Help needed with unhealthy obsession over certain type of women excessive mastrubation and desensitization. ( Please don’t ignore )

[TopG-91]

THIS GONNA BE A VERY LONG MESSAGE SO PLEASE DON’T IGNORE I NEED HELP.

I been struggling with a unhealthy obsession over a certain type of women i’m attracted to which leads to a unhealthy amount of mastrubation
And been experiencing alot of desensitization lately and it keeps getting worse.

will start with few years ago

With kind of a background story so y’all can understand it better.

I always been watching porn and mastrubation since i was a little teenager.
But it wasn’t terrible or problematic yet

Only my confidence and social skills kinda suffered and might be a reason why i don’t really have any success with girls.

It was still a daily habit but not that bad yet
Mostly just once a day and that’s it.

Few years ago i attempted to do nofap which went pretty well did it for 8 months
That being said i did have a couple relapses here and there.
In the span of 8 months i had 3 relapses
During the 8 month period of NoFap i was doing great
I felt great i felt more confident i was actual being social and i was actually talking to some girls approaching girls and asking girls out.
And even went on few dates ( with the same girl ) But sadly nothing really came out of it.
And also got pretty serious with the gym as well.
But afterwards i started becoming sloppy with it but still tried to pick myself up.

But then i discovered a new attraction or fetish ( idk ) about myself.
Because i was into the gym i already liked fit girls / girls with abbs and big legs & girls who are more muscular then the average girl.
But then i suddenly i started liking muscular / jacked women and female bodybuilders
The “ Muscle mommy “ trend also just started getting popular.
+ i started training in a gym where jacked women where training
So found out i’m attracted to muscular women and female bodybuilders lol.
And here is where it started to get bad and basically where my downfall started
I gave up completely on nofap.
And i got into a whole rabbit hole of muscular women and female bodybuilders.
I started following alot of Female Muscular Fitness Influencers and Female Bodybuilders on instagram and tiktok
And my mastrubating habbits got worse then before
I starting mastrubating alot like multiple times a day.
But didin’t watch alot of porn
mainly pictures/videos of muscular women
I started becoming obsessed with Muscular girls.
porn was just here and there when i wanted a change and wanted to see some “ regular “ girls instead of muscular.
Over time you could say the obsession with muscle girls was going to not such a healthy direction
Also the girls where getting more muscular over time.
I couldn’t quit mastrubating and it kept getting worse
At the same time i was also turning into a sexual creep lusting over almost every girl
( not just muscular girls but all girls )
I still wasn’t desentized yet at this point
I did still like regular girls mainly cute brunette or blonde girls with curves
And ofc the muscular girls .

At this point i was 1,5 years in and i still liked regular girls but my attraction went more and more towards muscular girls.
The attraction for muscular girls it’s difficult to explain but it’s just so strong and powerful. The urges for muscular girls are stronger then anything i ever experienced.
Like i’m instanty turned on.
And the attraction for regular girls slowly started fading to the side but i still liked them.
Also i was watching less porn which might is
a good thing
But mastrubating to pictures or videos of muscular women instead.
which are still pixels….

2 years into it i started finding the attraction a bit weird and actually tried to beat it and only like “ regular girls “ again like i used to.


Since early this year i tried multiple attempts beating this attraction unfollowing all the muscular female influencers and female bodybuilders on social media.
Resetting my insta and tiktok feed.
And mastrubating on regular girls again
Which mostly meant watching more porn. Which actually is counter productive
It doesn’t fix the root of the problem mastrubation
But i failed everytime
The attraction comes back everytime
All it took was seeing 1 muscular girl whether that was in the gym or on social media
And i was obsessed again
And in no time started following all the muscle girls on social media again.
So basically went through periods of liking regular girls followed by a cycle of obsession for muscular girls and cycle kept repeating itself.


Few months ago like 5 months ago i started noticing desensitization basically because of all the muscular girls it seems like i got desensitized to regular girls
Before i always used to like cute curvy girls
But now it seems i’m just less interested in them if they’re not muscular.
I’m still attracted to them
But it just feels different like i have less interest in them.
I know it’s not a good thing to follow all those insta models
But when i see those girls on instagram what used to be my type before the muscle attraction.
Now i’m just like ehh whatever and continue scrolling it barely does anything to me.
But when a female bodybuilder pops up on my feed i go all crazy and get turned on immediately.
In real life i still feel attracted to them and still check them out if they look nice.
But still it feels way intense then before.
Like it feels like i’m desentized and prefer looking at a muscular woman.
That being said i def feel way more attraction to women i see on real life or even on tv vs women i see on my insta feed.
1 of the reason i also keep going back to the muscular women is also bc it’s easier.
It makes me feel more then regular girls if that makes sense.
And it’s easier to mastrubate to
Muscular women never fail to turn me on.
While for regular girls i’m kinda desensitized to them a bit.
But i’m still attracted to regular girls it didin’t fully fade away.

But 2 weeks ago I started thinking
And i was like this muscle attaction it keeps coming back everytime and i can’t get rid of it and tbh i do really like and enjoy it.
let’s stop tryna put it away and beat the attraction and embrace it this is what i like.
It might not be everyone cup of tea but that’s okay it’s my cup of tea.
I just love muscular women so much so i just embraced it.
But afterward i started going on a mastrubation binge.
I started re following all the female bodybuilders and muscular women on instagram and tiktok again.
Basically past 2 weeks i been mastrubating everyday on female bodybuilders multiple times a day.
And now i been struggling with the following issues
My dick don’t really work anymore
Because of all the mastrubation abuse
I already started having issues in the bedroom My sensitivity kinda was gone and having delayed ejaculation
But now i even start to have trouble with mastrubation.

