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Hocd after 3 years , need help

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by HocdSuffer123, May 29, 2023.

  1. HocdSuffer123

    HocdSuffer123 New Fapstronaut

    At first I wasn't attracted to gay but now I get hard erection on toughts and gay porn
    But i'm curious
    If u keep testing to see if u have arousal on porn , checking with both types (straight/gay) , mostly gay , you can create an addiction and be "attracted" on that?
    Deep down it feels like i'm gay and sometimes bi because I get feelings for boys and things , feelings of attraction , but I keep searching for answers and something don't let me be gay , I know sometimes I still want to be straight and love a girl (this happens few times because I think i'm in a phase of derealization , nothing feels real , it feels like my body keep going forward but my mind is 100 Miles away)
    I want to start nofap and somehow recover to be old me , this could be true or it's too late for that?
  2. Believe2Achieve

    Believe2Achieve Fapstronaut

    Hey brother, I also suffer from HOCD.

    Now I don’t know your situation specifically, but what I can tell you is if you didn’t start out being aroused by gay porn, and you eventually built a tolerance to porn through your addiction, it’s highly likely you escalated, and you began to need extreme/taboo things to get your dopamine levels to rise.

    Now I don’t know you, so I don’t know your sexuality, only you know, and if you truly have HOCD, then you probably feel like you don’t know either at the moment. Here’s what you can do:

    - Quit PMO for a time being, allow your brain to get some clean time away from porn or any form of sexual stimulation for awhile, see how you start to feel. If your taste in gay porn is porn induced, it will go away because it’s not natural to you, it’s just something you conditioned via porn abuse. If it stays then you deal with whatever you gotta when the time comes.

    - Do not check for your HOCD, do not seek reassurance, just accept the thoughts as they come. No matter how anxious or uncomfortable you get because of an intrusive thought, don’t go checking or ruminating or seeking reassurance as that only makes the OCD stronger, you must just recognize you are having an intrusive thought, accept the thought as OCD, and continue doing whatever you were doing. No more compulsions or reassurance. Btw, checking gay porn to see if your still aroused to it is absolutely a horrible idea and you should never do that until you get some serious clean time from porn and you have gotten your HOCD under much better control.
    Lassquwuquwuw likes this.

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