Here it goes...

Hello, I'm completely new to this idea and community. I'm a 23 yo married college student. I've struggled with PM since my mid teens. I experienced what was similar to "monk mode" for almost two years. That was one of the best times of my life. I was learning so much about myself during that time, I was confident, I felt spiritual, I genuinely miss that time.

Eventually I got back into old habits, and I naively thought that when I got married and started having sex that I would no longer need/want PM. Unfortunately this wasn't the case. I feel overwhelmed by compulsive cravings. If I can make it a WEEK without PM I consider myself lucky. The cravings are too strong. I'm hoping I can come here for support.

Sadly, my wife doesn't know about my struggles and I don't feel like we are in a place in our relationship where I can tell her. I'm ashamed of my struggles and I feel guilty for keeping it a secret to my friends and family. I've been trying on my own to stop for so long and its discouraging to not see any progress. I'm ready for something new and I'm ready to kick PM out of my life for holding me back!!