Hey guys, new to here.

Hello, I am new to this nofap forum and I wish to share you my story a little bit.

Here I am,

Firstly, I'll be sorry for any probable error I can do while writing as I am not a native english speaker.

I was first introduced to pornography sounded materials at the age of 14, at secondary school. I had so many toxic friends, relatives that shared me their sexual experiences pridefully, but I was not very much interested in those things as I was a succes in school and well-known by anyone at school. I had no problems with girls, they were interested in me too much but truth is, I was not that kind of boy to spend time with girls, I was just in the most productive session of my life.

I was just watching mild stuff that you can find on some free channels, and had my first MO at those times I first met those channels. It lasted two years without P, but at high school my dad had bought me my first device and met with pornography at the age of 16 which was a start of a wild addiction that would never end from that day onwards to present moment. My taste of pornography was very normal at the very beginning, and it took me five years ,adding two years previously I have mentioned, to met with the disgusting categories such zooporn, cuckoldry, cheating etc. The first one was zooporn, If I had been shown it before I would have just said that it was disgusting, yet, it seemed quite normal to me at the that level. Just normal...

And my sexual indentity has started to deteriorate from then on, I was jumping from category to category. To note, the only category I have not been indulged in is Gay porn. It has always seemed disgusting to me, never watched any type of it. The categories I mentioned above I think the mildest ones, maybe some of you will understand what I mean by this.

Back to the story, I have developed an obsessive personality on every simple thing, the worst of all is, I have always thinked out to be serial killer in my recent year, I had a girlfriend but was afraid to talk to her about my state and just told her that I was a drug addict. It was a lil bit because of my culture that I felt suppressed to talk about this. Yeah, this is the truth. My thoughts on becoming a serial killer was getting to seem normal to me, I was using my imaginary world which involved killing girls that I knew to make myself sleep. It was, you know, giving pleasure to me. But, when back to the history, I was a mosque boy the mildest that you can ever come across. Proportional to pornography addiction my being succesful in every aspects of life has disappeared.

Yeah, Now I am at the rock bottom and I am 22 having so many dreams to make true. Do you believe that I was a dreamer of being a NASA astronaut? Ha ha, sounds nonsense even to me right now.

Today, I am starting a new streak after a long time. And the reason is just to better my mental stability and have a spiritual balance which I have never had for past ten years especially my years at college .

Hoping for your remarks and encouragements. Thanks for reading.

 

Thanks yeah, I registered but active recently for the first time.

 

I am grateful to you for making guidance, thank you a lot.