Hi! New and needing help defining success.

P

Preclamation

New Fapstronaut
Hi everyone!

This is my first time using any forum, like ever. I guess I'm looking forward to talking to real people about rebooting.

Quick intro:
-I'm 23
-started masturbating in 8th grade / haven't really ever stopped
-got a new grip on pornography a number of years ago
-since discovering NoFap, I've had two 30 day streaks but want to go further
-one life goal is to be a writer

But what I really want to know is whether stopping purely masturbation will have the benefits I see everyone talking about.

Pornography isn't really my issue. Once a month maybe I will find myself looking at porn and then I get disgusted and click away. For years I haven't masturbated to the point of orgasm looking at porn, so I guess that's good.

When I masturbate it's because I got turned on somehow and feel like I need a release. It's all in my head and not connected to the computer. Twice now I've gotten to about 30 days and then felt the urge so strong that I masturbated... but no pornography.

Is this okay? Or should I shoot for total self-control and totally quit masturbation? Will I be the self-controlled, creative bad ass I was meant to be and hear about from success stories by quitting masturbation, or do those life changing stories only come from beating a pornography addiction?

I can't seem to find much in the forums about "masturbation only" so any help would be so appreciated.

I'm excited about where this community could take me. Thanks for taking the time to read my jumbled thoughts and questions.

-Preclamation
 
Hello!. Welcome. Firstly, congrats for joining and also thanks for that because yours and any others' posts are always an opportunity for learning.
You make very good questions here... firstly, is clear you are not hooked on porn, that is great. The fact you may watch it for a while every now and then and quit after a short time, quite disgusted is a good sign...I would not worry about that. Perfectly normal, I say (being hooked is to spend hours a day or in each session forgetting about home, family, work etc.)

masturbating because you feel the urge after some time refraining, well, I would say is OK, but if you want to quit masturbation in full, well this is a good place for that as well. (personally, I will be thankful if I can keep the urge in control, forget about porn, and masturbate now and then, after accomplishing my obligations as husband, a thing I have failed so often...

I any case, I am sure this Site will be a great learning about the human condition, friendship and support.
 
I'd say you've got to know yourself to know what's right for you (I'm Catholic, so masturbation's totally out of the question for me, but I'm not on this site to judge anyone). I will say this though: if it's an impulse you find you truly can't resist, even when you're actively trying to, that means, by definition, it's an addiction and it has power over you. So, think about whether you're comfortable having something in your life that has power over you in that manner.

There are things I'll get somewhat addicted to which are relatively harmless--TV shows, popcorn, sleeping in late--so I'm not going to say that having something in your life that would be hard to quit if you tried is an inherently bad thing; it's just something to consider. Do a little soul-searching, and figure out what you want your life to look like, and then take the necessary steps to cut out whatever you feel doesn't belong in it. Whatever you decide, we'll be here if you need us. Peace!
 
Preclamation said:
I'm excited about where this community could take me. Thanks for taking the time to read my jumbled thoughts and questions.
Click to expand...
Hey @Preclamation ,

I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

Then, watch this video:


--> L

PS -

One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

@Iron Patience - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155794/
---
@ludwig525 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155658/
---
@PatrickR - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139570/
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@GeeWhizz - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152127/
---
@Sunshadow - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/75108/
 
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