Help regaining my sexuality again

Just accept that it happened. Accept it that you might be gay. there's nothing bad about it. The worst thing to do is to deny that you used to watch gay and trans P.
Your'e not gay. but Your'e not straight. You are you. Stay away from definitions. Stop NOW! with P. P has messed up your brain. Regaining your brain might take a while, Time heals everything, give it all the time it takes, Don't try to find short cuts.
Good luck with your new journey! We're all gonna make it

 

You have already predicted answer: 90day nofap. I would only add: no fantasing and edging and living your life.

 

Hi,
I had a similar situation, all the way to the crossdressing. I started out with straight porn, then went to lesbians (because I didn't like the guy) then went to lesbians with strap-ons, which led to transsexuals on women, then to transsexuals on transsexuals, then men and transsexuals with men topping, and then vice versa, then into some pure man on man stuff.
This really messed with my mind, because some of the stuff I was looking at towards the end would have legitimately made me sick in the beginning.

Several things saved me. First, I still remembered the first wet dreams I had from before my porn addiction made them stop. All of them were only about girls I knew at the time. All straight stuff.

Second, I read several books about the science behind porn addiction. One common theme of porn addiction, is just like any addiction, you need more and more to get high. The old stuff doesn't let your brain produce as much dopamine as it used to, so you look for something new. You try it once, and a circuit is built in your head. New thing = more dopamine. Now, you'll look for it again. Additionally, breaking taboos, such as a straight man looking at non-straight porn, produces anxiety and adrenaline. And adrenaline gives you a quick pulse, dilating pupils, clammy skin. All things that can be mistakenly interpreted for sexual attraction. so you give it a go and now you've established a circuit.

So, in conclusion. you're most likely straight. You've just been brainwashing yourself into liking stuff that isn't really you.
If you want more details, i suggest you read "Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the merging science of addition." It's 5 bucks on Amazon, and it has tons of testimonials from people along with fun facts about the brain and addiction. It's an easy read.

I read it, which is where i'm pulling a lot of my stuff from.

Finally, as a last note: Wikipedia says less then 1 in 10 american males is actually gay, and transsexualism is closer to 2 in 100. So, the odds are in your favor.

 

If I had to guess I'd say you are straight.

I have heard of many many instances where porn users will fap to more and more extreme stuff and even act out in ways that they never would have previously due to their addiction.

As the post above said you need more hardcore shit to get you off.

Even things like cross dressing. I have heard of guys visiting gay beats and getting some action from guys who identify as straight.

Right now you need to get your head straight and work out what you want to do.

When i first started with nofap in mid June 2018I did a lot of reading but no committing to the nofap stuff and the reboots. I thought I could read about it get an idea and I would be ok...no way gotta stay vigillant and motivated

Now I am in a reboot and have had many relapses but I have strung together 12 days on this effort which I would have dreamed about that kinda success even 3 months ago.

You need to commit and shock that brain back to where you want it to be. Break that fucking cycle of depression, shame and guilt.

All the best mate but remember should you fail to quit this it will be everything to do with you. You have to give it 100%

Now go get 'em buddy!

 

hit 90

 

I think you have
Obdisorder compulsive disorder
Which to cure it
You must identify your problem but in reality your brain do that so when your brain attack you remember it is not real. By the time you will be fine

 

Even just being aware of triggers and things that make you want to go and fap goes a long way towards your recovery. Everyday that you are porn free is a win. Gotta be ready to quit. Gotta give it 100%

 

I've been trying for a year. I don't say that to discourage you, but to give you hope. As long as you keep trying you WILL BEAT IT! The key is, keep trying.
You're trying to beat a habit of probably years. it's going to take effort and time, but it's doable.

Couple things to try and help:
1. visit this site, and reddit's nofap group. It's a great free research and a huge encouragement.I hadn't found it until this latest attempt, and its already helping.
2. try and get an accountability partner. Someone you can call when the urge hits and talk through it, or distract you. I try and call home. Nothing kills the urge faster then talking to my parents or my grandmom. and the bonus is you get to build a better relationship with them.
3. If you're still having trouble, cut down on the opportunities. Add some kind of blocker software. I told my roommate my problem (he does computer stuff for a living) and he added an opendns blocker thing to my router for me. no idea how to get past it, and it cuts down the options to just my phone. And I've started to look into blockers for that. While it all comes down to willpower in the end, things like that help to let you save your willpower for the big moments, and cut down on mistakes.
4. Work out. it's a great feeling, the opposite of fapping, and it leaves you in a great mood, espeically as you start to see improvement. Plus, its on the same slow steady basis as the 90day NoFap challenge. Bet you can easily lose some weight or put on some muscles in that time, so you'll end it feeling better then ever.
5. Read inspirational stuff. For me, it's CS Lewis and other Christian philosphers and the Bible. if that's not your cup of tea, try biographies of amazing people. I'd advise Band of Brothers by Stephen E. Ambrose(plus you can watch the amazing tv series afterward).

 

It is a phenomena called porn escalation. You eventually start browsing different kinds of porn because the old vanilla stuff doesn't get you hard anymore, and you will eventually end up watching stuff that may get you confused about your sexuality. The solution is to abstain from PMO altogether, avoid edging, P-subs and fantasies and you will start to recover.

Good luck on your journey!