Hitting Half Century today :)

50 yo, you old fux!

Tell us more about yourself! No results for what? What's the eye contact thing..you are shy?
Welcome buddy, feel free to tell us things lots here will help you!

 

Nobody here is perfect and there is a lot to learn on here for others posts.
I definitely understand part of what you are saying, as I'm fighting social anxiety also, but I managed to greatly reduce its influence on my life.
I had to challenge myself quite a bit.
Both my previous wife and my actual one came to me, not the opposite...
As for the gym, what are you doing, how often, can you get assistance from a trainer?
Do you have any hobbies?

 

Hi there FraidyCat.

Can you give us some more detail on your work-out programme & also your diet. For example, are you mainly doing weight training or also plenty of aerobic exercise + how much carbohydrates do you eat, relative to the amount of protein & fats?

Everyone's body is unique to some degree - it's about finding the right food & exercise combo that works for you.

More power to you meantime & keep in touch with us here.

Traveller22.

 

I'm only addressing the working out without gains problem. Just working out at your age without a new diet will limit your gains. Your body needs more than just a workout to see gains, you need to cut back on what you eat. Fastest gains are through A REGULAR ROUTINE of lifting weights, diet, and cardio. - You need to workout at least every other day without a break for a month to see anything happen.
Good luck.

 

After working out for years doing thousands of sit-ups trying to achieve a six-pack ab and never succeeding, I went on a diet and achieved a rock hard stomach without doing hardly any sit-ups.
Currently I'm in my late 50's and I'm very much out of shape, but at least I figured it out once. Gains are achieved only when diet is incorporated into working out. For the last 30-days I'm back in the gym, but so far have not been able to keep a consistent routine of at least working out every other day. Traveling for work had been the biggest road block.
Good luck, you can do it.

 

The nice thing about trying to change your body composition is much of it is just simple math. If you're trying to gain weight, eat a caloric surplus. If you're trying to lose weight, eat a caloric deficit. And, of course, pump iron!

As for the eye-contact thing, just force yourself to do it! People often think of eye contact as a thing that you do if you want to exert power over someone, or people think of it as something that you have to do to not be perceived as a wuss. Thinking of eye contact in either of those ways will just make you uncomfortable. What I do is think of it as a means to making a genuine, neutral connection with the person I'm speaking to. Think of it as a way for you to communicate that you're really interested in finding out more about them. Your body language changes when you change the way you frame your interactions, and people will respond very positively. So just relax!

 

Honestly i don't think you should focus on a number nor about the past. Live your life as you want it now and try to enjoy it. I know how hard it is i'm struggling as well right now.. keep hope my friend.

 

I'm 4 weeks into Nofap and I still have eye contact issues also. You're not alone on this one. I find it especially hard to talk to someone and maintaining eye contact. If our eyes did meet whether it was a male or female there would be a moment where the context of the conversation is lost as if I am peering into their soul, kinda weird.

 

Hi there.

If you are looking to lose weight, you might need to look at your diet & also think about doing more aerobic exercise - I wouldn't suggest running, but walking would be fantastic. Do you live in the city, town or have forests/mountains/beach close by?

Change your diet - you might need to cut down on carbohydrates and/or sugar - and start doing walking every day at a decent speed. Start with 20 minutes & build it up. If you are burning more than you are taking in, you should lose weight.

If your hobbies are watching movies & gaming, this means:
- You're not meeting people or being sociable during these times.
- You're sitting down.

Social anxiety is more common than maybe you realise. What I mean to say is, a lot of people find it hard to relax in social settings - that's a key reason why people drink & take drugs at parties, gatherings, clubs etc. It lowers their inhibitions & they feel more "free".

Building real confidence takes work. I'd suggest you cut back on your hobbies, get outside & exercise more - and concentrate more on aerobic than weight training.

Start small. Walk for 30 minutes every day & say a friendly "Hello" to X number of people as you walk past. Make eye contact for 3 seconds & then just move on. Build from there.

Simple steps over time lead to great results.

Being 50 beats being dead.

Be encouraged!

T22.

 

Welcome to the 5th floor! Hope you're feeling the support, because we are glad you posted.