HOCD and porn induced homosexual fetishes: a complete guide for freedom

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by JustPassingBy01, Jul 6, 2020.

  1. JustPassingBy01

    JustPassingBy01 Fapstronaut

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    Content:

    1 - Mindset and the most important rule
    2 - How addiction and OCD tricks your brain
    2.1 - Escalation, conditioning and novelty
    2.2 - Other non-pornography related causes
    2.3 - About having real life experiences
    3 - Understanding and learning to control urges
    3.1 - Triggers
    3.2 - Flashbacks
    3.3 - Anxiety, arousal and sexual tension
    3.4 - Rationalization: the addict self
    3.5 - Pay attention to your body
    4 - Exposure therapy?
    5 - (H)OCD: the addiction to stress relief
    6 - Healing: neuroplasticity and the monk life
    6.1 - Flatline
    6.2 - The risk of 'Zero libido days'
    6.3 - Making a habit and the path of least resistance
    6.4 - When to resume sexual activity
    6.5 - How long does it take?
    7 - You’re healed. What now?
    8 - Helpful resources




    Hello. Firstly I should say that english is not my main language, so you’ll probably find errors here and there. I’ll try as much as possible to make everything understandable.



    This is a guide I made based on my own experiences and on many studies from different sites, forums, videos and other people’s reports. It took me quite a bit of time to write this but I hope it will help people who are struggling with this problem. I’ve been in your same situation and I know how bad it can be to someone’s mental health and inner peace.


    I never really posted in forums like this one but I’ve been lurking around for many months and getting help from other people’s threads, so I thought now I should do my part and try to help others as well.

    I hope I’m posting this in the correct section but, if it’s wrong, then I hope some moderator can move it to it’s right place.

    Well then, let's start.




    A little bit about myself:

    I healed from HOCD and porn induced homosexual fetishes two times during the last few years.

    I was in my early 20s when my porn addiction escalated to this type of material for the first time (I watched many other types of fetishes before getting to homossexual porn, such as incest, porn with pregnant women and so on).

    I got confused, I knew that there was something going on, something inside my brain was telling me that this went too far. Then I made some searches about it and I found sites like NoFap and Your brain on porn.


    I’ve read a lot about porn addiction and decided to quit porn and recover. Since at the time I was very focused on getting a perfect body at the gym and curing my premature ejaculation (because I used to masturbate too fast to not get caught), it really wasn’t that hard to ignore porn because I was always so busy. By the way, I managed to cure my premature ejaculation as well.


    A few months later I also started dating a girl. She was a bit older than me, a smart and good looking women and we had an amazing sex life.

    After a year we broke off and I came back to my life as a single man.


    Not long after becoming single again I went back to porn (an extremely dumb decision which I regret to this day). My taste for porn now was very similar to when I just started watching porn in my teenage years (I was around 13 years old when I first watched a porn video). But it took only a couple months until my porn taste reached very hardcore stuff again, and eventually I went back to transgender and gay porn.

    And so I went, once again, into this journey to heal my brain from the negative effects of pornography and escalation. But this time it was taking much longer and I was relapsing a lot more, and it took me a while to understand why.

    It happens that now I wasn’t so focused on other things like in the first time, I was thinking about this porn addiction thing all the time and constantly freaking out about it, getting triggered by everything and everywhere, it was like hell on earth for almost an entire year.


    But everything has a positive side, and since it took me much longer to heal this second time I had the chance to learn a lot more about this challenge, and now I want to share with you this knowledge that helped me to become free from the enslavement of porn addiction and HOCD.

    Today I’ve been free for more than a year, with no signs of ever coming back to this mental slavery.




    Warning: in order to better understand this condition, some parts of this guide might be slightly triggering to certain people. If you get triggered, take a deep breath, slowly count to 10, maybe take a break from reading and come back later.



    Disclaimer: this guide is not anti-gay/homophobic.

    In this guide I'm talking to people who are heterosexual but their addiction to pornography has eventualy led them to watch homosexual content, which causes these people to feel high levels of stress and anxiety.






    1 - Mindset and the most important rule


    HOCD and porn induced fetishes are reinforced in your brain every time you relapse and climax to them.

    Think of it as giving candy to a kid every time they break a furniture in the house. They'll learn that they get a reward every time they do that, and so they'll keep breaking even more stuff.

    Knowing that, the following phrase is the most important rule and it needs to become your mantra, which you'll repeat for yourself every time you feel an urge:



    DON'T ACT ON THE URGE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.



    From now on, relapsing can't be an option. If that sounds impossible to you right now, keep reading this guide and you'll learn what you need to make it possible.

    These fetishes and thoughts WILL fade away. No matter how hard is the urge wave you're going through, trust in the recovery process, stay strong and you'll find your freedom.


    If you relapse and reinforce these fetishes, you'll feel terrible and you'll regret it deeply. You know this is true because you've already relapsed and you know how miserable you feel after that. So don't do it.

    Remember:

    DON'T ACT ON THE URGE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.






    2 - How addiction and OCD tricks your brain


    Compulsive porn use will gradually desensitize your brain to the material you used to watch. It's like eating your favorite food 50 times in a single day, doing it everyday for an entire year, it will become an ordinary thing.

    This will lead your brain to seek new stuff, and you'll start watching many different genres of porn, each of them more and more shocking in some way or another.


    Eventually transgender/gay porn will be one of the few porn genres your desensitized brain is still not used to, and so you'll go and start to watch it.

    Needless to say, this is the point where you start to think things like "what's going on? Why am I watching this?".


    The anxiety produced by these thoughts may also increase dopamine, which then increases arousal and compulsive behavior.


    The desensitisation caused by watching too much porn also decreases your sexual response to real women, which can also contribute to increase one's confusion and doubts about their sexual orientation.



    The doubts caused by your new porn habits creates HOCD, which is, of course, a type of OCD.

    OCD feeds on doubts and anxiety and it obsesses over many different things. In the case of HOCD, this obsession is about your sexual orientation.


    Long story short, you're now in a loop of porn addiction which leads you into watching gay porn, which makes the HOCD even worse.



    As you can see, this whole thing has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. It's simply the result of an addiction to pornography that has reached an advanced state.





