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Hey, 21 y/o newbie here :)

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by fitfatness, Nov 12, 2018.

  1. fitfatness

    fitfatness New Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I'm 21 and a Christian. I've been having this porn addiction of mine for many years now, probably ever since I was a teenager.

    I've wasted so much of my life watching porn and searching for that "right" porn video. I've tried to get rid of my addiction several times but I have always relapsed, causing me to feel so much shame and guilt every single time. Often, sexual thoughts and fantasies cloud my mind and I can't help but objectify women around me that I find attractive; some of them being close friends of mine. I want to be able to go about my day, not feeling this guilt and shame within me.

    I've decided to take this extra step because now I have something else motivating me to. I just got into my first relationship, and it's with this amazing girl I absolutely adore. Now, being Christian, we don't believe in premarital sex. I realize that every time I watch porn or fantasize about women, or even fantasize about my girlfriend; I'm not just letting myself down, I'm letting her down. I would feel like I betrayed her.

    I don't want to objectify her, I don't want to fantasize about her. I want to love her for who she is, and I really do, but sometimes I get these moments of weakness and I fall into temptation. So, here's to Day 1 of my journey...
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Man08

    Man08 Fapstronaut

    Hello! I've been there, I was in love with this wonderful and amazing girl, she was everything I could ever wish for.. We had plans to get together... but you know, I was so absorbed by pornography... things changed... I told her that she should go on with her life without me... imagine, for three years I kept on telling her the same words.... until, finally.. we broke up.. man, that was the saddest day of my life.. I tell you from my own experience, I am christian too, don't give up, never give up... take my story as a lesson, something that you should never experience.. I know about those moments of weakness.... I got tricked so many times.. my mind, the biggest joker.. Are you aware of how your mind is tricking you to fall back into that addiction? It helps a lot knowing how your mind is tricking you! I wish you all the best on this journey of true freedom and true peace!

    I've been there, had this wonderful and amazing girl, remember my words when temptations comes!
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2018
  3. fitfatness

    fitfatness New Fapstronaut

    Thanks so much for the support and advice. It sucks to hear that things didn't work out between you and that girl you mentioned, I'm sure she was amazing and I hope you find someone else one day and not make the same mistake. I'll do my best to remember your words and to learn from what you've told me. Today, my girlfriend was going through a hard time and I decided to surprise her by driving to her home and getting her ice cream. I wanted to just be there for her, and maybe just stay silent and study with her. We ended up hugging and crying and talking things out for about an hour and a half, and spent another hour and a half just sitting next to each other and holding each other. I've never felt so secure, and the fact that I was actively trying to PMO, and had not PMO made me feel better as there was no guilt or shame in me. I don't know why but I feel like this time will be different from all the past times I've tried stopping PMO; I've always had the "why bother trying, I'm going to fail anyway" thought, but I don't have that this time. I'm optimistic but I want to manage my expectations. Thanks once again for the words of encouragement.

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