And now it seems like i even start to get slowly desentized to muscular women now
really weird.
Maybe TMI so apologies
But muscular women still turn me on alot
And are the only women who still can give me boners and i just love them very much lol
But after embracing the attraction
I went on a binge and it seems like i’m getting slowly desentized to them now.
I stilk get boners from them and turned on
It just feels different then before now.
Muscular women was actually always the way to go when i was desentized
And now i’m even getting desentized to them.
The only thing where it almost seems impossible to get desensitized to got me kinda desensitized
The thing i did really enjoy the most and turned me on the most.
Even start to get taken away from me
I had this 1 time before few months ago
I stopped mastrubting on muscular women and unfollowing and desensitization got away.


But the reason i made this long post is because i need advice and help with the obsession addiction and desensitization.

For #1 I really wanna stop mastrubating
But how do i do that when i have this obsession?
Because i’m a gym guy so whether i follow those girls or not i do see muscular girls quite often + in the gym i do see them too.
I really wanna quit and better my life i just got stuck into this rabbit hole.

#2 How do i deal with this obsession?
How do i make this attraction healthy instead of a unhealthy obsession?
There’s just something about muscular girls what i love so much but it gets unhealthy everytime.
I wanna be able to enjoy and like these girls ( without mastrubating ofc ) without falling into obsession.
I even hired a female bodybuilder escort
who charged $1000
and slept with her
I have to say it was a amazing experience
But i literally spend $1000 on a escort which is pretty insane
I gonna be honest it’s def not my first time seeing a escort
But for a regular girl i never would pay that
much
So you see how far this obsession goes.

#3 The desententization
I wanna not be desensitized anymore
i wanna reverse the desensitization
I wanna like regular girls again how i used to be fully interested and attracted to regular girls again like before instead of only liking muscular girls if that make sense
It would make dating also alot of easier
Because finding and dating a female bodybuilder or overly muscular women isn’t that easy because they’re kinda hard to find.
and you’re very limited to 1 type of women now.
basically i wanna be able to like both at the same time.
wanna like regular women again how i used to while also still liking muscular women.
Also because of the mastrubation binge Slowly i’m also starting to become desensitized to muscular girls as well
I wanna reverse that desensitization as well
Will NoFap help me with the desensitization?

#4 During regular sex i noticed my sensitivity kinda disappeared and i’m struggling with delayed ejaculation
Will NoFap help this issue as well?

1 last question
Can i still follow girls on social media?
or should i unfollow most of them?
Talking about Muscular girls and regular girls.
Because i can’t even look at a muscular girl without instantly getting turned on and getting a boner ( apologies for tmi )
With regular girls it’s not that bad luckily.
But that’s probably also because i’m desensitized and my interest kinda faded away.
But when i’m at day 2/4 of nofap same thing happens with regular girls tho.


If you made it this far thank you very much
for reading all the way through it and i really hope anyone can help me out with my problems
And really wanna go back to nofap and kick this mastrubation addiction and obsession

 

[iwanttobefree22002]

it will take some serious unwiring of the brai n aka reboot , no pmo nofap, and also stop paying escorts

 

[TopG-91]

it will take some serious unwiring of the brai n aka reboot , no pmo nofap, and also stop paying escorts

How long on average will it take?
But it’s possible to reverse the desensitization and be interested in regular girls again?
I’m fine with liking and being attracted to muscular women , i wouldn’t want it to go away tbh.
But now it’s hurting my dating life
For the most part i only like muscular girls now
And wanna like regular women as well again how i used to.
The interest in regular women kinda faded away.

How long on average will it take to let my dick heal?
It got so bad that i can’t really have sex anymore and even during mastrubation i have issues now.
So basically i don’t even wanna mastrubate anymore but i keep doing it because of the muscle obsession and hornyness.

No Pmo nofap what about social media?
Should i unfollow all the girls on social media as well?
Muscular girls and regular girls.
Because i wasn’t really watching alot of porn
Muscular girls and female bodybuilders on instagram and tiktok was basically how i got off most of the time.

Lastly so how do i get out of this obsession
when i go on no pmo and nofap
Will the muscle girl obsession automatically go away?

Like i mentioned earlier the muscle girls aren’t the problem tbh i’m fine with liking them.
It’s just the unhealthy obsession with them and getting desensitized to other girls what is the problem.

 

[iwanttobefree22002]

How long on average will it take?
But it’s possible to reverse the desensitization and be interested in regular girls again?
I’m fine with liking and being attracted to muscular women , i wouldn’t want it to go away tbh.
But now it’s hurting my dating life
For the most part i only like muscular girls now
And wanna like regular women as well again how i used to.
The interest in regular women kinda faded away.

How long on average will it take to let my dick heal?
It got so bad that i can’t really have sex anymore and even during mastrubation i have issues now.
So basically i don’t even wanna mastrubate anymore but i keep doing it because of the muscle obsession and hornyness.

No Pmo nofap what about social media?
Should i unfollow all the girls on social media as well?
Muscular girls and regular girls.
Because i wasn’t really watching alot of porn
Muscular girls and female bodybuilders on instagram and tiktok was basically how i got off most of the time.

Lastly so how do i get out of this obsession
when i go on no pmo and nofap
Will the muscle girl obsession automatically go away?