    2.1 - Escalation, conditioning and novelty



    Warning: Some parts of this section can be triggering to some people, you may want to skip to '3 - Understanding and learning to control urges' if you're going through a strong urge wave right now.



    As explained above, pornography addiction leads you into seeking new and more shocking porn genres, this is called escalation.

    During my research I saw different cases of escalation and fetishes that led the person to experience HOCD. I even talked directly to some of these people via messages so I could understand their situation better.


    Based on these different cases and on my own experiences, I listed these examples of how conditioning and novelty seeking might create homosexual fetishes and HOCD.




    The penis as a cue for sexual arousal, the Pavlovian dog’s effect:


    For most straight men, seeing another men’s penis is either disgusting or neutral (causes no reaction), but porn use can change that over time.

    Many porn movies are very focused on showing the male actor’s penis (and that’s even more noticeable in the case of transgender porn or similar), and that can, over time, make your brain associate seeing a penis with creating sexual arousal (sending blood to the viewer’s penis’ veins).

    This phenomenon is known as Classical conditioning or “the Pavlovian dog’s effect”.



    The Wikipedia’s article about Classical conditioning explains this:


    “Pavlov's research

    The best-known and most thorough early work on classical conditioning was done by Ivan Pavlov, although Edwin Twitmyer published some related findings a year earlier.[8] During his research on the physiology of digestion in dogs, Pavlov developed a procedure that enabled him to study the digestive processes of animals over long periods of time. He redirected the animal's digestive fluids outside the body, where they could be measured. Pavlov noticed that his dogs began to salivate in the presence of the technician who normally fed them, rather than simply salivating in the presence of food. Pavlov called the dogs' anticipatory salivation "psychic secretion". Putting these informal observations to an experimental test, Pavlov presented a stimulus (e.g. the sound of a metronome) and then gave the dog food; after a few repetitions, the dogs started to salivate in response to the stimulus. Pavlov concluded that if a particular stimulus in the dog's surroundings was present when the dog was given food then that stimulus could become associated with food and cause salivation on its own.”


    When you first started watching porn you probably tried to not look directly at it or just didn’t care about the penis on screen, your focus was entirely on the girl. Or maybe you just saw the penis as if it was your own, so you could insert yourself in that situation. But, through classical conditioning that changed and, over time, the penis started to become a cue for porn and sexual arousal on its own. So now just seeing a penis, even without a woman on screen, might be enough to make you get an erection. This surely can be a strange phenomenon if you never felt attracted to penises in the past.

    This can further develop into the appearance of penis related fetishes. You may now start to look for porn that are even more focused on the display of penises, which reinforces addiction and HOCD even more.


    Reversing the classical conditioning:

    The best way to do it is to stop PMO for long enough. The conditioning will start to undo itself over time. Don’t feed the dog (addiction and porn induced homosexual fetishes) with food (dopamine, masturbation and orgasm) and it will eventually go away.

    Stop PMO, resist the urges, and let your brain heal itself to a natural state.





    This next part is more specifically for those men who developed not only a fetish for homossexual content, but also for assuming the submissive role in homossexual fantasies (also known as being the bottom role).




    Changing roles, a manifestation of novelty seeking:


    Straight men naturally have a preference for being the dominant/top person during sex with a woman. Because of porn overstimulation and escalation, the brain might start to seek and get excited for things that are different from that.


    When watching porn that shows a man and a woman having sex, these men may start to see themselves in the female role, and that gives them an extra dopamine because of the novelty effect.

    When watching gay porn, they usually see themselves as the bottom/submissive man in the scene.


    Other ways in which this “novelty of submission” may manifest are:

    Cuckoldry, where the humiliation of watching their woman with another man may create feelings of inferiority and submission in that situation.

    Female domination, or femdom. Being humiliated by a woman is another way to create similar feelings of submission.




    2.2 - Other non-pornography related causes


    Sometimes the HOCD and porn addiction will be strengthened by some non-porn related psychological causes.

    HOCD and porn addiction will attach themselves to these psychological conditions and then have a tighter grasp and dig their claws deeper in your mind. So it’s important to do an inner investigation and realize if you’re experiencing some of these things.

    Here is a list of some non-porn related psychological causes that may be strengthening your HOCD and porn addiction:




    Low self-esteem:


    Low self-esteem is present in many psychological problems and addictions.


    As you can see, all these fetishes I’ve mentioned previously share one particular thing in common: humiliation and a sense of inferiority.

    It means that maybe some of the people who seek this type of porn/fantasy already had some of these feelings internalized into their subconscious or conscious mind, and then these feelings find in porn a way to manifest themselves. If you think you’re one of these people, if you struggle with self-esteem and feel inferior to other people, that’s something worthy to think about.

    Addiction often grabs itself to feelings that are already present in the person’s mind.


    If you feel inferior to other men and that manifests as you playing the bottom role in a gay porn scenario or cuckoldry, maybe that’s because subconsciously you don’t feel “man enough”. Maybe you don’t have big muscles and don’t have the same body type as those men in porn, maybe you don’t feel as “alpha” as them.

    If you feel inferior to women and that manifests in the form of femdom porn and fantasies, maybe you’ve also been through some traumatic rejection situations, or maybe you don’t feel “man enough” to please a woman and so they should humiliate you.


    Another thing that can help create those subconscious feelings are the lack of an appropriate male figure during your development as a child and teenager.


    If some of those things I said resonates with you, I suggest that you go into a deep journey inside yourself and face all those demons of low self-esteem. You should seek to redefine those feelings of what it means to be a man.

    Being a man isn’t just having big muscles and having a penis size that most normal men don’t have, as most of these porns can make you believe. A lot of great men in our history weren’t muscular or anything, quite the opposite.

    Does some of the great men in human history are known for their muscles or something like that? No, some of them became true legends for having a great intellect, creativity, art skills, or many other extremely valuable traits.


    As you can see this is a very deep topic. But if you have those feelings of inferiority to other people, men or women, you need to look at yourself deeply and seek to understand and defeat those inner “demons”. I’m sure that there are positive things about you that your inferiority complex can’t see right now, but if you pay attention and think about it deeply, I’m sure you’ll be able to see them and have more positive feelings about yourself. This may take a while, but you can do it. And doing it will certainly help in your recovery.




