Help....me...

[s4nh44]

You know this topic. Its like every other on here...
I've been doing this since I was 16 and nothing I do can help me stop blah blah blah...

Luckily I'm a pretty happy person. Although i can get depressed when I do it too much.
I lead a normal life, but I am not married yet and I think its because I'm slightly addicted to porn. Slightly means once week or sometimes twice. But the things i watch have gotten worse over the years. Things I don't want to see or do. Porn should be illegal.

The reason that brought me here was that i watched porn 3 times in the passed week or so. And I looked at...some gay porn. Another issue to add to my life. I normally would never ever post that info, but im sorta just drunkinly letting it all out here. Basically I watch anything rough and raw. The rougher the better apparently.
Afterwards I'm sick to my stomach.

It used to be a bit worse till I got it under control a little with filters and stuff.
Unfortunately I am a developer and can get passed the filters when I want to.

So now I have covenant eyes, but that only really works on the computer, not the phone. And theres my xbox which has a browser... When there is a will theres a way... And that will is very strong.


I've tried metascripting, posting on this forum (that didn't last long), I have tried an accountability partner (who seems to have vanished). I actually once made it to day 80 years ago.

Lately i am trying out consequences. I tried ripping up a dollar each time I did it.... I ripped up $50 before realizing this is not working.... And it's stupid.

What could be a good consequence that would make me stop?
Also I see all this support group stuff here now. Are any of them free? I've already spent enough money on therapists and books and more.

Sorry I sound a little sarcastic... I've been doing this too long I think I have written posts just like this one before... years ago. So... I guess not much has changed for me
Please Help.

 

[The Pennsylvanian]

You must completely give up access to the internet. I have only got access to this website as it is on a list of allowed websites on my iphone. My wife has the passcode. She had it when we were dating too. Its been the best tool. Once that end is held down you must focus on a daily anti PMO routine which includes healthy coping mechanisms for stress. And you must not be emotional about resets and relapses as they are only data for you to learn from

 

[fred199405]

Feel your pain mate. What has worked for me is 12 step recovery. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) is great. and free! SAA or SA also good. People are suited to different ones. They're kind of like Alcoholics Anonymous but focused on sex or relationships rather than alcohol. Google them if you think they might be for you, online meetings all day to check out.

Feel free to message if you want more info.

 

[TheReddestFlare]

And I looked at...some gay porn

I regrettably have as well. Why do you think there's been a sudden rise in homosexuality and transgenderism. Porn is doing this to our minds. Constant use of porn causes you to become desensitized to whatever you currently like and creates a need for more extreme material and this repeats again and again.

As for quitting, try to avoid getting bored. Get yourself as busy as you can, this is what's helped me.

 

[Hakaishin]

From what I have read in Self-Help books so far the:
1.To fight an addiction/Bad habit {here PMO} you must replace it with a keystone habit like
a.Exercise b.Meditation c.Reading
2. It's not enough to do only step 1. The real Magic lies here....You must completely change your identity away from that particular thing. It's not enough to not masturbate...It's about being whatever great thing that you want to do...instead of being a NOFAPPER be an avid reader, be a fitness hunk, be a polyglot...anything which contributes to your life... make it your interest...slowly a good habit will grow which will leave this habit of PMO beneath various layers and It will never trouble you again.

This identity change is completely necessary...it brings a change within you from the inside to get rid of a particular addiction and exterminates it from the root.

 

[s4nh44]

You must completely give up access to the internet. I have only got access to this website as it is on a list of allowed websites on my iphone. My wife has the passcode. She had it when we were dating too. Its been the best tool. Once that end is held down you must focus on a daily anti PMO routine which includes healthy coping mechanisms for stress. And you must not be emotional about resets and relapses as they are only data for you to learn from

Unfortunately I make websites for a living. I need internet. I also don't have a wife. If i did I probably would not have been able to watch porn on my xbox last night.
My iPhone is pretty locked down. I also have covenant eyes on my computer. It's my xbox that is an issue. It doesnt have very good filtering methods or they are really easy to hack. I tried setting them up but its so easy to leave the family group and no longer have restrictions. It's stupid.

Thats why my focus is on finding a consequence that would deter me.

...Get yourself as busy as you can, this is what's helped me.

I'm not bored! I have so many things to do! I workout. I have some unfinished projects... I just get horny sometimes and need a change.

Feel your pain mate. What has worked for me is 12 step recovery. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) is great. and free! SAA or SA also good. People are suited to different ones. They're kind of like Alcoholics Anonymous but focused on sex or relationships rather than alcohol. Google them if you think they might be for you, online meetings all day to check out.

Feel free to message if you want more info.

Where and how can i join one of these virtual groups? I'm a little nervous.
I've heard of the 12 steps. Honestly I started reading it once and was like "duh...". the ideas being expressed seemed like a no brainer. Admitting your powerless with this issue. Ok. Believe in higher power. Check...

However talking with a support group does sound like a smart way top constantly remind me to keep on top of myself. Do people on here form groups ever? I would want a group focused on porn and not just any addiction

 

[fred199405]

Where and how can i join one of these virtual groups? I'm a little nervous.
I've heard of the 12 steps. Honestly I started reading it once and was like "duh...". the ideas being expressed seemed like a no brainer. Admitting your powerless with this issue. Ok. Believe in higher power. Check...

However talking with a support group does sound like a smart way top constantly remind me to keep on top of myself. Do people on here form groups ever? I would want a group focused on porn and not just any addiction

You can find them online. Google SLAA meetings, find one and attend a meeting! (i suggest trying slaa or saa and seeing which you feel more at home at) Simple. Usually they are on zoom at the moment because of covid. And being nervous is OK. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to for your first few meetings (or ever, sharing in meetings is only a suggestion as is all the other aspects, but it works if you work it), you can just listen.

And yes exactly, another key part, along with higher power and accepting powerlessness, is being part of the group and helping others (hence why I'm sharing this, although its good to help its also a bit selfish for me to stay clean, passing on the message is key!! ).

Feel free to message me if you are interested and I can send you literature about the programme.

 

[GreenToxic]

I regrettably have as well. Why do you think there's been a sudden rise in homosexuality and transgenderism. Porn is doing this to our minds.

Bruh, yeah I know that porn can do some crazy stuff to our minds but to say that the majority of people who are gay/transgender is because of that? Uh, no.

 

[GreenToxic]

Well, just because some men like other men and some women like other women in the same way that heterosexual men and women like each other, doesn't mean that you have to discriminate them. People who are LGBT were born that way, and calling them those words is like being racist: they can't change who they are. Similarly, those whose minds have been corrupted by porn for them to think that they're gay or trans when they're really not, just need some help and compassion to get them back on track. That's why we're here, right? To get our sexuality back to normal in a safe place? Being mean won't solve anything here. We're all humans and we all deserve love, respect, and to have the best life possible, no matter where we come from.