Spirale
Fapstronaut
Anyone who could provide some assistance it would be greatly appreciated.
So Ive recently gone deeper and deeper into the s***y genre in the lost few months maybe more. By deeper Im referring to the sleep hypnosis. I avoided it for years because I know how powerful people say it is. But I got to a point where I needed more then what I was getting from everything else. And so I listened to one.. that lead to doing the induction and a number of other ones. The past week or more I've listened to quite a bit.
Ive recently blocked all means of P on phone and laptop. But i found it on youtube. And it didnt stop me fantasizing. Somehow my housemates panties turned up in my washing this morning. Later in the day i tried them on. I pretended i was a female. I then shaved the bottom half of my body. Filmed myself (dont want to talk about what i filmed) and re-watched it in replacement of P. Now I sit here disgusted. What the fuck did i do? What the fuck is wrong with me?
Its become clearer in the last week this is all about escapism. But it isnt about escaping from a moment in time, its about escaping from me, my personality, my life and reality. Its about destroying me, and creating a pathetically weak alter personality who is happy to degrade themself. Its exciting though, to leave everything about me behind. It sells it in a really optimistically seductive way to leave the real me behind and forget about all my troubles. Theres a lot I dont like about myself and it preys on that. I probably am bi, always have been; fine Ive been working that out for a long time. But I want my masculinity. I dont want to degrade myself in a dream.
It would be great to hear other peoples accounts with this. Feeling really low on myself. How have you left it behind? What worked well? Is there reversal hypnosis? even just some support.. be good to feel not so fucked up as Im feeling right now.
So Ive recently gone deeper and deeper into the s***y genre in the lost few months maybe more. By deeper Im referring to the sleep hypnosis. I avoided it for years because I know how powerful people say it is. But I got to a point where I needed more then what I was getting from everything else. And so I listened to one.. that lead to doing the induction and a number of other ones. The past week or more I've listened to quite a bit.
Ive recently blocked all means of P on phone and laptop. But i found it on youtube. And it didnt stop me fantasizing. Somehow my housemates panties turned up in my washing this morning. Later in the day i tried them on. I pretended i was a female. I then shaved the bottom half of my body. Filmed myself (dont want to talk about what i filmed) and re-watched it in replacement of P. Now I sit here disgusted. What the fuck did i do? What the fuck is wrong with me?
Its become clearer in the last week this is all about escapism. But it isnt about escaping from a moment in time, its about escaping from me, my personality, my life and reality. Its about destroying me, and creating a pathetically weak alter personality who is happy to degrade themself. Its exciting though, to leave everything about me behind. It sells it in a really optimistically seductive way to leave the real me behind and forget about all my troubles. Theres a lot I dont like about myself and it preys on that. I probably am bi, always have been; fine Ive been working that out for a long time. But I want my masculinity. I dont want to degrade myself in a dream.
It would be great to hear other peoples accounts with this. Feeling really low on myself. How have you left it behind? What worked well? Is there reversal hypnosis? even just some support.. be good to feel not so fucked up as Im feeling right now.
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