Hello nofap community! *hem* is this mic on? I'm nervous. So I am a college student gal. A year ago, in the summer, I was starting to get depressed, but I did t know it yet. And I started PMO first out of curiosity and then it just got worse and worse. As my depression deepened over the school year, PMO became one of the few times I could feel anything, and I also used it as a form of self-harm. But there was this one night in February. I was up later than all of my roomies in the apt studying, as usual. And then I got into some porn, until I almost watched some child porn. Absolutely horrified at the depths I had fallen to, I slammed my laptop shut. I used to be very anti-porn, back when it was simple, because it was (in my mind) only a guy's problem. But now I had become what i had pitied and reviled, and I was an addict. And the very next day, my now boyfriend of five months asked me on our first date! I was elated, and I rode that emotional high for months and did not PMO for four months straight. But then, we were long distance over the summer. And my depression has reached an all time low too. So I've gotten back into PMOand I hate hate hate it. I have some friends (and my bf) who knows of this problem, but I think an anonymous forum like this, which I can ALWAYS turn to, would help. Because I was under the delusion for a long time that a bf would fix my problems, but he doesn't; only I can fix my problems. Here we go!