Like i mentioned earlier the muscle girls aren’t the problem tbh i’m fine with liking them.
It’s just the unhealthy obsession with them and getting desensitized to other girls what is the problem.

id say give it 3 yrs

 

[TopG-91]

id say give it 3 yrs

3 Years? damnn that’s a long time like a very long time.
But well i been have this muscle obsession for like 2,5 years now so fair enough.
What about healing of my dick? how long would it take before i can have normal sex again?

And the question i already asked in my previous comment but still a very important one to ask especially since i wanna avoid relapses.
What about social media? should i reset it and unfollow every girl or is social media fine?
Bc it used to be a form of PMO for me.

 

[stmos]

Why not just settle down with a muscular woman? It seems like you’re just looking for permission to do that.

 

[TopG-91]

Why not just settle down with a muscular woman? It seems like you’re just looking for permission to do that.

Settling down with a muscular women would be the dream tbh only thing is it’s easier said than done.
They not that easy to find.
And i don’t even know how i should talk to them when i see one in the gym
They pretty serious and locked in most of the time like don’t wanna bother their workout.
And if being honest i’m not that good with talking to girls in general
+ They probably have higher standards appearance wise so i have to gain bit more muscle first.

But I’m def not looking for permission to settle with one if i meet one i def will settle with one.

But what’s mainly the issue atm is just that my obsession with muscle mommy’s is pretty unhealthy , and kinda keeps me away from nofap or lemme say makes it more difficult for me.
I wanna like them without having a unhealthy obsession with them.

And second i wanna reverse the desensitization
While it’s nice and all to like muscle mommy’s I wanna be able to like regular girls again
like i used to
But my intrest in regular girls kinda seems to faded away a bit ( not fully )
Which makes my dating chances def way smaller , bc like i said it’s easier to find a regular girl then a female bodybuilder/muscle mommy
and dating in this day and age is already hard.

Also because all the mastrubation i messed my dick up and wanna know if i stop mastrubating if my sensitivity ever comes back again and if i’m able to have sex again
( sex with a woman not mastrubation )

And i just need advice or help
how to beat this mastrubation addiction for good
and the do and don’t

Like 1 thing i’m thinking about is the following
I know the female bodybuilder on social media def give me alot of urges and usually
because of it i start to mastrubate
And def will make it easier for me to relapse when i’m on nofap.
The reason i follow them is because i don’t see girls like that in real life very often.
And i like looking at them.
Should i unfollow them or doesn’t it really matter that much as long i don’t mastrubate?

 

[Meshuga]

Classic escalation.

This won't be what you want to hear, but stop. Stop all of it. Stop porn, stop masturbation, stop following these women on social media, stop browsing for them on social media, stop all social media of you have to (highly recommend). Just stop. And go do something worthwhile. Do something amazing. Protip: touching yourself is not amazing. It's pathetic. Stop. Detox from sex. Stop thinking about sex, stop obsessing about these women, stop fantasizing about them and stop designing your life around them. Design your life around the person you want to be, not the kind of person you want to be with.

And I agree with @iwanttobefree22002, it's going to take a long time for you to recover. Longer than you thought. Not the sensitivity. That will probably come back fairly quickly. I've heard of some extreme cases where guys felt dead down there even a year or so after they quit, but that's after decades of abuse. You're probably going to be fine. But the psychological draw, that's going to take a long time to recover from.

Eventually you'll need to think about why you are drawn to the aesthetic of muscular women, but TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY. Today, that is just another excuse to think about your fetish, and it's a trap. Unplug. Detach, Eschew, egress, get away from sex in all its forms, because right now you're trapped and you don't know how to be a normal human being.

And for the love, don't use an escort ever again.

 

[lostINtranslation8]

Here's your problem.

When I started watching porn it was all regular normal porn . Girl only girl and guy girl on girl whe. Your going through puberty your mind is like anew born baby your hormones are as high as they will ever be .

The issue with porn especially as we age is not necessarily about what we're into although that becomes a big part of it, it's also about a lack of real connection with people who you are actually into


What basically happens is we spiral more and more and more over the years and before long realise mm I'm not as interested in what I once was before but I have crazy attraction to.this . The. You begin to get desensitised. Guess what maybe this isn't what your really into at all it could be something else.

This is how porn works you know your still into.the other thing but not the same as before . You have basically conditioned your mind by viewing more and more dopamine stimulating imagery and that's how our reward system works we go for.the stimulation that releases the most dopamine ie the highest reward .

I don't know really what to tell you you like muscular women s what alot of men do . Alot of male bodybuilders like women with big thick legs and shoulders.

Your main problem is being creepy whatever that means

There is nothing wrong with liking muscular women

Whe. I started watching porn I went from what I previous explained but I was watching pretty much every kind of women whe. I was a teenager short women tall women fat women obese women skinny women even grannies yeah I was horny as hell.for all that even muscular women now I'm onto transsexuals women . Now you can interrupt that anyway you want

You see this is what happens with porn we are hooked and the more we watch the more we become desensitised to the material .

I basically have been with most of these types if women short tall skinny fat mature only women I haven't been with is muscular I also find black women to be very attractive but I live in a mostly white European country. . Whe. You live in the real world sure you watch porn But in the real world with actual people that kind of tapers off or at least balances out because there much more to people than watching them on a computer .
This is why people build relationships

When You watch porn you eventually just can't stop watching porn because it hypersexualises you and you begin to not only deal with your hormones but everything else . Bad mood porn angry porn depressive porn the more lack of social connection to other people the more you will use porn of your already and addict

The issue with desensitisation is level of exposure and recovery period refractory period . The older you get you can't keep jacking off 10 times a day and have no issues . You basically need breaks in between and you will realise what your attracted to is back up to.super horny again .

