Help with the process,

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Toucan99, Jun 6, 2020.

  1. Toucan99

    Toucan99 Fapstronaut

    I have had multiple opportunities to engage in sexual intercourse with a women recently, and find myself not in the mood or wanting to engage in sex or sex acts for fear of dissappointing my partner due to my PIED. I’ve heard attempting to have sex and giving oral can help rewire you, and stray away from porn. I want to have sex with these women, but fear that I will be unable to after negative past experiences with PIED.
  2. Hydrodamalis

    Hydrodamalis Fapstronaut

    Disclaimer: I have very, very little sexual experience. But this is some advice I thought could help. So hopefully someone with more direct experience can confirm what I've written, or give much better advice!

    First and foremost, stay on the No Porn track. If you feel PIED is your problem, then completely discarding porn usage is a must to fix your body.

    Don't put pressure on yourself to perform like a pornstar. Forget about the sexual acts and stunts you might have seen in porn videos. Real sex doesn't need to be like that. The actions in pornography are exaggerated and shocking on purpose. Real sex will be personal, intimate, and caring if you do it with someone who feels the same way about it.

    Go slowly with your partner. The next time you're intimate, suggest a long make-out session instead of jumping into sex before your body is ready. Maybe some women only want quick action, but I'm sure there are others who will get a lot of enjoyment from extended foreplay. Find ways to please your woman without needing your dick functioning at 100% right away.

    Find partners who are understanding of your needs, both physically and emotionally. I doubt one-night stands and such are the best environment for people with PIED re-entering the sexual world. And don't feel bad if you try sex with a woman and you don't work out for each other. But if that happens, don't let her reactions put you down. It's one failed attempt out of both of your lives, just move on after. But the right women for you will be the ones who understand where you're coming from and respect what you need from the encounter too. Contrary to what porn shows us, the man in a sexual act is not just some piece of meat to stick in a hole. You have needs too, so stick up for yourself. If you're honest with your potential partners, the ones who treat you properly will be the right ones to continue with. It's a two way street. You can't expect everything from her, and she can't expect everything from you. Work together, and that "beautiful music" will be made together ;)

    By the way, I'll say you're quite lucky to be in such a position. I'm still a long ways off from getting such opportunities. Good luck to you!

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