    About becoming effeminate, crossdressing or sissification


    Once again, novelty itself plays a big role in the development of this fetish, but I also noticed a deeper meaning in the case of some people who got into this type of fantasy: a longing for being admired and desired.

    The normal, average guy doesn’t receive much positive attention from women and from other people in general. Some of these men (especially those who are more solitary, who have low to zero success with women) might develop a subconscious need for any type of admiration, no matter what type of admiration it may be.

    Here’s where porn addiction comes and twists these emotional needs into a subconscious thought process that works like this: “if I become an attractive woman/very effeminate man, I’d receive a lot more attention and compliments, I’d be desired”.


    We all know how attractive women (and some very effeminate gay guys) receive so much attention from men. It may not be the right type of attention since it’s purely sexual, but for a brain with a deep need for anything of the sort, and also going through the influence of porn addiction, sexual attention and sexual admiration becomes a chance for them getting anything similar to what they so deeply want.

    Being seem and used as a sex object stops being a problem for a mind that is twisted by this mix of emotional need and pornography addiction.


    If you think you’re one of these people and you want to solve these emotional problems as well as the porn addiction/HOCD, my suggestion is, once again, that you start this deep journey into your soul, learn more about yourself and also look for things such as self-love, self-respect and other similar ideas. The most important attention and admiration you may have comes from yourself.




    Escapism through self-degradation, humiliation and submission


    Not only submission is a way to punish yourself for the negative image you have of your own person. Submission, humiliation and self-degradation is also an escapism for many.

    I took these next paragraphs from somewhere on the internet but unfortunately I lost the link to the source. But this is the main part and I also added a few edits of mine:


    “The more inadequate you feel the further away you want to escape. That is why becoming an effeminate man/sissy is the ultimate escape...it's the complete opposite of who you are. It’s definitely an escape but I think it's an escape through submission, so it is the submission fundamentally that keeps one chained. Through submission they obtain their escape from worries and let the leader take charge. It's a coping mechanism for anxiety. By submission they know the "dominant" or "leader" won't get pissed off on them and won't attack them.


    It sometimes seems easier to abandon the responsibility and hard work needed to become a confident man and escape into these kinds of detached fantasies. However this only causes ultimately more loss of self-esteem. I think we as men need to support each other, to recognize the particular challenges we face. It is not always an easy road, but it is worth the effort when we gain our true inner strength of healthy masculine energy.


    We have to do a certain amount of development within ourselves to cultivate our masculine energy, and this is not always an easy task. There is work and risk involved to get there. We must accept this, and take responsibility for our own growth, along with all the challenges it requires along the way. And I believe it is work that must be done on our own.”


    It may sound harsh, but I think it could be said that escapism through becoming weak and submissive is a lazy way to deal with your inner problems. We need to seek our inner, healthy masculine strength and develop our self-esteem through that.




    Some helpful tips for those suffering with low self-esteem, not feeling “man enough”, etc.


    If you’re someone who doesn’t take care of your body, then start doing it. I’m not talking about becoming super muscular or anything, but start doing healthy stuff.

    Start with some push-ups at home to pump your mood, then eat healthy, drink lots of water, eat fruits and healthy meat, etc. If you can, go run outside, or use some gym equipment you may have at home, or just go to an actual gym if you want.
    Maybe get a better haircut, why not.

    Remember: the point is not to become the best good looking guy out there, the goal is to take care of your own body and yourself, this signals to your subconscious mind that YOU have value. Just by doing some of these things you’ll naturally start to feel better and some of these thoughts and feelings related to inferiority complex will start to decrease.




    Rebuilding your healthy masculinity


    If you relate to some of the things I described above, there’s a chance that you haven’t been taking care of yourself and your masculinity.

    “What? Take care of my masculinity?”

    Yes, masculinity is something men have to struggle and fight to preserve. It’s like a fire burning inside you, and if you get too relaxed and lazy, it will decrease. You’ll start to lose confidence, your physical posture/body language will become weak, with arched backs, hanging arms and so on. Maybe even your voice changes and becomes less deep.

    Notice that I’m not talking about being aggressive and angry, this is not healthy for anyone. I’m talking about being confident, to move, talk, and do everything with inner strength.
    This is no easy task, and this is the challenge we men have to face and conquer it.


    Once again, inner work, physical work, living a healthy life, all these things will contribute to increase your masculinity. And the stronger your masculinity becomes, the more and more detached you will get from those feelings of inferiority, weakness, submission, self-degradation, humiliation and so on.

    You can watch movies and read books about heroic men and get yourself inspired by their examples. You’ll feel this fire burning inside you once again. You’ll want to be strong and protect those you love. You’ll want to be a respectable and honorable man which others respect.


    Make of yourself your own project. Everyday you’ll work on yourself and gradually become more and more confident.





    2.3 - About having real life experiences


    “I had real sex with men/transgender people, can I still hope for a cure?”

    I didn't go as far as that but I know a few people who did it, and my answer is Yes, no matter how far you went into the addiction, there's always hope for healing, as long as you stop giving in and reinforcing the addiction.

    An important thing to mention is: if you went out seeking this type of experience after becoming a porn addict and started to watch gay/transgender porn, then you surely did it only because of your addiction. So it wasn't a genuine decision and you probably felt some type of regret or emptiness after that.

    Your moral compass shouldn't be ignored, if you feel like there's something wrong with what you did and you want to change that, then you're free to do it. You're the best person to judge what you want for yourself. You don’t need to be a slave to your addiction, you can break the chain and get rid of its influence in your sexual life.


    As much as it's important for someone to accept their true sexuality, a porn induced fetish, especially if it's something that causes you deep negative feelings, is far from representing who you truly are. Remember: you don’t need to be a slave.



    “I had sexual experiences with other boys/men in my childhood or teenage years and this makes me very confused”

    I had experiences that some people could classify as sexual with both boys and girls in my early childhood. Well, actually we were just showing our genitals to each other in some of those ‘children’s curiosity’ moments.