Why do you think.studies have show porn has reduced rape crimes . Because jerking off All the time modulates the manifestation of male testosterone . I always remember when I quit porn for a while I get very stressed and aggressive I have relatively high testosterone but as a younger adult it was considered high like 1000ng/dl this has given me all kinds of symptoms like adhd , mood instability, etc etc so I was likely destined to be a depressive kind of guy or some kind of porn addict . I'm pretty sure we all.deap.with this issue with compulsion because hormones and conditioning

But the more porn we watch the more desensitised we become it's just a fact

Refractory period is what you should focus on if not NoFap focus on a few days between and guaranteed you will enjoy porn more aswell as see it as a means to an end between days rather tha. A 24/7 around the clock fixation .

Your problem is porn doesn't cut it. It's the same for us all we like porn but everyone needs actual human relationships otherwise they are never actually fulfilled

The fact you like muscular women is irrelevant

Sorry bro I ramble myself

Why don't you start focusing on. Yourself and your goals , get into sports or something to burn off excess energy trust me it makes a huge difference and why don't you start dating instead of living life from afar does that not make more sense I understand this is potentially a preference so I can understand myself my preferences are like gold dust now is that because of porn who knows. I have yet to actually NoFap for any sustainable streak 7 days is my max and that was 5 years ago

You need to do more with your time a physically demanding job or hobby is a good place to.start to level off

 

[lostINtranslation8]

Classic escalation.

This won't be what you want to hear, but stop. Stop all of it. Stop porn, stop masturbation, stop following these women on social media, stop browsing for them on social media, stop all social media of you have to (highly recommend). Just stop. And go do something worthwhile. Do something amazing. Protip: touching yourself is not amazing. It's pathetic. Stop. Detox from sex. Stop thinking about sex, stop obsessing about these women, stop fantasizing about them and stop designing your life around them. Design your life around the person you want to be, not the kind of person you want to be with.

And I agree with @iwanttobefree22002, it's going to take a long time for you to recover. Longer than you thought. Not the sensitivity. That will probably come back fairly quickly. I've heard of some extreme cases where guys felt dead down there even a year or so after they quit, but that's after decades of abuse. You're probably going to be fine. But the psychological draw, that's going to take a long time to recover from.

Eventually you'll need to think about why you are drawn to the aesthetic of muscular women, but TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY. Today, that is just another excuse to think about your fetish, and it's a trap. Unplug. Detach, Eschew, egress, get away from sex in all its forms, because right now you're trapped and you don't know how to be a normal human being.

And for the love, don't use an escort ever again.

People feel dead because your sex drive can actually become dormant or at least you don't think of it as horny only stress. Porn is a hyperstimulis it increases sex drive .

Guaranteed these guys watch porn again they quickly increase there sex drive . You feel dead because you have less hyperstimulis and more "stress" you are anxious horny stressed aggressive and don't really know how to channel it must people need to feel relaxed to channel there energy . This is why getting to know people is good when in a relationship or are building one and your into.the person your going to channel that energy. This is probably why so many people struggle with mental health they don't know how to socialise and are uptight because of it

It's common. Anyone ever see the TV series boardwalk empire can't remember the dudes name but the dude is a gangster provabky seen and done all kindd if crazy shit back in prohabtion and i think was in the war before that .he meets a really attractive women and she is full on . He basically says to her she cured his problem . He hasn't been able to get hard for years but with her . Yeah I'd say hormones. Mutual attraction porn all.that shit . I mean look at some of the posts in here over the years people don't know what to be at other than watch porn and they didn't have much porn. Back then I would Imagine not the way we do now

 

[lostINtranslation8]

Settling down with a muscular women would be the dream tbh only thing is it’s easier said than done.
They not that easy to find.
And i don’t even know how i should talk to them when i see one in the gym
They pretty serious and locked in most of the time like don’t wanna bother their workout.
And if being honest i’m not that good with talking to girls in general
+ They probably have higher standards appearance wise so i have to gain bit more muscle first.

But I’m def not looking for permission to settle with one if i meet one i def will settle with one.

But what’s mainly the issue atm is just that my obsession with muscle mommy’s is pretty unhealthy , and kinda keeps me away from nofap or lemme say makes it more difficult for me.
I wanna like them without having a unhealthy obsession with them.

And second i wanna reverse the desensitization
While it’s nice and all to like muscle mommy’s I wanna be able to like regular girls again
like i used to
But my intrest in regular girls kinda seems to faded away a bit ( not fully )
Which makes my dating chances def way smaller , bc like i said it’s easier to find a regular girl then a female bodybuilder/muscle mommy
and dating in this day and age is already hard.

Also because all the mastrubation i messed my dick up and wanna know if i stop mastrubating if my sensitivity ever comes back again and if i’m able to have sex again
( sex with a woman not mastrubation )

And i just need advice or help
how to beat this mastrubation addiction for good
and the do and don’t

Like 1 thing i’m thinking about is the following
I know the female bodybuilder on social media def give me alot of urges and usually
because of it i start to mastrubate
And def will make it easier for me to relapse when i’m on nofap.
The reason i follow them is because i don’t see girls like that in real life very often.
And i like looking at them.
Should i unfollow them or doesn’t it really matter that much as long i don’t mastrubate?

