Hitting bottom, sugar babbies, escorts/financial ruin

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by johndoe117, Jul 10, 2018.

  1. johndoe117

    johndoe117 Fapstronaut

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    Beginning 3-4 months ago my sex/love addiction escalated to using "sugardating" websites to get validation from women.

    At first I only went on dates and paid for dinner or activities, what I normally do on a healthy date anyway. I would lie and create a persona for these girls that I was a wealthy IT professional.

    I met 5 of these sugar girls, and had sex with 3. It left me unsatisfied because I knew it was counterfeit affection. The fifth one made it clear that before we had sex I had to wire her a large sum of money, I had already spent a huge amount on food and drinks and the hotel suite we were in.

    During this time I felt no hesitation, no conflict. I knew that I would regret it but could not feel it.

    I spent an equivalent of 2 months total income. I woke up the next day feeling empty and depressed, but that's didn't last long when I realized I needed to increase my income or carry a credit card balance. I took a second job, worked 80 hours for three weeks before quitting the second job because I was so exhausted.

    Sometime during this period I used a phone sex line which I have used before, and in the moment I asked the operator to say she loves me. I had vocally said to her that my sexual fantasy revolves around feeling loved. I hung up and cried.

    I believe SAA would be helpful, but feel very inhibited to go.
     
    spaces likes this.
  2. James0224

    James0224 Fapstronaut

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    John, I really hope things work out and improve.

    I do not know what to say because I have not been in this situation personally. However, I think it would be great if you stay active on these forums to help with your situation.

    I think it would be a good idea to go to SAA. It could be a great place to share your thoughts with other people going through similar situations.

    Wish you all the best on getting better
     
    jedimaster, Hitto and spaces like this.
  3. jedimaster

    jedimaster Fapstronaut

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    have the courage that you will come out of this mess. remember it is you who have to take courage to make your self better first than any one else.
     
    James0224 likes this.

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