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Hey NoFappers, this is my 20th day.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by APCIA, Aug 2, 2014.

  1. Aug 2, 2014 #1
    APCIA

    APCIA Fapstronaut

    96
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    Hey everyone , this is my first post here.

    I've taken on the nofap challange, without limit to time. could be 30 days, could be 90 could be a year. whatever I need to reboot my brain. Also, hard mode is enabled.

    It's like on one hand I have good perception about relationships, I'm trying to be a loving man and I have patience to actually communicate with women to make meaningful relationships and not just fap.

    On the other hand I'm very much obsessed with women in general. can't stop thinking about them everyone minute of the day. And when I can't find a real lady, which is 90% of the time I fap. I'd limit my fapping to about once a day in the past. But now it's time to stop it.

    I must stop lusting for girls in general, that's why I'm on hard mode. Even though a real relationship is something I want, I've been obsessing about the idea for so much that it derails of me anything else that I try to accomplish in life. and because that happens I can't find a girl either.

    It's like at this point in life girls are just a very big distraction that ends in frustration. I hope this will change in the future

    A
     
    APCIA, Aug 2, 2014
    APCIA, Aug 2, 2014
    #1
  2. Aug 2, 2014 #2
    anprapture

    anprapture Fapstronaut

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    Yep, that all sounds very much along the lines of what I'm dealing with. I feel like until this gets resolved nothing else I do has much meaning or a point. I grew up being very talented but anymore I can't focus enough to make any meaningful headway in goals and career. My obsession with sex and women overshadows everything else. I can't focus on things. I remember when I was 13 before sex entered the picture for me. I had no expectations to live up to, of what I should be to women and what women should be to me. I didn't seek women. That felt like heaven compared to what I live with now. I could tackle anything that peaked my curiosity.

    I just joined today and spent the past several hours watching the vids and reading posts. It all has me feeling pretty charged right now. Yesterday I fapped to orgasm enough times that I lost count. That must mean there's a little ocd in the picture. It happens once a day usually. I've acknowledged to myself many times that it's something I'd rather not do. Failing to take it out of the picture for so long has eroded my faith in myself to follow thru and accomplish goals. There's a very strong lack of self esteem/respect that has grown from this. This isn't the case with everyone watching porn and fapping. However it's how it's effected me. I think I have an idea for a routine to put into place. I can imagine myself getting a lot of momentum from following through with this.
     
    anprapture, Aug 2, 2014
    anprapture, Aug 2, 2014
    #2
  3. Aug 2, 2014 #3
    APCIA

    APCIA Fapstronaut

    96
    1
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    nice!
    lets do this :)
     
    APCIA, Aug 2, 2014
    APCIA, Aug 2, 2014
    #3

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