My advice ..

Sports
Physically demand job
Gym
Potentially try talking to women you like

Why not open a gym called muscular mommy's then she can train in your gym for free lmao

I don't know bro I got a similar issue that requires extra thought but if you can NoFap and you find attraction to regular women again we'll you've opened up a door of possibilities.

I'm the same I only have one main attraction now but chances are I quit porn long enough things myt change I mean they defintley do when I NoFap I get crazy lucid dreams about women and then get spontaneous hard ons all the time thinking about women when I watch porn dead to the world when I stop it returns and my other obsession begins to stabilise

I mean I.went 10 years when I last quit watching it so but that attraction will always be there but dormant so yes porn defintley does I believe influence what we're exposed to And what we fixate on

I think.quitting porn for a time can be good for everyone at least to help return us to our baseline

I mean I'm hooked watching porn and I really dont care about real relationships other than one person that has developed through porn

If I quit porn chances are I'm not going to be as fixated on her . My sex drive and preferences either return to baseline or establish themselves to looking for people I'm into Naturally without hypersexualisation . But with porn I obsess about my hypersexualised preference and nothing else compares that's porn escalation and I'm not living in the real world.

Yeah it's not easy I honestly think this forum needs a check in sheet like a movember but NoFap 30 days right up in the front page with list of names of who takes part and everyday log your progress . There's just basically not alot of incentive for people who are struggling alot with this addiction this sub is great and all but I think it could do more with the platform it has to hit NoFap goals

We need lime a NoFap raffle £300 for 30 days lol or the first 10 who go the longest streak

 

[lostINtranslation8]

How long on average will it take?
But it’s possible to reverse the desensitization and be interested in regular girls again?
I’m fine with liking and being attracted to muscular women , i wouldn’t want it to go away tbh.
But now it’s hurting my dating life
For the most part i only like muscular girls now
And wanna like regular women as well again how i used to.
The interest in regular women kinda faded away.

How long on average will it take to let my dick heal?
It got so bad that i can’t really have sex anymore and even during mastrubation i have issues now.
So basically i don’t even wanna mastrubate anymore but i keep doing it because of the muscle obsession and hornyness.

No Pmo nofap what about social media?
Should i unfollow all the girls on social media as well?
Muscular girls and regular girls.
Because i wasn’t really watching alot of porn
Muscular girls and female bodybuilders on instagram and tiktok was basically how i got off most of the time.

Lastly so how do i get out of this obsession
when i go on no pmo and nofap
Will the muscle girl obsession automatically go away?

Like i mentioned earlier the muscle girls aren’t the problem tbh i’m fine with liking them.
It’s just the unhealthy obsession with them and getting desensitized to other girls what is the problem.

Bro you will recover fairly quickly it's refractory period . I mean pornstars even take a break . They need at least a few days to a week between shoots before they are primed and ready of course they take all kinds of sexual performance enhancers aswell and still they need time between shoots.

 

[TopG-91]

Classic escalation

Classic escalation? yea? how exactly if i can ask just curious.

This won't be what you want to hear, but stop. Stop all of it. Stop porn, stop masturbation, stop following these women on social media, stop browsing for them on social media, stop all social media of you have to (highly recommend). Just stop. And go do something worthwhile. Do something amazing. Protip: touching yourself is not amazing. It's pathetic. Stop. Detox from sex. Stop thinking about sex, stop obsessing about these women, stop fantasizing about them and stop designing your life around them. Design your life around the person you want to be, not the kind of person you want to be with.

You are definitely right it’s very pathetic…
you could do thousand things better then touching yourself
What’s even more pathetic is that it went to the point my thing barely works anymore and i still touch myself and afterwards my whole heart is pounding…
How do i stop obsessing and fantasizing about these women?
That’s really my goal
To stop obsessing with these women and just have a normal healthy attraction to them
without it being unhealthy
If that’s a realistic possible goal ofc
Because i do love these women alot so it’s hard to totally give them up you know
I mean i tried but it always comes back.
And also being able to like other women as well
I didin’t always used to be like this
before the muscle attraction i did like regular girls now it seems it kinda faded away
Luckily not fully bc since yesterday i noticed i felt some attraction for some regular girls so that’s some progress.

Stop following all women on social media right muscular women and regular women correct ?

and how do i stop the thoughts?
sex thoughts are always spooking arround in my head tbh man they’re even in my dreams.

But the psychological draw, that's going to take a long time to recover from.

Sorry if it’s sounds dumb but what is exactly the psychological draw?

Eventually you'll need to think about why you are drawn to the aesthetic of muscular women, but TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY. Today, that is just another excuse to think about your fetish, and it's a trap. Unplug. Detach, Eschew, egress, get away from sex in all its forms, because right now you're trapped and you don't know how to be a normal human being.

I know today is not that day so i’m not really going to think about it , But i do have some ideas since i thought about it before.
Mainly it’s because i’m a gym guy.
But why eventually do i have to think about why i’m attracted to muscular women?
I mean everyone has their own type preference and attraction right?
Like some like skinny some like thick/fat
some like curvy ( what i used to like before the muscle attraction )
And well i can go on.

So get away from sex in all forms that includes real life incounters with a actual woman as well?
And for how long? because a human eventually needs to release after a certain period right?
mastrubating ofc is off limits!

 

[TopG-91]

When I started watching porn it was all regular normal porn . Girl only girl and guy girl on girl whe. Your going through puberty your mind is like anew born baby your hormones are as high as they will ever be .

