Hi guys

Aknaw

New Fapstronaut
Hi guys

Like the title says, that's how I would describe myself.
I never did anything, no club, no medal, no sport. I used to stay home watch TV with my mom and sister, while my classmates and younger brother were socializing.

I always told myself, that " I'll be social when I'm older." (Until I was 9, I didn't beleive that "friends" existed, I thought it was another TV lie like; Trick or Treat (which is quite uncommon in France). Now, I'm 20, I dropped out of my expensive art-school, two years in a row. I live in my mom's addic smoking weed and disapointing my loved one on a daily basis. And guess what, I'm STILL unable to communicate.

I can't tell you with words how much I hate myself, because I fear that If I spend to much time on this post I'll get bored and never finish it.

The thing is, I still what to change, I did a lot of introspection in my moms addic. And I think I realise that changing is possible, since then I can only think of changing; working out, socializing, I'm to Lazy to work on my art.

I just can't go on like this anymore

Every morning, I wake up, I think : " To day, is the day I start doing stuff" but before the motivation leaves me, I fap. And go back to bed until early noon, smoke weed go back to bed.

I did a NoFap challenge earlier this year: And result were satisfying but I broke about 2 weeks in when I was aiming for 100days.

That's why I'm here, I want to do my best but I won't let myself getting close to do that.


Thanks for your attention, have a good day
 
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