Hi I'm new and want to make a change!

I everyone! I just joined, so sorry if anything sounds weird. I've never used a forum thing like this before.

I'm 21 and I've been using porn for like awhile on and off, I can't actually really remember when it started, but throughout the years its literally gotten worse and worse, I think I just started noticing this year during the pandemic how bad it's gotten, especially because there's really nowhere else to go and I really had to confront my demons.

Porn has definitely wrecked my self confidence. For a long time I felt like I was twisted or something (though I now realize after reading the nofap articles that this isn't true). I'm generally a super positive, upbeat person, but I dunno, the weight of hiding this growing monster was getting so hard to carry, and I felt as if I couldn't stop it from getting bigger and like tearing me apart, until I didn't know who I was anymore. And I didn't know who I could share it with who would understand without judgment, or if anyone else had the same problems, or if I was just alone and I had to hide it forever... like *sigh*. It's such a relief to find other people! I feel so overwhelmed! I was so excited to post and get involved, so sorry if I seem overeager.

My rebooting goal is forever, but right now I'm going for 90 days! Whoop whoop! I am literally only one day in but I think I can do this!

It's nice to meet everyone.

PS. I'm not sure what else I was supposed to say, but yeah. If anyone has any tips for navigating the sight I'm all ears. I'm so confused.

 

Yeah! No that's absolutely what I meant! It's like the more you hide it, the more it controls you--it's like a complete reverse of what I thought would happen if I "kept it under wraps" and "under control." It's kind of funny now, because now that I think about it, I've never had it under control.

And it's so overwhelming to think of the day when the "monster" is smaller than me, and I'm no longer controlled by it (I mean I'm doing the challenge now, but to be further out I guess, is what I mean). It's nice to meet you btw! Thanks for your comment. I was so nervous posting.

 

Thank you so much for this advice! I literally just went and wrote a few down (I have seven so far) but I'll spend the next days thinking of more to add. So far what I have though is pretty compelling, and shows me just how much is at stake. Thank you!

 

Thank you so much! You too! Wishing you all the best!