Here's what I'd do for you as an AP

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Ongoingsupport, Dec 23, 2017.

  1. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    It's a little weird seeing these posts, because in the in person recovery world where people show up at meetings the person who is looking for a sponsor or mentor approaches someone they think has the experience instead of putting an ad out. In other words the guy that wants one asks, here I'm OFFERING.

    Of course I understand this is more of a "fellow traveler" model, and I'm willing to spend a good amount of time supporting you if you're serious.

    While you decide how you want it, this is the MAXIMUM I'd be willing to do. I couldn't do this for a lot of people because it does take time so first come first serve!

    1. I would be willing to check in with you by VOICE as often as every day, 15 minutes. I personally think this makes it more real. Lower versions might be real time chat, and lowest is email/offline messaging.
    2. I will check with you on SPECIFIC goals and things you set to accomplish each day. I have outlined some of these in my own journal, the link is in my signature.
    3. In ADDITION to #1 I will make time as much as possible if you really have a specially stressful situation. This is basically emergency support, NOT a regular thing - that's covered in #1. Along with that is helping you brainstorm/come up with ideas to neutralize the situation, de-stress etc.
    4. Confidentiality: You have my word that nothing shared with me would ever be shared with anyone else, even in a general way without mentioning names. (including username aliases)
    5. I will help you strategize to come up with a PLAN aside from just "don't do it for X days" and just say "hey" each day - that's ridiculous to me and we need more than that and a handful of ideas to distract ourselves and cross our fingers.
    So that's it, all of the goals are things you set for yourself, I'm just going to remind you and check to see if you're doing them. We can try it for a while, but to start with we should at least commit to a trial period like two weeks or something.

    Oh, and you don't have to be my AP if you are not ready to do that - I can just do this for you and we can re-assess after a couple of weeks or so.

    One little requirement to make sure it's someone serious: Already have at least 12 posts, and not like two word replies. I want to know it's someone serious and into this community and not just doing it on a whim.
     
  2. Are you retired? I see you everywhere with very helpful responses. Why isn’t anyone taking you on your offer!?!?!!

    Have you beat this addiction already? You don’t have any other ap to watch over? I may want this...
     
  3. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    Feel free to pm me, I work but since coming back I've been posting a lot in a short amount of time. I've been able to go for months before but never really focused on developing a plan and not just something simple and off and running without thinking about it again, but continual evaluation.
     
  4. A.saad

    A.saad Fapstronaut

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    Hi man. This sounds great. You're very meticulous. I'm in and I'll do the same for you. My telegram is in the signature.
    Cheers.
     
    Ongoingsupport likes this.
  5. R1990

    R1990 New Fapstronaut

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    This all sounds great. Knowing you put so much into this would make me want to put in an equal amount of effort. I'm hoping to find an AP who is 1) LGBTQ friendly and 2) willing to work with me strictly on porn as I'm in a relationship and will likely continue having sex.
     
    CanineOrc likes this.
  6. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    Neither of those are a problem for me, however since community is so important I would like to see you participate on the forum more. I do not believe APs stand apart from the community at large, both levels are important.
     
  7. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    Ok I'll have to get on Telegram, I think one other person who contacted me mentioned it..
     
  8. R1990

    R1990 New Fapstronaut

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    Of course. New here and haven't totally explored any of the tools yet. Rather, I have a shallow amount of experience with a variety of them.
     
  9. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    If you can get into conversing with various people it will help you become more enthusiastic about it, get interested in it and you'll naturally want to try various tools and tips I think. Welcome.
     
  10. @R1990 welcome! I just started participating around the forums more, reading success stories and writing threads to get questions answered. It's nice getting feed back on something that not too many people understand, but fortunately, this forum is a concentrate of answers and opinions for people like us. I'm sure you will get acclimated soon, just look around threads and post whatever you feel like, but keep it nice and friendly of course :)
     
  11. hexotl

    hexotl Fapstronaut

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    Hey,

    I am also interested in becoming your accountability partner. But given that you have also received a couple of requests already, I would also understand if you decline, no worries.

    To be fair, I already have one accountability partner, but I noticed how talking helps me. And for me consistency in talking and being accountable is very important, that's why I am also interested in your offer :) Of course, it would not be a one way street, I would do the same for you.

    In case, you're interested I'd pm you my telegram (yup, it's popular :p).

    Best,
    hexotl
     
  12. ExPiggy

    ExPiggy New Fapstronaut

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    Hello there! I am brand new and do not meet your requirement, but have for a very long time been attempting to quit a form of pornography called financial domination. It's detrimental to my mental health and I'm very serious about leaving this behind. One of the strategies I haven't tried yet is having an accountability partner, because honestly, I don't know who I would go to for something like that and this site provides a wonderful resource to find someone who can partner up with you on that and move on. So, if you're willing, I'd love to talk with you more on it man, I really need some help.

    Thanks,
    expiggy
     
  13. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    Okay you guys, one other thing we can do is small groups - I'm already in one and aside from a one on one connection I think it can be very helpful. Also there is no reason why you cannot have more than one AP but I do recommend scheduled times to connect so it's regular and not left to chance.

    I have an in person support group tonight and am just about to leave for work so it'll be hard to connect but I suggest you think about how often you want to connect (say, Monday Wednesday Fri and Sunday, via Skype etc.) and how to start with, and by all means dig into the site, reply to peoples posts and converse.
     
  14. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    Hey guys, sorry been busy with work but will start connecting this weekend. I went to sign up on Telegram on the web but I need to do it on my phone first, I probably need to install and remove then just use the web version after that. Lets think about times we can connect and how frequent you would like to check in. As I said I think voice is good, but real time text chat is okay too.
     
  15. Telegram messenger?
     
  16. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    I still need to install it, but like I said I can already do WhatsApp. I do need a specific time though.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. Nice, wanna pm your WhatsApp number? Wanna speak 530pm? Or when is good for you?
     
  18. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    I thought I did? I'll double check but 5:30 should be fine - just a quick check in.
     
  19. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    I just got set up on Telegram, my name is the same as here.
     
    hexotl likes this.

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