Help With Compulsive Urges

Hello everyone, I recently had what may be a very important breakthrough in my struggle to deal with compulsive sexual/porn thoughts.
Some background, I got into P. a very long time ago and it got progressively weirder until I found myself watching "sissy hypnosis" videos (if you don't know what that is, do yourself a favor and don't find out). After attempting for almost the last four years to suppress these urges, and finding them not diminishing in intensity over time (even very long periods of time, 9 months or more) I have found out a bit of psychological research that very helpfully explains why I was failing (I think).
Psychologists call it the "rebound effect," where thoughts that you attempt to suppress become more easily accessible to the mind, not less. The harder you try to force your mind away from the topic, the more powerfully that topic will invade your mind.

The suggested solutions to combat this effect are equally paradoxical, and I very much didn't want to accept them as valid at first.
They suggest that in order to deal with unwanted thoughts and urges, you stop suppressing them. I want to be clear that this is not the same as just giving in to the urges, but instead allow the urges to come into your mind without trying to force them out. Don't act on them, and maybe talk about them to someone you trust (I tell God about them).
The analogy that came to my mind was of bottling up, if you keep pressing more and more of these thoughts down into a bottle it's going to leak out of the seals.
What I mean is, for myself; even when I was suppressing every thought I could and avoiding P. and M. for months on end, I would wind up dreaming about looking up the same P. I was trying to avoid, or experiencing it. The dreams didn't stop until I found myself M. half asleep compulsively.

What I'm saying is, while trying to suppress my urges they were bleeding out into my subconscious and gradually escalating out into my actions. So what I am going to try to do now is stop suppressing, let the thoughts come out to my mind, express them (verbally or in writing), and then let them go. If this proves successful, I will let you know; but I will say that confessing all of this out loud to God rather than trying to bury it paradoxically led to a decrease in spontaneous compulsive thoughts tonight. It seems to be working, and I felt like I should try to let you guys know so you can try it if you aren't having success with other methods.
I hope this helps you, and God bless you.

 

I don't know if this has been a terrible idea or if I just haven't seen it through. I started admitting to what I was feeling, and I ended up admitting to wanting to do everything I was trying not to do; and then I did it.
I felt immediately shameful as soon as I O'd, but not long later I was doing it all again. I need a miracle. If I'm suppressing these urges they fill up my subconscious, and if I'm not I wind up giving in to the urges. I have at the very least admitted that the desires are coming from inside, and not outside; but then I feel like a hypocrite trying to act like I don't want to do them. It starts to seem pointless to resist, like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not.
I keep getting the feeling that I will never be free from this if I keep lying to myself about it, but when I stop I always end up in the thick of it. I'm scared, because admitting the truth feels like admitting defeat. I'm hoping for God to help me, because I know that he doesn't want this for me; but I also know that he wants me to be truthful with him and myself, because no lie is of God. God I hope there's a light at the end of this tunnel. Sorry for being morose, God bless you.