The issue with porn especially as we age is not necessarily about what we're into although that becomes a big part of it, it's also about a lack of real connection with people who you are actually into


What basically happens is we spiral more and more and more over the years and before long realise mm I'm not as interested in what I once was before but I have crazy attraction to.this . The. You begin to get desensitised. Guess what maybe this isn't what your really into at all it could be something else.

This is how porn works you know your still into.the other thing but not the same as before . You have basically conditioned your mind by viewing more and more dopamine stimulating imagery and that's how our reward system works we go for.the stimulation that releases the most dopamine ie the highest reward .

That’s def true however most of the time the porn i watched was just some girl on girl stuff nothing to crazy tbh, but i have to say that lately it definitely started becoming a bit boring like i need something new
But i didin’t want to go through the whole rabbit hole of porn.
Bc i know dangerous rabbit hole porn can get you into and didn’t want to make shit even worse then it already is.
so i avoided diving very deep into the rabbit hole
That being said lately i tend to got more stimulus from milfs and dominant women
But i do like muscular women and like getting dominated by them
so i probably do like dominant women , maybe because i have some mommy issues who knows lol
Long story short most of the time my porn wasn’t that crazy.
Yea i had times where i did watched some crazy shit what i actually don’t even like but majority of the time it was some regular stuff.

The most dopamine stimulation i def got from the muscular girls
That’s also how i got desensitized to regular girls.
And sex sometimes feels weird when the girl is not muscular.
But most of the dopamine stimulus
wasn’t from porn but just regular pictures or videos of muscular buff women.
So porn wasn’t really the problem but mastrubation is.
But the stimulation from it might be higher then every porn i watched tbh.


Porn def let you seek out weirder and weirder stuff bc of desensitization and dopamine hits

But i don’t think this was porn induced tbh

During the time i started getting attracted to muscular girls i also wasn’t really mastrubating or watching porn alot.
And actually still kind of doing NoFap just not fully anymore.
The muscle mommy trend got popular
I started seeing more muscular women on social media and just switched gyms where i saw some muscular women
+ I started getting serious with the gym
that’s kinda how i got into it
but because they turned me on so much i started mastrubating again and stopped completely with NoFap
and everything got out of control.
This kind of hornyness i think i never had experienced before.

I don't know really what to tell you you like muscular women s what alot of men do . Alot of male bodybuilders like women with big thick legs and shoulders.

Your main problem is being creepy whatever that means

There is nothing wrong with liking muscular women

I didin’t know alot of men did like muscular women
But in the bodybuilding community i know it’s more common.
And yea gym is def the reason i started liking muscular women
I started liking muscular women & eventually got to female bodybuilders when i was very serious into working out and bodybuilding.
I always did like big legs on women like my whole life and booty lol but not necessarily muscle muscle
Now i like muscle muscle
Big shoulders big arms big wide back sickpack big legs and booty and veins
Basically the whole package especially when she’s shredded.
But i remember between the age of 15/16
and 18 i had a period where i did like muscular girls.
But it was not my main attraction but more a side ( light ) attraction.
Here and there i did mastrubate to muscular girls or female bodybuilder porn but it wasn’t often just once in a while.
afterwards suddenly i thought it was weird or something and i totally forgot about it
And well when i got seriously into the gym you could say it came back this time strong asf with a obsession and developed into my main attraction.
and there’s definitely nothing wrong with liking muscular women first i thought it was weird but i have embraced and accepted it
But what is wrong is this unhealthy obsession doesn’t matter what type of women this kind of obsession is just wrong and unhealthy and doesn’t make nofap easy.

And about being creepy
I’m like full of sexual energy which makes me creepy it’s very weird to explain.
Well i start for one i always have to check every girl out stare at their ass even had to switch gyms because i got caught to many times now i’m just taking about regular girls btw.
Also it makes me kinda insecure and anti social.
Like i can’t even look a girl in her eyes or talk with a girl without feeling uncomfortable
tbh even when i walk near a girl i get anxious
And thing is girls feel this whole vibe and they look at me at a certain way.
It’s also very weird how i’m desensitized but at the same time still check out every girl especially when i didin’t mastrubate it’s the worst.

I also find black women to be very attractive but I live in a mostly white European country. .

Another thing about desensitization
I used to have a big thing for black women maybe even a small fetish / obsession ( not 100% sure )
But i did like them alot also slept with many black women.
But now i suddenly don’t really like them anymore very weird.

When You watch porn you eventually just can't stop watching porn because it hypersexualises you and you begin to not only deal with your hormones but everything else . Bad mood porn angry porn depressive porn the more lack of social connection to other people the more you will use porn of your already and addict

Well i don’t really watch porn that much but that you can’t stop i have the samr with mastrubating on these female bodybuilders on instagram and tiktok youtube.
Bad mood porn and stuff
I never experienced that
But also i wasn’t watching alot of porn
Like i said mastrubation was the main problem.
But i’m very hyper sexual to the point it’s annoying i constantly getting urges constantly horny.
If i don’t jerk off for 1 day and i’m not even talking about the whole day but i mean skipping my morning fap.
I literally will walk arround with a boner whole day which don’t go away till i release
It can stay for hours
It feels like i’m on viagra.
Today i attempted to do nofap but i messed up….
Didin’t do it in the morning walked arround with a boner for hours didin’t went away
whatever i did felt like i was on viagra
when i finally got home i did fail
Tomorrow trying again i really wanna stop these boners are just really painful.

