Hi! The end of the self-sabotaging era.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by bb mm dd nn, Nov 7, 2019.

  1. bb mm dd nn

    bb mm dd nn New Fapstronaut


    I’m 24 years old. I tried nofap countless times but never went longer than a week without PMO since I was 12. There have been periods where this addiction completely paralysed me. On the surface it looks like I’m doing great. I did well in school and university and got a good job now, but from time to time it gets out of control.

    I’m working from home but because of my bad habits I only manage to work around 10-20 hours per week. It doesn’t make any sense because I love what I do. I’m imagining what I could accomplish If I would apply myself fully, but I’m hijacked by all kinds of addictive stuff like social media and porn.

    I suffer from PIED and notice all the negative side effects that I’ve read on this forum. Normal sex can not satisfy me and it caused serious issues in my real life. I cheated twice on my ex-girlfriend because I wanted more and more. The guilt was unbearable so I confessed to her, we talked it over but eventually our relationship ended.

    This year I started a relationship with an exchange student, she moved back in June so it’s long distance now. I had two occasions where I could have easily cheated on her but resisted the urge. This new situation put my bad habits in overdrive. I have really had it so last week I decided to do a reboot, was super motivated and put all kinds of systems in place to make sure I would make it this time. This failed horribly and I ended up binging on porn a whole day on Tuesday. Since then I had 0 motivation for anything. Didn’t get any work done.

    I notice that masturbating drains all my energy. All the succes I had in my life were in a period that I masturbated wayyy less. It causes me severe stress. Four years ago I developed chronic back pain, stomach aches and had a bunch of very severe panic attacks which sometimes send me to the hospital. The weird thing is that I am a happy person nonetheless. I’m happy but extremely unfulfilled.

    So as you can see it’s interfering pretty badly with my life, work and relationships. It really has to end but every time so far I failed. I need to take it way more serious if I want to fix this, so thats why I finally decided to post here. I find posting things online extremely frightening even if its anonymous. But I have really had it, I don’t want my brain to be wired in this way. I’m committing fully to removing my bad habits.. For 6 years now already, this time I’m willing to do anything it takes.

    Reading the stories here motivates me. I wish you all the best and am very interested in seeing if anyone has a story similar to mine and how they improved themselves.
    Pure_Life and Deleted Account like this.
  2. GK33

    GK33 Fapstronaut


    Thanks for sharing so openly! Welcome, best of luck on your journey! I', also working from home, and so I can totally relate. You're in the right place, and we're all here to support you!

    Pure_Life likes this.
  3. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links toget you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | DayCounter| Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules |Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
  4. Pure_Life

    Pure_Life Fapstronaut

    Welcome back! I too work from home which is a blessing yes but I don't think people realize just how disciplined you have to be and how easy it is to fall into bad habits. I battle with the bottle as well which goes hand in hand with PMO but I am trying to achieve a balance there.

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