    I never cared about these things as I grew up, but the HOCD didn’t lose the chance to bring that up a few times during intense anxiety spikes.


    We really don’t choose what we experience during those years, we’re very exposed and vulnerable to everything that happens around us and so these events shouldn’t be used as signals of our sexual orientation in adult life.


    You should notice that I’m talking about mild and innocent childhood situations. I’m not talking about actual abuse.

    If you’ve been through that, then I really don’t feel competent enough to give you advice on that matter and I really suggest that you seek professional help.





    3 - Understanding and learning to control urges


    Learning to deal with urges is one of the most important things during your recovery. If you can’t stop the urges when they appear you’ll always keep going back to day 1. So you NEED to learn and master the art of self-control.


    It’s very important that you memorize the main stages of an urge so you can identify them when it’s happening to you. If you can look at the urge and say “I’m having flashbacks” or “this is rationalization” it’s like catching a liar right on the spot. It will lose a lot of its power.


    So, these are the main stages of an urge:


    Trigger

    Flashbacks

    Anxiety/sexual tension

    Rationalization


    Be aware that multiple of them can happen at the same time. As you go through your recovery process, use those moments where urges strike you to observe them and try to identify each of those stages, even if you’re having more than one at a time.


    Ok, now let’s take a deeper look at each one of these stages:




    3.1 - Triggers


    This is what starts the urge process. It may be a picture, a sound, anything. They're not always some sexualized stuff, sometimes your brain can associate even the most non-sexual thing to a random porn you watched years ago.

    Example: I once watched a porn where the actor and actress were speaking spanish. Then some months ago I was watching TV and a latino song started playing during a show. The spanish voices in that song immediately made me think about that porn, and a small urge started. Yeah, really dumb, but that happened.


    Triggers can be so subtle that sometimes it's hard to identify them unless you stop and think deeply about what started the whole thing.

    Being able to identify a trigger when it happens is very important, it can help you to get your rational thoughts back when you're about to be totally controlled by your addicted brain.


    As you progress in your recovery process and as you get more and more experience in dealing with urges, triggers will gradually start to have less effect on you.

    What makes NoFap/NoPMO so hard in the first weeks is that you’re extra sensitive to triggers during this phase, but if you manage to go through 4 or 5 weeks successfully on NoFap, and if you increase your understanding and experience in dealing with urges, it’s very possible that things which used to trigger you will start to have less and less effect, until the point where they’ll have no effect at all.


    How to stop triggers?

    It's almost impossible to avoid triggers, especially in our overly sexualized culture and society. Sometimes even our own minds will create some triggering thoughts out of the blue, especially when you're alone or bored. So my suggestion is that, instead of avoiding them, you should focus on understanding them and learning about what to do after something triggers you.

    So the basic is: take a long, deep breath, think objectively about the situation. Pay attention to your body and keep breathing deeply and slowly to gradually reduce the physical effects of the urge (fast heartbeats, shaking body, etc).


    -Continues below-
     
  2. JustPassingBy01

    JustPassingBy01 Fapstronaut

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    3.2 - Flashbacks


    After the trigger, you'll get flashbacks of porn scenes and images in your brain. They're often porn scenes you've already watched but sometimes your brain can create new stuff too.


    How to stop porn flashbacks?

    Stopping these images and videos from popping up in your brain might be a hard task, so a better strategy is to give your brain a different distraction as fast as possible.

    Some suggestions of things you can do to distract your brain:

    • Doing pushups or any type of intense physical activity;

    • Going out for a walk;

    • Focused meditation (sit down, breath deep and slowly while paying close attention to the air going in and out of your body through your nose and mouth)

    • Call a friend for hanging out

    • Read something that you find very interesting
    *In my own experiences, exercises, cold showers and other physical activities are the best way to get your mind out of intense flashbacks.


    Do not allow porn-induced fetishes imagery to run freely on your mind! Or else your brain will trick you.




    3.3 - Anxiety, arousal and sexual tension


    After you experience the trigger and flashbacks, your body will start to react to it. If the flashbacks are related to unwanted porn-induced fetishes, HOCD will kick in and create anxiety, which by itself can help to increase sexual tension. Your heartbeats will become faster, you’ll act more agitated and your body may start to shake a little bit. You may have an erection as well, a cold shower will solve it.

    In these moments the best you can do is trying to calm down and not let these tense feelings and sexual arousal take control over your mind. So it’s never too late to take a deep breath to calm down and then go do some physical activity to get you out of it.



    3.4 - Rationalization: the addict self


    Rationalization is maybe the trickiest part of an urge. Your brain turns against yourself and starts to find every excuse possible to convince you that you should give up and relapse.

    I call it "addict self" because rationalization is like having another "you" in your brain. You'll need a lot of willpower if you want to win a debate against it. And this is why you shouldn't even take that risk, just go and do something to distract your mind before rationalization has a chance to trick you.


    Once again: the magic power of a super cold shower is your life saver if things get too bad.


    Some examples of rationalization:

    "If other people do this, why can't I?"

    "I had a bad day, I deserve to just follow this urge."

    "It's a hopeless fight, I'll lose eventually so I might just go and do it now."


    Every thought that tries to give you reasons to relapse is nothing more than addiction's rationalization. Don't let them trick you.



    3.5 - Pay attention to your body: awareness and surfing the urge


    Being conscious of your own body is important to control the urge. Close your eyes and start to pay attention to everything that happens in your body.

    During an urge you might feel your heart beating faster, intense breathing, a "heaviness" on your genitals due to increased blood flow in the area, and other things depending on each person.

    Taking this time to understand your body will give you more awareness and self control.


    There is a technique called "Surf the Urge" which is based on awareness, I've used it some times during my recovery process and I can confirm that it is very helpful.

    Here's a description:


    Surf the Urge

    To practice urge surfing, when you feel a craving coming on, stop and acknowledge it. Sit down, close your eyes, and observe sensations within your body. It helps to verbally acknowledge the feelings during the experience.


    For example, you might say to yourself, “I feel uncomfortable and I am thinking about using drugs/alcohol/porn,” or “My palms are sweaty and my heart is beating fast.” Describe as many thoughts and sensations as possible until you no longer feel the craving. Urge surfing can help you realize that cravings come in waves and will eventually pass.





