Hi Guys and Gals, I'm after some advice regarding my partner who I believe has a porn addiction and the related ED that goes with it. I will start at the beginning, I am 47 he is 50 and we met 4 years ago, sorry it's a rather long rant and possibly disjointed as not slept a wink last night! When we first started seeing each other it was a sort of long distance thing, he would come and stay with me on the Friday and go back on the Monday. Sex was ok but he didn't have strong erections, we just carried on and got round that! 6 moths later sex completely stopped, however, he would bring his tablet, the computer, not the blue variety! Once he locked me out of my own house after I nipped to the shops which I though was odd, obviously he didn't want to get caught, he would go to bed really early, with his tablet and I had a feeling he was watching porn and masturbating, tuned out I was right. He eventually told me he had ED, I was fine with that, it happens where there's a will there's a way! He had mentioned porn a couple of times previously, I remember thinking he seems a bit enthusiastic about it but, whatever! We moved in together but sex never improved. He had to take three months off work due to an injury on his left shoulder, when I got back from work I would noticed the pubic hair on the desk, a few crispy socks next to the bed. He started getting up really early in the morning and be on the computer, I started getting up early too and the look he would give me was of utter resentment seemingly because I had interrupted him, has stayed with me. What has also stayed with me is hearing him masturbating in another room after rejecting me many times, my attempts to try different things to turn him on, but nothing but rejection. He started working night shifts every other week, he took his laptop with him so he could play football manager, when he changed jobs I emptied the computer bag, it was FULL of crispy flannels and tissues. At one point we swapped over bedrooms, his incredible pile of socks and shirts that he rarely sorted out were all crispy, we were having sex once every four months, he told me he had no libido! Ok, so, bad as it is I started looking for evidence, I looked his old computer that wasn't using anymore, the history was quite incredible, 4 hours of porn each night after work and while we were chatting on messenger, pages and pages of it, his tablet, also full of porn, I knew then what was going on. I suggested that may be he had a porn addiction, which was fobbed off. I have tried to tell him what this is doing to me, he has seen me break down over this and becomes quite defensive/nasty. I have also tried to tell him that actually making love is not everything in a relationship but is very important, that also falls on deaf ears. I have told him how I feel beneath porn, that I feel like a big bag of shit now, then he will turn it around by saying it's 'all about me' which of course it's not. I have suggested we tried therapy, that started an argument. I hate this, all I want to do is to resolve this together. We have had a lot of arguments about this, I just can't explain to him without him getting nasty what this is doing to me and us. I have never been sexually lacking in confidence, but I am now, I feel like I must be so, incredibly ugly that he can't stand touching me, it's crushing and at one point I was self harming because of the frustration and humiliation. I don't initiate any more because the rejection was becoming too painful and after one occasion where I suggested we have a play the response was 'ewww no' and another 'You'll only make me fail' I had enough and switched on the child filter. He just downloaded stuff from pirate sites. I'm even getting to the stage where I don't want him to see my body, so he never sees me naked, he's never asked why. For the last year we have worked the same hours and sex did improve. Then he was given a phone in April last year, between then and October we had sex 3 times, it was rough and painful. He then started coming home a bit later from work, I believe he's watching porn when everyone goes home as he has an empty office. I have found a crusty t shirt in the back of his car, a crusty scarf in the washing machine, he's doing everything he can to hide this. Two weeks ago his phone went wrong, I almost audibly cheered, he initially panicked and is looking for a new one but it's notable that he seems happier in the last couple of weeks and is home at the normal time. We are planning on getting married in September, but this issue is causing me even more sleepless nights than before. I'm scared that we will end up being married flat mates. He is a wonderful man and we love each other and he treats me very well, except for this. I have tried to get through to him but I can't, but I can't be sexual second best anymore, it's painful beyond words. He is addicted, but he won't accept it. I don't talk about it any more, there seems little point and it just starts an arguments and causes resentment. I want us to have a fulfilling sex life, he wants porn. We do need to start working on this now. I just don't know how to approach this, I think I've tried everything. HELP!