The issue with desensitisation is level of exposure and recovery period refractory period . The older you get you can't keep jacking off 10 times a day and have no issues . You basically need breaks in between and you will realise what your attracted to is back up to.super horny again .

Why do you think.studies have show porn has reduced rape crimes . Because jerking off All the time modulates the manifestation of male testosterone . I always remember when I quit porn for a while I get very stressed and aggressive I have relatively high testosterone but as a younger adult it was considered high like 1000ng/dl this has given me all kinds of symptoms like adhd , mood instability, etc etc so I was likely destined to be a depressive kind of guy or some kind of porn addict . I'm pretty sure we all.deap.with this issue with compulsion because hormones and conditioning

But the more porn we watch the more desensitised we become it's just a fact

Refractory period is what you should focus on if not NoFap focus on a few days between and guaranteed you will enjoy porn more aswell as see it as a means to an end between days rather tha. A 24/7 around the clock fixation .

Your problem is porn doesn't cut it. It's the same for us all we like porn but everyone needs actual human relationships otherwise they are never actually fulfilled

So the reason i’m desensitized is because i’m jacking off to much and can’t handle it now i’m getting older?
I’m mid 20’s btw but def noticed that my dick is acting funny like it’s to much for my dick to handle.
Longest i went without mastrubating in the last years was 1 week.
After the day 3/4 mark i noticed i tend to feel more attracted to regular women and
actually having some fantasies about regular women.
But still even after 1 week i still feel a bit desensitized I’m still not fully recovered but also 1 week is the longest i went without mastrubation in the past few years.

My testosterone is also very high i’m mid 20’s and i have a testosterone arround 900
which could also be the reason why i mastrubate so often because when i don’t mastrubate i literally can’t focus.

How actually does the Refractory period work?

And that’s also very true
I’m ngl i do need actual human relationships
But i suck in relationships and dating
like tbh i barely had any relationships
I’m not really good with talking with girls
been in many failed talking stages approached lots of women barely any numbers
you could say i got tired
But atm my mind also got messed up tho
Before i always wanted to have a relationship
But now i don’t really care alot about relationships anymore and just see women as sex and lust objects which is wrong…..
That being said the only women i still care about being in a relationship with and don’t only see as sex/lust objects are muscular women.

The fact you like muscular women is irrelevant

It is irrelevant what type of women you like doesn’t matter.
But when it starts to become a unhealthy obsession and you tend to only like these type of women and get desensitized to every other women it kinda gets relevant i think.
Like i said to the other guy in my previous comment
If it’s possible and realistic i wanna like and have a healthy attraction to muscular women
without having a unhealthy obsession with them and thinking 24/7 about them
and still being able to like and be attracted to other girls.

Why don't you start focusing on. Yourself and your goals , get into sports or something to burn off excess energy trust me it makes a huge difference and why don't you start dating instead of living life from afar does that not make more sense I understand this is potentially a preference so I can understand myself my preferences are like gold dust now is that because of porn who knows. I have yet to actually NoFap for any sustainable streak 7 days is my max and that was 5 years ago

You need to do more with your time a physically demanding job or hobby is a good place to.start to level off

I’m focusing on myself right now
I’m into sports i go gym
I have to say i did took some time off the gym but i’m grinding in the gym again building my physique.
Only thing is the gym even makes me more horny while i burn energy it raises my testosterone like crazy which usually ends up with crazy urges afterwards.
Also in the gym is mostly where you see the most muscular women.
Recently got to a new gym where you see actual female bodybuilders train.
But i’m still to scared and shy to approach them lol.
Wanna get my body back in shape first and gain some confidence + i need to learn how to approach first my approaches are kinda creepy/akward you now

Why you don’t start dating
Yea i really want to tbh
But i don’t know how i’m stuck and lost
which might be the reason i’m into this mess
I’m mid 20’s and never really been good with the girls i’m not social i’m akward shy not smooth at all not that confident.
And well i only been into failed talking stages what never worked out.
The only time i had some success was when i was on nofap but still didin’t workout.
I approached like crazy but got rejected by every girl because i’m akward and shy.
I don’t look bad but it’s my vibe confidence and my social skills.
I just don’t really know how to talk to girls
Which probably also lead me to alot of mastrubation and porn.
And also lead me down a rabbit hole of prostitutes/escorts only reason i actually been able to do 8 months of NoFap was because i was seeing escorts.
however since the muscle attraction i have to say my escort visits decreased somewhat a bit.
I’m mid 20’s and never had a girlfriend not even dating
I went on 2 dates with a girl from my gym 2 years ago and that’s about the closest i been to dating
I been visiting prostitutes since the age of 17/18 because i kinda was hopeless.

Doing more with my time is actually a good thing i have way to much time atm

 

[TopG-91]

My advice ..

Sports
Physically demand job
Gym
Potentially try talking to women you like

I’m into sports well i go to the gym 5/6 times a week.
Physically demanding job might actually be a good one
Try to talk to women you like if i really knew how to talk to women it would be alot easier for me.
i really want to learn tbh but watched so mant youtube dating coaches and still didin’t succeed even bought coaching.

