Hi! Need some advice fast, afraid I will hurt someone!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by SorryWontSayIt, Jul 15, 2020.

  1. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Hi!

    First off, I hope I don't sound like a douch-bag while writing this. Most of my life I have been struggeling with confidence and selfestem.

    But The last couple of years, I have made huge changes in my life, to become a better person. And suddenly it feels so "easy" or at least the I attract a lot more girls/women.

    Been talking a lot to a girl on tinder and snapchat (1 month), but we have not meet in person yet. I know it will be very difficult to start a relationship with her, because I will move soon from the town, so we will only be able to meet eachother two weeks at most.

    At first I thougth it would not be possible to meet her at all, so I brougth a girl home with me after a party last friday. And I think she likes me, but I tried to make it clear, that I don't really know how I feel about her.

    Today, I have been getting texts from different girls that want to meet me at different partys. And one of the girls, I have liked a while back, and we have flirted a bit before.

    I have known the girl that I have flirted with a lot longer, and think it will be easier for something seriouse. At the same time, I think the girl from tinder seem really nice. I am afraid I will hurt someone, or be described as someone who "cheats" on one of them.

    I really need fast advice, because I may meet one of them tonigth.

    Please I need advice. A few years back, I would never imagine that girls like this would "chase" me. And I don't want to become some sort of "fuckboy" that hurts anyone. I want a relationship, but I can't decide, and I feel like I have to do it tonigth.

    Sorry if it is a bit hard to read, im in a bit of a rush.
     
  2. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Temporarily Suspended
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    Go with your gut. Whatever happens, you'll learn from it.
     
  3. Wolfgirl

    Wolfgirl Fapstronaut

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    I would say the most important thing is to be honest. If you meet someone that you like or connect with better tHan the person you are talking to/seeing it is important to tell the person that you have found someone else. In order to not be a cheater (in my eyes) you must be honest with yourself and your partner if you found someone else. If you are considering meeting this person you had talked to a while back, perhaps you should tell the tinder girl that you actually aren’t interested anymore. I personally believe that honesty is really important in these situations so that you don’t hurt someone more than necessary.
     
  4. OBY1999

    OBY1999 Fapstronaut

    Since I am younger than you and I don't have much of an experience myself. Normally I don't reply to these.
    But since you said you're in a rush I want to refer you to a book I read. The Rational Male you may have heard of it.

    This book helped and still helps men get a better perspective on a monogamous relationship and women in general.

    After reading this book I can tell you that if I were you I'd think twice before shooting for a monogamous relationship your age. Especially when you just became fuckable.
    You're just having fun and you deserve it.
     
  5. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the replys!

    It got even worse yesterday tho. A friend of mine have liked a girl for quiet some time now, but shes not interested in him. They have both made it clear that it wont become anything more then a friendship. Even tho, it became pretty clear that she likes me last nigth. She asked me how I felt about her, because I have met her a few times. I told her the trougth, but I don't want to hurt my friend. I know he is still interested in her, but that he knows that it won't happen.

    Seriously I don't understand whats going on anymore. All the sudden so many girls at once, wants something from me. I don't know how seriouse they want it to be, but at least that they are interested in me in a way or another.

    So I told the girl last nigth that I found her interesting, but don't know what to do with my friend. I told her that I needed to think about it, maybe even talk to my friend first. But she told me that it would not be a good idea.

    So the problem just got bigger, with two more people involved (a friend of mine, and a girl both of us find interesting).
     
  6. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Go out and have fun with as much girls as you like. Always be open with them to the fact that you are single and open to meet new people until you decide that you met the right girl for you to be exclusive with.
    There are going to be girls that from date one wants you all by themselves. Never agree to it, if she is not comfortable to share you with other girls in the beginning let her go. Wait after several dates witch each girl to decide if you want to be exclusive with them or not.
     
    PeterBE likes this.
  7. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    That's because you are in an abundance mentality. You are having more girls than you can handle. So you can choose witch one to date. That is going to reflect in the way you interact with them. They are going to feel that you are not trying at all to win them over, they realize you have other options... and that makes them more attracted to you.
    And you don't need to know, just go out and have fun with them. eventually they will let you know if they are after something serious or not.
    Definitively talk to your friend. For me at least it should be a no brainier. I prefer to keep a really good relationship with my close friends over the chance to date a girl. You have a lot of other girls, let this one alone.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2020
  8. OBY1999

    OBY1999 Fapstronaut


    You're like a red-pill pharmacist. Respect man.
     
  9. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Just wanted to give an update!

    The girl that kissed me, and told me that she felt a connection with me, is not an option for me anymore (my choice). She would'nt let me talk to my friend first, which is not something I would accept. I won't go behind my friends back.

    She later seemed annoyed at me, and started to hit on an other friend, whos not interested at all in her.

    Made it clear with the girl who slept over with me, that it is not going to happen more between us.

    Now there are "just two" girls, I need to find out about. The girl that I have flirted with a time ago, and are talking to again. And the tinder girl.

    Will most likely meet the girl i'v flirted with tonigth at a party.
     
  10. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Temporarily Suspended
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    hopefully you get the good ending.
     
  11. LordQuas

    LordQuas Fapstronaut

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    Actually if you are her fuckboy it means she wants to be in a relationship with you. There is nothing wrong being a fuckboy, it's great! just be honest with her.
     

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