    4 - Exposure therapy?


    You may have heard some people suggesting exposure therapy for treating HOCD. DON'T DO THAT.

    Exposing yourself to gay/transexual porn will only feed your porn addiction and make your HOCD even worse.

    Be aware that, even though exposure therapy is an effective treatment for many types of OCD, it definitely doesn't help people whose OCD is related to some addiction, which is your case. So avoid all types of porn, erotica or fantasies related to your addiction.

    Again: Do not feed or allow porn-induced fetishes imagery to run freely on your mind!


    Exposing yourself to these things in order to become more “used” to them is not a good strategy, I’ve tried it once and got terrible results.



    The following paragraphs were taken from Your Brain on Porn:


    “Exposure therapy backfires when porn addiction is present


    For the Internet porn addict using standard HOCD therapy, exposure to real gay men doesn’t address the source of his HOCD conditioning—which is not to humans or sex with humans, but rather to pixels. Yet if he tries exposure therapy with gay porn, he is engaging in the precise behavior to which he is addicted. One can’t cause an addict to habituate by providing the very cues he’s hooked on!


    This is why exposure therapy could well be all wrong for guys trying to unravel porn-related HOCD. It’s like having an alcoholic drink more on the theory that she will get bored with drinking, or a gambler place more bets until he habituates. In an addict, continued use only deepens the addiction ruts in the brain. Exposure therapy may thus deliver an unproductive mixed message to a porn-addicted HOCD sufferer instead of promoting useful conditioning (habituation).


    So where does one start? Porn addicts need to eliminate Internet porn use above all. As their brains return to balance many also notice that confusing sexual cues lose their power.


    If porn addicts with HOCD try to use related cues for a therapeutic purpose instead of abstaining from them they’re strengthening their behavioral-addiction neural pathways. This is a Catch 22. The addict (and perhaps his therapist) may wrongly conclude that his persistent, powerful response to problematic cues is not HOCD, but rather “proof” that his sexual orientation has mysteriously transformed.


    The point is that addiction presents an obstacle for standard OCD Exposure & Response Prevention therapy. Even if a porn addict stops seeking the reward of relief (from testing or analysis), exposure to porn still “rewards” him by activating his sensitized addiction pathways.



    What does help?


    We are not therapists. However, we have read self-reports by a number of former Internet porn users who describe themselves as suffering/recovering from HOCD (sample self-report). We’ll summarize their experience in case it proves useful.


    Guys report that giving up the reward of Internet porn and temporarily giving up the reward of sexual activity (other than relaxed, affectionate partner sex) both help resolve their HOCD. As they stop reinforcing their prime reward (porn use), their brains gradually look around for, and wire to, other sexual rewards. This can take months. In light of these guys’ experience, therapists may want to invite clients to disconnect from Internet porn for a few months before introducing exposure therapy (if ever).


    At first, guys may not respond normally to partners, although relaxed affection is soothing (perhaps because it releases oxytocin). Also, until the worst of the addiction withdrawal has passed, they also often experience more excruciating HOCD spikes.


    The HOCD sufferer needs to work on stopping three rewarding habits: Internet porn use, relief seeking(explained below in this guide) and distress.”




    5 - (H)OCD: the addiction to stress relief


    HOCD is a problem in itself and, if you don't deal with it and focus only on staying away from porn, your recovery process might take a lot longer as HOCD can keep urges coming back for longer than they should.

    HOCD is a type of OCD, which means that it acts by creating unwanted thoughts in your mind and, depending on how you deal with these thoughts, they might keep coming back or go away definitely after a while.


    Addictions and OCD share some important similarities, and they are: compulsive behaviour and reward seeking.

    A typical case of OCD is someone freaking out because they think they touched something that has bacteria, they compulsively wash their hands and the reward comes in the form of relief from thinking they're not infected.

    HOCD is just like that, but with doubts about sexual orientation as the trigger for “freaking out”.

    The compulsive behavior is ‘checking’ and the reward is ‘reassurance’.


    Examples of Checking: looking at other guys on street to see if you find them attractive, asking about your HOCD on internet forums, and even watching gay porn to see if you get aroused are some examples of checking.

    The bad thing is: the anxiety caused by the fear of getting a negative outcome in these checkings might create body reactions similar to arousal. As you already know, anxiety can boost dopamine, and that can also create the result you don’t want. So don’t do that.

    If you get some urges for checking just say to yourself “I don’t need that. Whatever result I get from it doesn’t matter as I’m still going through a healing process and that can make my brain chemistry very unstable and unreliable.”


    Sometimes checking goes wrong and will cause you to freak out even more, this is why checking should be avoided. For example: When looking online for reassurance you may stumble upon those people who like to say “maybe you’re gay but you didn’t know it”.

    This is the kind of thing someone with a type of OCD don't wanna hear, as they'll usually panic when reading these words, and their compulsion will get even worse.

    So you need to avoid checking, just tell your mind to calm down.


    Now, when you get a positive answer that gives you reassurance, that will give you a relief which, again, is like giving candy to a kid.

    If you give candies to a kid everytime they do a certain thing, guess what, they’ll do it over and over again.

    So your brain will start to create the conditions that will put you into “reassurance seeking mode” again, so it can get it’s candy. Your brain will start to create its own triggers to create doubt, checking and reassurance seeking.


    So… don’t seek reassurance. As I said, just ignore those urges too, focus on other things.

    If you feel like your brain is craving for checking and reassurance, just tell it “I’m cool, I don’t need that”.



    This was taken from Your brain on porn and is a good example of how OCD behavior can be bad for your healing process:


    This man’s report is interesting because he began by weakening the porn reward, only to find that he hadn’t dealt with the fear and relief (checking) rewards.


    “I’m now over 3 months without porn, but I had sunk into a stupor of constantly checking various HOCD message boards. I was spending hours every day on those sites, sometimes checking them as much as several times an hour: at work, while I was driving, in bed at night, etc. etc. etc. Really bad ‘checking behavior.’ My brain was being rewarded when I would read something that reassured me, and it would fire up and freak out when I read something that spiked my anxiety.


