Hey, I'm gunshot or at least that's what i'm going by in this community. My story is I met this girl in school who was amazing and I'm lucky to say that she's with me now, but before we were dating I experienced multiple deaths in my family and because of stress and stuff like that I fell into watching porn like stuff, its not exactly naked women but I would masturbate to the stuff and worst part was there are hundreds of videos on stuff like it on YouTube. Now I'm with my girl and life's been so much better, but I've got this huge problem with the fetish so that's why I'm here. She doesn't know about my fetish and I'm to afraid of loosing her to it and telling her, I'm really just trying to be a better boyfriend. The fetish really makes me feel like a freak and I know its out of my control as what i see as sexual but its out of control now. ever since i was younger i would masturbate but I didn't think it would be this big of a problem as it is now. Right now I'm trying to take small steps and just trying to lower my trigger by avoiding porn for now.