Helppp I new and need help

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by heyineedhelp, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. heyineedhelp

    heyineedhelp New Fapstronaut

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    I'll sum up my story . My older sibling introduced me to hentai when I was small. It was funny to see girls do those things . I didn't understand . Later I became addicted and understood. Then I left it . For many years I didnt even think about it. One day I remembered and I started watching , I got a very hurtful headache and didnt watch anymore for quite some long time. Then one day I was scrolling instagram and some sexualised images appeared. I tried to report those pictures but they kept appearing. It was a useless fight. All those sexualisation in music, movies, everywhere. However it didnt bother me. Then one day I was very scared of my own intrusive thoughts of harming my own family. I was in panic. I was so anxious. I to start masturbating in order to forget my intrusive thoughts. Bigggg mistake. I regreted it but then I became addicted . And Im still a teenager. The funny thing is (its shameful but ) that one day I was soooo desperate I watched a video of spiders fucking a girl and spiders are my phobia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At this point I thought I'm doomed to go and burn in hell.

    I just masturbated and after that I am writing this because I really want to stop being addicted. I tried reading a book , doing things to forget but it didnt work...!

    What do you advice? I really need advice cause internet hasnt been helping . I neeed heeeeeeeelp.
     
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! I'm glad you're here.

    This site is the best help I can offer. I advise you to take time and explore this site. Learn and gain insight and begin to make a plan for yourself. Keep coming back!
     
  3. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain after physical injury. Plus it is generally a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body.

    You gotta make sure it is proper mindfulness meditation though. "Mindfulness" meditation where we just focus on breath is more like a concentration meditation instead. It works too but differently and not as powerfully in my experience. Real mindfulness meditation however trains you to accept your urges by understanding the nature of them by observing them, not just suppress them by concentrating on something else instead. It makes you comfortable with them. And once you accept and become comfortable with them there is no need to get rid of them, so there is no need to PMO. Only reason why we PMO is because that urge, that itch in our crotch is uncomfortable, we wanna get rid of it. And then after PMO we have our release. Or we simply want pleasure. And inability to have that pleasure makes us uncomfortable. But if we accept that we can not have pleasure then resistance is gone and there is no reason to PMO.

    Acceptance and mindfulness is the key. Check out this Ted talk on acceptance and mindfulness practice, it gives a good idea of what's it's about when it comes to philosophy. The mindfulness practice as described by psychologist in a the video can be used by itself but ideally should be used as supplementation to your daily sitting meditation. Sitting meditation I personally practice and recommend to people is as explained by meditation expert in this YouTube playlist. If you don't like the monk or want other method there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
  4. Scott93

    Scott93 Fapstronaut

    Hentai takes it to same insane places. Same deal with me, being an anime watcher, it always shows in my IG and it sets me off. All we can do is click "show less of this material" and not be suprised when we still see it after all our efforts. If you figure out how to cut it out, holla me haha goodluck
     
  5. goodnice

    goodnice Fapstronaut

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    You aren’t going to burn in hell. With the support of this community, you can overcome. It’s possible, and it will take much learning and changing and failures, but for now try reading some of the success stories and get some advice there
     
    All_384 likes this.

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