Help with an exclusive fetish

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ewartie, Dec 19, 2018.

  1. ewartie

    ewartie Fapstronaut

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    Okay.... so here goes...
    This is literally my first time talking about this.

    I am a 23 year old straight virgin male and since a young age I have had a spandex (under armour, running tights etc.) / sports gear (football & rugby jerseys, tight fitting running tops etc.) fetish.
    I have only ever looked at porn/ photos that included sports gear and have no attraction to girls whatsoever unless they were wearing spandex/ sports gear. I have even found myself jacking off to guys in gear, mostly because porn including gear is hard to come by and normally has male actors.

    To make matters worse I also have a masturbation addition (currently around 3 times per day). This will be to any photo or video with someone wearing sports gear, male or female.

    This addiction and exclusive fetish has caused me to develop a fear of not performing in a sexual situation, has destroyed my self esteem, and caused me to think things that probably aren't even true (that I have a small penis, horrible body etc.). Long story short, I have avoided sex for 23 years.

    I want to do two things:
    Reboot
    and
    Develop a "normal" sexual preference for women, rather than sports gear.

    I thought this warranted a post because I feel like I have two battles to win here and I have no idea where to begin.
    Should I start trying to masturbate to "normal" porn to try and "deprogram" the fetish? Or should I "wean" myself off it before stopping completely? eg. go to 2 per day to once per day, to once every few days etc.

    Sorry for the mess of a post, this is a big thing for me and I don't really have my thoughts straight at the minute.
     
  2. Clean Willy

    Clean Willy Fapstronaut

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    This "young age", was that before you started jerking to porn? Do you know why it became a sexual trigger so young?
     
  3. ewartie

    ewartie Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply
    I believe around 8 I knew I liked the feel of those materials
    Nothing sexual until I was older, but when I started masturbating I was always thinking of the materials or wearing them
    I can't remember why unfortunately but for me its always been that way
     
  4. Clean Willy

    Clean Willy Fapstronaut

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    I am not an expert, but I have read many times on these forums that fetishes that arise from porn can be defeated by the nofap challenge. However, when something starts at a very young age and is in place before porn comes along, then it is unlikely to change.

    My advice would be to stop all masturbation and porn immediately - allow several months to reboot (e.g. 3-6 months) and reassess your situation. If your fetish remains and it is troublesome to you or it is likely to be, you could consider some kind of therapy with a sexologist I suppose.
     
  5. ewartie

    ewartie Fapstronaut

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    What happens after 6 months? Do I stop P/M forever?
     
  6. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    Hi,
    a reboot, with no edging or pmo or fantasizing, could be very helpful.
    I have a theory that it's probably the first exposure we get at young age, of noticing sexuality, that and the material worn against the skin might be stimulating so arousal becomes wired to that.. rebooting for 90+ days going into flatline and then reconnecting

    I have a similar fetish and I have had great success reducing it with reboots (Though edging and fantasizing have made it linger which is why I suggest a reboot that includes no fantasizing and /or edging.

    are you familiar with Yourbrainonporn.com? It has a lot of interesting posts about

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/is-my-fetish-porn-induced/

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ybo...d-the-brain/are-sexual-tastes-immutable-2012/

    Guy who's lifelong fetish faded after a reboot.
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...iction-and-fantasy-almost-nil-after-35-years/
     
  7. ewartie

    ewartie Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for this, it is very reassuring.
    I would say your theory is probably correct, thinking back when I was around 11/12 I was playing a lot of contact sports and was probably never out of silky football tops and skin tight under armour shirts, it probably had a big impact.

    The issue for me will be fantasising,it is extremely hard to avoid sports gear and spandex like materials in every day life, never mind the fact that I attend the gym where I will be wearing these materials.

    I'm trying a reboot at the minute, what do you mean by "flatline then reconnecting"?

    Thanks again
     
  8. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    there are probably materials that are less triggering that you can wear- I have a similar issue (which is why I know so much about this :) ) and find I can find alternatives that don't arouse me. And sometimes, the ones that do, if i am in a work out mind set and just use them for that, I don't get aroused...

    flatline is what many Nofappers experience when they abstain from PMO they sort of lose interest in sex and don't get aroused by anything - some people get worried but there's nothing to worry about its just your body healing itself....
     
  9. Fabian7

    Fabian7 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah porn does some messed up things right? Mines incest porn. So hard to break but day 28 and It’s starting to loose
     

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