Hi guys, NEED HELP PLEASE :( Im really worried

Hi guys, Thanks for coming by, I really need some help, maybe some words of advice if You have any or just a push in my back that it'll be fine the way i'll manage it (described below) Hope You can read through it, I wish You a great life, love You <3

Im 20, Im healthy, fit, have a nice diet, exercise a lot, generally not in a bad place

But I have some erection problems, I was examined by doc, physically Im fine, T levels 970 ng/dl, everything should be fine, so he sent me to psychiatrist, who told me that Im generally anxious and stressed and that may be the case - Im starting therapy in 2 weeks

2 Weeks ago I tried having sex for the 1st time, did no thappen, I trust this girl a lot, she is extremaly supportive, I told her everything (therapy etc), We tried a couple of times more, I was able to penetrate but it quickly got soft or like semi, not as hard as it should, generally it wasnt good sex

It goes like this:

We start cuddling etc - I feel it's hard and good - we go further - I feel like a semi instead and either lose it quickly or it stays semi erection and gets weaker over time, when she gets me off its better tho

Then we cuddle again and again feel bigger movement but I also get worried and anxious about it. Basically the only thing that pops into my mind is:


"WILL IT BE HARD THIS TIME?"
And after few trials and fails per night Im not even able to move it Im so nervous... We've had 3 nights together, 1st wasn't able to penetrate and the other 2 I was able but yea, semi erection or weakening quickly - slight progress, but its far from enough

I've had some streaks longer/shorter since January this year (2 weeks/30days/75 the most) of no PMO and then eventually MO'ed by myself to thoughts (nothing related to P, about girls I know in really soft scenarios of kissing cuddling etc). When I was younger I used to do that almost everyday, usually 2-3 times a day, and stopped in January. I don't have urges, Im fine with abstaining, never came back to P and dont miss it at all, so i kinda feel like it's ok regarding that.

I've started suplementing cytruline and before I used tadalafil (yea with his girl as well, did no help i guess), now i also got sildenafil (all those things recommended by doctors) and started Wim Hof's method to manage stress and my anxiety, which I wasn't really aware of.

We won't see each other for 3 weaks or sth, I decided not to MO as well (its easy for me, im fine with abstaining) so when we try again I'll be like 20-30 days without MO (I know it's not long, but i've had some streaks before, so I belive it was kinda benefitial in some way) and year without P

MY QUESTION IS:

Do You guys think that I should keep trying to have sex with her and have as much closeness as posibble to REWIRE? Do You think that all those things combined together (rewiring/the fact that she is really close to me and I care about her and she cares about me/ my healthy lifestyle/ therapy/ meds/ the fact that I've been off porn for almost a year now)
Are the way to go?

IS IT A PATH TO A HEALTHY SEXUAL RELATION WITH A GIRL I LOVE?


If You have some additional questions feel free to ask me, Im willing to do/say anything to make it work


Thank You all for reading and replying and trying to help, Im kinda lost in my head and feel worried and sometimes hopeless... Love You guys

 

To make some things clear:

-Tadalafil 10mg/20mg did not work
-Sildenafil does help, I use it on regular basis, it actually enabled me to have sex the way we like to have it
-Consult with specialists guys, even if it's just in our heads there are more things into it than just PIED (Im talking anxiety, stress, low self esteem numberous fails or worries)

I don't know about You, but I've spent almost a year worrying that it won't work BEFORE I EVEN GOT A CHANCE TO TRY - so there's nothing surprising that it didn't even with tadalafil (but medecine must be well picked for u)

I attend therapy and have contol check ups with my psychiatrist, I'll make some updates from time to time,I will see him next week to tell him that sildenafil did the job and we will consider our next steps

Be strong guys, search for help, it won't just come with abstaining from P or M (although it's ofc crucial, I abstain from both of them), but You gotta do more to get closer to Your goals, I haven't achieved them yet, but I really belive that we gotta be 100% in and try everything there is to try to make it better