    I had also expanded my checking onto other message boards, including gay and bisexual boards. This just perpetuated the spiral. I wasn’t sleeping much on account of all my anxiety, and I wasn’t really present in my life. I was either on these boards or worrying about what I read on them. Constantly. My relationship was suffering. Sometimes, alone at night, I would go on 2-3 hour binges of HOCD checking on internet message boards, and then feel awful afterward.


    I decided I would stop. My mate deserves someone who is present, not totally distracted. Since then, I have only had one 15-minute session, checking for replies. I’ve had to struggle to resist temptation, but the result is that I feel SO much better.


    It’s really pretty remarkable. My HOCD has decreased significantly now that I am not constantly signaling to my brain “THESE HOCD THOUGHTS ARE IMPORTANT” by going on the boards and engaging in checking and reassurance. I hadn’t read a book in months, but I’m now on my second one since I gave up the boards. My free time at night is now spent either with my girlfriend or reading by the fire. I’m sleeping a lot better.


    Yes, I still get the occasional spike when I see an attractive guy. And then from the checking with thoughts of him. But it’s gotten to be a lot less, and that thought fades a lot faster.


    I now think that my HOCD may have been due to the fact that when I finally overdosed on PMO after years and years of it, I lost much of my attraction to real women. Without it women and men started to look the same to me, and BAM worries about being gay erupted.”



    How to deal with HOCD:


    An OCD of any type feeds itself by the fear and panic you experience when it's intrusive thoughts pop in your head.

    So it's important that you look at these thoughts with a different attitude from now on.


    Be aware that you can’t control when HOCD thoughts will pop up in your brain, but you CAN control how you react to them.

    What you need to do is to see these thoughts as what they are: just thoughts created by a type of OCD. You need to understand that they have no true meaning.

    Since they just pop up suddenly, some people like to call OCD thoughts as 'brain farts'. Yeah sounds hilarious, and that's good, because seeing these thoughts in a light and humorous way can decrease the tension and anxiety they usually generate.


    These thoughts shouldn't be taken seriously, they're not worthy of causing you fear or stress.

    So whenever an HOCD thought appear, quickly label them by telling yourself something like "this is just an OCD thought", "I'm not going to get anxious anymore, I know what you (the OCD thoughts) are, you mean nothing" or even "yeah another brain fart, move on".


    I think you got the point. Every time you make fun of these thoughts instead of freaking out you make the HOCD a little weaker. Since you’re not giving the OCD what it wants (which is fear and anxiety), the OCD will gradually become more and more weaker.

    After a while they may be completely gone.


    I remember that after 8 or 9 months after stopping PMO I still had a few HOCD thoughts, but they happened around once or twice a month, and they were so easy to deal with that they simply vanished in a few minutes.

    So don’t be surprised if that happens to you as well. You’ll have accumulated so much experience on dealing with it, that at that point whatever thought appears in your mind will have no chance at all. It will feel like killing a little ant that just appeared next to you.



    When reassurance is acceptable:


    The first month of recovery is usually the harshest one. Sometimes the anxiety, urges and rationalization caused by porn addiction will be so strong that you may, indeed, need some type of reassurance or motivation to give your brain a little relief and to recover a bit of rationality so you can make it through that urge wave as a winner.

    My personal suggestion is: instead of going out there on google and different internet forums asking for it, just come back to this guide and read everything again from start to end. This will decrease the “seeking” stage of reassurance.

    Also by coming back here you will remember that it IS possible to win, that you don't need to be a slave to this addiction and it's urges for the rest of your life.


    After your situation gets a little better and porn addiction decreases (around the second or third month of no-PMO), stop doing that or the problem will persist forever.

    Reassurance might be one of your emergency tools for the worst moments of addiction urges. But after you've made it through the first month or so, try to stop being dependent on it and then start using the strategy described above on 'How to deal with HOCD" to stop this need for reassurance.






    6 - Healing: neuroplasticity and the monk life


    Living as a "monk" in the sexual aspect is essential for your first 2 or 3 months of healing.
    You need to move away from any type of sexual imagery, stories, fantasy, etc. Even those you consider healthier.
    It's important for your brain to take a long break from it.


    It won't be easy. But think that 3 months, 6 months, 12 months will pass whether you do No-PMO and heal or not. So make sure that, when these 12 months pass, you'll be a winner and will have reached your goal, no matter how hard they were.


    Always remember this: Porn has a price, and it can cost you everything.



    Neuroplasticity allows your brain to reverse back to a state where it won't have those unwanted porn-induced fetishes, but it takes a lot of time, patience and discipline.

    Each unwanted fetish is a brain pathway created by porn and addiction. These brain pathways, when unused for a long time, will become weaker and weaker until they won't bother you anymore.

    But be aware that returning to porn can quickly reactivate them, so do yourself a favor and never go back to watching pornography.




    6.1 - Flatline

    Flatines are no joke. There are days in your recovery process when you'll feel like absolute crap.


    Here's a definition of Flatline:

    Any negative symptoms associated with the removal and recovery of pornography can be described as such. Not limited to: No Libido, Insomnia, anxiety, Urges, irritability, depression, weakness, fatigue, headache, flu symptoms, joint pain, homosexual thoughts (it can happen even for some people who didn't escalated to homosexual porn, due to the novelty and dopamine seeking state of an addicted brain), other types of intrusive thoughts, etc.


    Be aware of the flatline. Keep strong and don't let the addiction trick you into using them as an excuse to relapse.




    6.2 - The risk of 'Zero libido days'


    During your recovery there will be days where your libido seems to be completely gone, which means that if you see some attractive woman you will feel absolutely nothing.

    This is a normal thing for people recovering from porn addiction. Your brain is adjusting itself so, just like a computer needs to restart and temporarily shut down during a reboot, your brain needs to do a similar thing, so it kinda shuts down some things related to sexuality and reward for a while.


    This is already an uncomfortable situations for many people, but for guys recovering from both porn addiction and HOCD it has an extra risk:

    As I said, during these days you'll feel nothing when looking at an attractive woman, which can trigger the HOCD and create thoughts of doubts about your sexuality and a need for checking by searching for more pictures of women and possibly pictures of men to compare your reaction.


