFap seriously and make a post every single day
    I haven't really been taking my journal here on NoFap seriously. There is always something that prevents me from posting and breaking my consistency. Often it is just something like "Oh, I don't know what to write, so I will skip it today and write something tomorrow instead". I shouldn't do this, because it is the exact same thoughts I get the next day and the day after that, which means I will never post in my journal. I need to make posting something in my journal a part of my daily routine and a new habit and if I skip one day, I need to get back on the horse as quick as possible. If I do this I will have a better time analyzing my relapses, getting to know myself better and talking about how my life is going, so I can find the things I need to work on.

    I will spend half an hour every day reading a book
    If I do this, I can really read up on a lot of the science behind this addiction, which hopefully will help me beat it. I can also read books on lifestyle change, meditation and the science behind habits, for at better understanding of what I need to do in order to beat this horrible addiction. Reading books also helps me fall asleep. If I read right before I go to bed, I will have an easier time falling asleep, because I'm not looking at blue light that keeps us awake. This blue light is emitted from PC screens and I often have a hard time falling a sleep after I have spend the whole evening in front of the PC. Laying there in my bed without sleeping can often make me crave masturbation because it makes me tired.

    I will improve my sleeping schedule
    Another way I want to improve my sleep is by going to bed earlier and at approximately the same time every day. When we go to bed at a specific time every day our brains adapt and automatically makes us more tired whenever we go to bed, because it knows it is time sleep. Therefore going to bed at the same time every day will also help me falling asleep. Secondly, I often relapse in the evening/night. So if I go to bed early and regularly it will also decrease the chances of me relapsing and the extra sleep will make my brain sharper and I will be stronger when I have to fight urges.

    I will start going to the gym more frequently
    There are several obvious positive effects of this. First of all I will get in better shape and be stronger, which will make me more attractive and increase my self-esteem. The workout will also make my body tired, which decreases the strength of the urges that I get. When I go to the gym I spend less time at home in front of the PC, which lowers the chances of a relapse. It will be a good activity to do when there is nobody else than me home, so that I spend my home alone time at the gym instead of at home.

    I will spend more time on my studies
    I really need to focus more on my studies. My grades aren't as good as they used to be, because I haven't really had the energy and willpower to focus on it for the last couple of months. If I decrease the time wasted on surfing the internet I could use some of that time on my studies. I'm on my last year of high school before university, so my grades need to be good now, so I can read the subject that I want, when I finish high school this summer. If I spend my time studying hard, maybe I will forget about the urges that I have.

    What my weaknesses are
    When I get urges to watch porn I am extremely bad at dealing with them. I can often go for 2 to 3 days ignoring the urges but then suddenly I can't the urge out of my head. I start watching pictures of girls justifying with some bad excuse and after a short period of time I watch porn and masturbate. I don't know how to stop myself when I start watching the pictures. I always try, but fail. Even with porn blocking software, which I always find a way around. That is why I focus on not getting to point where i watch pictures of girls, but it would be nice if I could find a method to control myself in the moment when it happens. Any suggestions on how I can learn to control myself will be much appreciated.

    Suggestions for things to add or changes to this list is much appreciated.
     

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