Why not open a gym called muscular mommy's then she can train in your gym for free lmao

Good one haha who know in the future when i got the money haha

I get crazy lucid dreams about women and then get spontaneous hard ons all the time thinking about women when I watch porn dead to the world when I stop it returns and my other obsession begins to stabilise

How long you been on nofap for?
and what’s the longest you quit for 10 years you said?
Yea when i was on nofap for 8 months i was the same lucid dreams and got hard all the time by regular women.
I still get hard very often but only by muscular women regular women don’t do it anymore
even after 1 week of nofap
onky thing is mine wasn’t porn induced

Yeah it's not easy I honestly think this forum needs a check in sheet like a movember but NoFap 30 days right up in the front page with list of names of who takes part and everyday log your progress . There's just basically not alot of incentive for people who are struggling alot with this addiction this sub is great and all but I think it could do more with the platform it has to hit NoFap goals

It’s def not easy my hardest addiction tbh
but that’s actually a pretty good idea!
hope the mods see it

 

[TopG-91]

Bro you will recover fairly quickly it's refractory period . I mean pornstars even take a break . They need at least a few days to a week between shoots before they are primed and ready of course they take all kinds of sexual performance enhancers aswell and still they need time between shoots.

What about attraction desensitization? i went 1 week without jacking this summer
And i def felt the attraction for regular girls coming back but it still wasn’t fully there.
But because i’m so fixated on muscular girls got kinda desensitized to other girls

 

[TopG-91]

Bro you will recover fairly quickly it's refractory period . I mean pornstars even take a break . They need at least a few days to a week between shoots before they are primed and ready of course they take all kinds of sexual performance enhancers aswell and still they need time between shoots.

What i really want is just
Not being desensitized anymore being fully attracted to other girls again like before.
not being obsessed with muscular girls anymore but instead have a healthy attraction for them
not be creepy or akward anymore and being able to actually have success with girls.
And finally being able to beat this addiction because today didin’t go well….

 

[Meshuga]

Classic escalation? yea? how exactly if i can ask just curious.

When we have no exposure to porn, we get excited by the most basic porn. With continued exposure we get bored of the same old stuff, so we branch out and find a niche, something more exciting. The niche can vary, and for some guys it's novelty that makes them excited so they go through phases. Especially for the ones that pick a single genre, though, they decide they can't get hard to anything else and decide this is their sexual identity now. This is very concerning for guys who find their favored niche in conflict with the values they hold outside of their porn addiction. An example might be a guy who believes he has respect for women, but finds he responds to portrayals of violence and coercion. But if they stop watching porn, if they "de-escalate," they find they can react positively to basic stimulus again. In your case, I believe you truly do like the muscular aesthetic. It does present a problem, as you have identified, as that aesthetic in women is relatively rare. It's hard enough to find a mate, even without reducing your pool of potentials down to a fraction of a fraction of women. If you stop watching porn altogether, though, I think you'll find normal women acceptable.

How do i stop obsessing and fantasizing about these women?
...
If that’s a realistic possible goal ofc
...

Stop following all women on social media right muscular women and regular women correct ?

and how do i stop the thoughts?
sex thoughts are always spooking arround in my head tbh man they’re even in my dreams.

First, the realistic goal part. It is realistic, if and only if you have realistic expectations of yourself. Follow the link I have in my signature, "Why Most Addicts Don't Succeed.

Second, the way you avoid fantasy is to have something non-sexual to think about instead of the fantasies that recur spontaneously throughout the day. I recommend focusing on choosing goals for who you want to be in life, and developing plans for how to get there. I also recommend thinking about philosophy or religious text, and understanding it.

Third, yes, stop following muscular women on social media, stop following women on social media, but frankly, you have to go further. You have to stop social media entirely, and you have to stop thinking about women and sex and your sexual future. At least, for a while. That's how far you have to go to learn how to stay abstinent, and begin recovery from addiction. If you think that sounds to extreme and you're not willing to go to those lengths, you're going to spend a long time figuring out on your own that everything I've told you already is true. I have been on this forum a long, long time, I have experienced for myself and seen dozens, of not scores of others learn for themselves. It's extremely common for young men to struggle to get "streaks" of 30, 10, even 7 days. I met one young guy, though, who resolved to do whatever it took from the beginning. He spent every free hour in the library, in public, where he knew he wouldn't open a porn window or fap, or start browsing Facebook and chatting up girls and you know what? It worked. He was abstinent for a few weeks, long enough to get through the initial pain, and begin the introspection needed to resolve his traumas, and process what it was he was really seeking from his addictive behavior. In April he told me

hey dude, I relapsed again... i need hours of watching, 4 years ago i would watch porn for 2 hours, 2 years ago i would edge for 5 hours, now i edge for a whole day man literally, tears are going down my eyes as i am typing this, like i don't do anything I wake up and start edging, my family calls me to launch, i go eat, and come back to my room and keep edging...

In August he said

day 128, and working on my recovery

That's what happens if you get realistic about your addiction, declare war, and do what is necessary to get as far away from fapping as possible.

As for dreaming about sex and porn, I just told another guy today, if you find alternative ways to consistently get an intake of healthy dopamine, and you feel good about your relationships and the way you conduct yourself in the world, those dreams will taper off.

It is important to believe you are doing well. Not just less bad, but actually making progress and becoming the person you want to be. That helps you maintain that psychological balance in life, and keeps your brain trained on replicating the behaviors that earn a reward, not just avoiding the ones that incur punishment. Belief, however, is not a single decision you make one day. Belief is the consequence of compiled evidence. So, if you want to believe you are the sort of person that takes care of himself, you need to do the things you think are most important for self-care. Work out, eat right, that kind of thing. Then you can say, "see, these are the things I am doing, here is the evidence that I am who I say I am."