    Don't fall into that trap.


    If you find yourself going through some of these 'Zero libido days', don't feed the HOCD thoughts that might pop up in your brain.

    Remember: your brain chemistry is still very unstable and it is going through a recovery process, so you can't take your body reactions, or the lack of them, as anything meaningful. Just let the brain do it's crazy things while recovering and don't get trapped into HOCD thoughts, checking or any similar thing.




    6.3 - Making a habit and the path of least resistance


    Turning something into a habit will make your brain have an easier time following the direction you want. This is the path of least resistance.

    Until now you made PMO and seeking novelty/fetishes your habit, and this makes your brain always want to go this route. If you work into making No-PMO and resisting urges your new habit, this will become your path of least resistance and, believe me, when that happens, it will be harder to relapse than to resist urges. What I mean is that your new normal will be No-PMO and so this will become the easier path, the path your brain naturally chooses.


    Here's something you can try to see how a habit is created:

    Start brushing your teeth with the opposite hand you usually use. If you're right handed, start using your left hand to brush your teeth. If you're left handed, use your right one.

    You'll notice that at first it's very awkward, you can't control your other hand that well.

    But if you insist in doing this, you'll gradually become better and better at it until, after some weeks or months, it becomes very natural and easy.


    The same idea applies to No-PMO. The more you resist urges and the more you use the strategies such as meditation, urge surfing, cold showers, exercises, etc. the more it becomes the path of least resistance. But it only works if you don't relapse. So, for your own sake, do not relapse!


    Remember:

    DON'T ACT ON THE URGE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.




    6.4 - When to resume sexual activity:


    This is a very personal thing, every person is different. My general rule is: zero sexual activity for at least 1 month. In the second month, if you have a girlfriend/wife, you can have very slow passionate sex with her once during this month. In the third month, increase the amount of times to two or three times. Keep gradually increasing the amount of times for each month.


    Now if you're single, many guys on forums like this one will say something like: "zero masturbation, don't ever touch yourself again!" But I'll give you my own thoughts on that matter, and if you don't agree with me, that's ok. Do what feels better for you. Well, here we go:
    In my opinion, if you're single, stay at least two months with zero sexual activity. In the third month, if you're feeling like you really need to ejaculate, maybe you can do one masturbation session, very slow, only thinking about some girl you find sexy, nothing extreme of course, maybe try to give it a romantic feel. Well, just very light sexual thoughts.

    In the next month, you can do two sessions, the same way: slow, light sexual thoughts, romantic, etc. In the next month, you can do three sessions.

    But even after several months, try to not go beyond one session per week, and NEVER watch pornography, use only your thoughts.


    In my opinion, masturbation can be a healthy thing, the problem is that for the past two decades men have been overdoing it and associating it’s practice to the use of pornography, which leads to a vast number of problems.

    If you can go three months or more with zero ejaculations, then do it, it's the ideal scenario. But we're all humans, so the strategy I wrote in the previous paragraphs applies if you really can't stay for longer than 3 months without having an ejaculation. If you do everything right (zero porn, zero fetishes, etc), that strategy shouldn't hurt your recovery process.




    6.5 - How long does it take?


    The following timeframes are based on many reports from different people and from my own experience while recovering from porn addiction, porn induced fetishes and HOCD.

    Take note that they only apply if you don't relapse or reinforce the unwanted fetishes by watching porn, masturbating and orgasming to them.

    Also these may vary a little bit or a lot for each person, so don't be worried if things don't happen exactly as described below.

    Here we go:


    1 to 10 days: this depends a lot for each person. Some people go through these days very easily while others have a very hard time.


    10 to 30 days: the hardest days of recovery. Your brain will try everything to take you back to PMO. Be prepared for very strong urge waves with a few days of peace between them. Expect nothing less than hell, porn addiction and HOCD thoughts will torture you. Keep strong and don’t give up. In my case, the worst days were between day 20 and 25.


    30 to 60 days: You’ve defeated the worst part of this process. Things will start to get a bit easier over time, but don’t let your guard down. The urges will decrease, you will still have them here and there but weaker. You may go through some flatlines or zero libido days. Don't be scared if that happens, it's normal.

    While libido will be lower, HOCD intrusive thoughts may become stronger at certain days, so be aware of that.


    60 to 90 days: unused brain pathways associated with porn addiction and porn induced fetishes will start to become weaker. Keep going and not reinforcing them, you're close to freedom.

    Don't be scared if your brain tries some final strikes with some more urges and thoughts, just keep going.


    90+ days: the addiction, porn induced fetishes and HOCD will keep becoming weaker and weaker every day. Some of the thoughts will still reappear every now and then possibly for months, but now you’re much stronger and will beat them easily.

    There's no exact answer for when you'll be 100% healed, but I'd say that in 1 year, if you don't relapse and reinforce the addiction and porn-induced fetishes not a single time, you'll not even recognize your old, addicted self anymore.




    7 - You’re healed. What now?


    That's a simple question: NEVER go back to porn.

    Keep a healthy lifestyle with healthy habits. Keep working on yourself.

    Now you're a free man. Enjoy your freedom, but never allow yourself to get trapped by porn again.




    8 - Helpful Resources


    This is a helpful chart I found on Reddit and I used it for tracking my progress.

    The chart was made by Nisandzija.


    Here's a link to the chart:

    https://i.imgur.com/qcQHctq.png



    Just for the sake of curiosity, this is how my chart looks like:

    https://i.imgur.com/zJutk4q.png


    I stopped using it on day 100, but you can try to fill it entirely if you want. I just thought it wasn't needed for me anymore.




    Well I think this is all the information I have to share for now. Hope you make good use of them. :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2020
  3. lildn666

    lildn666 Fapstronaut

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    Brother as a 18 year old and strugling from HOCD.I truly appreciate you.I read only half but in morning im gonna read all of this.I feel way more better thanks.
     
    aterius1 and JustPassingBy01 like this.
  4. EndToPorn

    EndToPorn Fapstronaut

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    Man, this is probably (atleast for me) the best post I've seen on the internet since i was born. Seriously, you dont know how much people you are helping right now. Ty so much!!! I will be glad if you could answer that aswell: does thinking about gay sex, will delay my HOCD healing? Like, if i unconsciously think about it for like 20 seconds, and then realize that i shouldn't be thinking about it, those 20 seconds that i was thinking about gay sex, delayed my healing? Or it would only delay it in case i masturbated while i was thinking about it?
     
