Hi there guys....

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Mariahisafapstronaut, Jul 28, 2016.

  1. Mariahisafapstronaut

    Mariahisafapstronaut Fapstronaut

    Hello nofap community!

    *hem* is this mic on? I'm nervous.
    So I am a college student gal. A year ago, in the summer, I was starting to get depressed, but I did t know it yet. And I started PMO first out of curiosity and then it just got worse and worse. As my depression deepened over the school year, PMO became one of the few times I could feel anything, and I also used it as a form of self-harm.
    But there was this one night in February. I was up later than all of my roomies in the apt studying, as usual. And then I got into some porn, until I almost watched some child porn. Absolutely horrified at the depths I had fallen to, I slammed my laptop shut. I used to be very anti-porn, back when it was simple, because it was (in my mind) only a guy's problem. But now I had become what i had pitied and reviled, and I was an addict.
    And the very next day, my now boyfriend of five months asked me on our first date! I was elated, and I rode that emotional high for months and did not PMO for four months straight. But then, we were long distance over the summer. And my depression has reached an all time low too. So I've gotten back into PMOand I hate hate hate it. I have some friends (and my bf) who knows of this problem, but I think an anonymous forum like this, which I can ALWAYS turn to, would help. Because I was under the delusion for a long time that a bf would fix my problems, but he doesn't; only I can fix my problems. Here we go!
  2. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

    Hi Maria. I think I have something to help you on PMO. Seeing as you will be busy studying during college and presumably busy! Especially if u also work. You want stress relief. Porn is just all too easy isn't it?

    There are some other ways you can direct your energy! There are also ways to cope. Find time for going to the gym/playing sports. This is a really big way to get your Adrenaline/Serotonin/Dopamine flowing naturally, just as they were meant to. It feels fantastic, you'll be healthier and look better. Also you have a boyfriend... so honestly, save yourself for the real deal, real loving meaningful sex, not perverted porn. Masturbating when you cant help it is also much better than P then MO. Depression is a direct cause of you PMOing. The sooner you stop n the better you will feel.

    good luck!
  3. Mariahisafapstronaut

    Mariahisafapstronaut Fapstronaut

    Thanks gladiatori! I definitely know exercising can help, and I'm bad about doing it so I need to start
  4. Sojourner7777

    Sojourner7777 Fapstronaut

    Welcome Mariah! You've taken a big step in the right direction just by joining here and being willing to share your struggle. I can hear by the way you're writing that you are in the right 'space' to deal decisively with PMO. It's excellent that you've shared your struggle with some of your friends, too.

    I'd encourage you to set yourself a goal, whatever length of time to feel works for you, and then start a journal here. It's really really powerful if you come here as often as you can during your 'reboot' period, and journal how you're feeling etc...there's something about writing about this stuff that helps deepen your conviction about quitting.

    Also, investing time in reading other peoples' posts and encouraging them actually winds up benefiting you as much as them.

    I'm glad you're here - all the best with your recovery.


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