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Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by CleverUsername_Taken, Oct 12, 2017.

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  1. Oct 12, 2017 #1
    CleverUsername_Taken

    CleverUsername_Taken Fapstronaut

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    I'm trying everything, but an accountability partner is something I struggle with, partly because I don't want to bother anyone/ am embarrassed. I don't know what to do anymore. I want more self-control. I've bought self-improvement books, but haven't gotten around to reading them. Right after I relapse, I feel disgusting and wonder why I did in the first place. Sometimes I just ask: why God? (Kinda rambling but I'm just writing down all of my thoughts and emotions). This addiction is unhealthy to my mental health and sexual purity (though as of now I don't think I'm pure at all). My head physically hurts after PMO, and I don't know why the urges keep coming and I keep giving in. My longest streak was maybe 18 and during that time I've meditated, taken cold showers, installed K9 web protection. I don't want to become perverted and I don't want this to follow me with age. I feel so alone, like no one will help, though I have people who will. I wasn't aware that porn was bad when I was younger and friends introduced me to it. I use to binge watch every day I didn't have school and now I have this horrid addiction. I don't want to be this person, but it's hard not to be. I've wasted so much time on this and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I feel like with all the many problems in the world, how dare I be one to myself. This is me going off on a tangent, but I just need a long hug and some consoling; I feel like trash. SO this is my plea for help, please.
     
    CleverUsername_Taken, Oct 12, 2017
    CleverUsername_Taken, Oct 12, 2017
    #1
  2. Oct 12, 2017 #2
    Randomphilia

    Randomphilia Fapstronaut

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    It would seem you're going through a rough patch right now OP. I think it'd be best for you to relax. Chill out a little for a sec. Some of those on the website are going through rough times similar to you. Just continue to stay active on the site and you'll find people sympathetic to your plight.

    If you feel that you're going through serious depression I'd suggest you start seeking professional help. I'm only suggesting this cause from your long post it would seem that you're in a really bad spot.

    Anyways remember that relapsing isn't the end of the world. Just because you keep falling doesnt mean that you're gonna be a PMO junkie forever. Just keep getting back up, learn from your mistakes and move on.

    I do hope that you do get out of this slump you've been feeling. Stay strong, OP.
     
    Randomphilia, Oct 12, 2017
    Randomphilia, Oct 12, 2017
    #2
  3. Oct 12, 2017 #3
    Lifelover78

    Lifelover78 Fapstronaut

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    dont give up
     
    Lifelover78, Oct 12, 2017
    Lifelover78, Oct 12, 2017
    #3
  4. Oct 15, 2017 #4
    mission007

    mission007 Fapstronaut

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    Don't give up man ,I myself is going through the same thing but I told myself I would let that be my weakness, that is why I'm here again on fap because I left for a while because I wasn't really getting the ans to the change or seriousness I was looking for but what I later notice that change is very hard and it need a lot of convincing,that one need not to worry about it when our subconscious keep asking us the same question are we ready or not because it is a process that lead to greater change and balance in our life.
     
    mission007, Oct 15, 2017
    mission007, Oct 15, 2017
    #4

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