  5. iwontfail67

    iwontfail67 Fapstronaut

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    Brilliant post that will truely help a lot of people. Just a quick heads up, there are a bunch of trolls on this site that comment on all Hocd posts and will probably comment and try and disprove everything you’ve said so if that’s the case, don’t pay attention to them. You’ll know who they are by the amount of swift hate they will get.

    But anyway man, very good work with this post. I’m at the endgame of my hocd recovery and everything you wrote makes perfect sense. You’re gonna help a lot of people.
     
    aterius1, engelman, OBY1999 and 2 others like this.
  6. JustPassingBy01

    JustPassingBy01 Fapstronaut

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    I can't say exactly how much doing that could delay your healing, but you definitely want to avoid keeping these thoughts in your mind.

    Thoughts about gay sex are what I called 'Flashbacks' in my guide.
    You can't control when certain thoughts pop up in your brain, but after they appear you can't feed them. Try to not let unwanted thoughts to run in your mind for more than 10 seconds. The longer you let them run in your mind, the more you're risking yourself and after a few more seconds these thoughts may escalate to a stronger urge, and then to a relapse.

    Trying to control an addicted brain is like training a dog. You don't want to feed their bad behaviour, so whenever you see it doing something you don't want, you should quickly get it's attention to something else.
     
    aterius1 likes this.
  7. YoungGunner00

    YoungGunner00 Fapstronaut

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    What about intrusive thoughts does that slow the process of recovery. Ive stopped pmo and started meditation and trying the full monk mode. But still getting urges and intrusive thoughts that makes me sad and depressed.
     
    aterius1 likes this.
  8. JustPassingBy01

    JustPassingBy01 Fapstronaut

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    Just snap out of them as quickly as possible. The intrusive thoughts will start to decrease gradually over the weeks and months as long as you don't feed them or relapse.
     
    aterius1 likes this.
  9. OBY1999

    OBY1999 Fapstronaut

    Bro you're a genius. Thank you so much for this. I don't have HOCD but I do get turned on by Erotic Humiliation porn and have a low self esteem.
    However thanks to my own digging online I've already started working on my self esteem and its in a much better place.

    Reading this detailed text that you spent time and energy on just to help others for nothing in return but our appreciation is truly heartwarming and I think you're an amazing person.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2020
  10. DrabToLight

    DrabToLight Fapstronaut

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    This an easy one. HOCD is a made-up thing. So, don't stress it. Porn CANNOT make you gay. Psychology Today quotes: "HOCD remains largely unrecognized in the larger therapeutic community". It's not real. You are straight. Porn is a lie. Live in the real world.
     
    SJD likes this.
  11. iwontfail67

    iwontfail67 Fapstronaut

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    OP this is the guy who copy and pastes stupid shit on every Hocd thread^. It’s actually funny how he probably didn’t even read the post, he might have learnt something. Don’t reply or argue with him because he will take it extremely to heart and never stop. He is a persistent sob I’ll give him that.

    DarbtoLight please do everyone a favour and just piss off. We don’t need your input to stir up drama and take away the real meaning of this post.
     
    aterius1 and Greenarrow1159 like this.
  12. YoungGunner00

    YoungGunner00 Fapstronaut

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    Thankyou for this post.
    I have several questions to ask:
    1. If someone is straight from childhood like me can hocd turn him?
    2. If someone is straight and watched gay porn out of curiosity and he liked it will this method help in rewire his brain?
    3. People say in hocd you have to accept the thoughts and move on. Accepting the thoughts will turn that guy gay or is it just to trick your brain.
    4. How i stop myself to get trigger in every situation i face like talking to friends, playing video games, scrolling insta somehow my brain manages to trigger itself.
    5. These hocd thoughts feel so real how not to act on them?

    Thankyou very much
     
  13. iwontfail67

    iwontfail67 Fapstronaut

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    1. no it cannot turn you gay but it can trick you into thinking you are through anxiety.
    2. Did you actually like it or did you just respond to is in an extreme and escalating way? Was it something that your porn addiction reacted to as a way of breaking through the desensitisation?
    3. More so accept that the thoughts are there instead of accepting that they are true.
    4. When you get triggered follow the process, “Trigger, Flashback, Anxiety, Rationalise”. If every trigger works within that process, just realise the pattern and don’t give it any power.
    5. Just don’t act on them. It’s simply your desensitised addicted brain craving that life threatening dose of escalation so it can reinforce its addiction.
     
    aterius1 and engelman like this.
  14. YoungGunner00

    YoungGunner00 Fapstronaut

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    2. I didn't watched gay porn until i got hocd. But i watched literally every kind of porn in the past. After hocd i watched only for reassurance that's it. I didn't liked it. My brain only looks at gay porn as sexual. I didn't want any relationship or future with a guy but brain tricks to think about it. Whenever i get back to my senses i laugh at myself and regret what i was thinking. These thoughts are more like getting zoned out from looking at a white screen. The more your think the deep you'll go.
     
    aterius1 likes this.
  15. Supination

    Supination Fapstronaut

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    Clearly you haven't even read the post. Your ignorance is unbelievable.
    STOP sticking your nose and bringing politics to every single HOCD thread and get a life.
    You're nothing but toxic and danger to the people who suffer in this forum. You have zero knowledge about the consequences of your actions. Shame on you!
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2020
    OBY1999 likes this.
  16. iwontfail67

    iwontfail67 Fapstronaut

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    Bro don’t argue with him. He’s that troll from all the other Hocd posts. He takes this shit all personally and has a cry about it. You’re just feeding his will to make a mess of this thread. Consider him the representation of Hocd and ignore it!!
     
    OBY1999 and Supination like this.
  17. OBY1999

    OBY1999 Fapstronaut

    Yo, so after looking into the post history of this troll I found out he is just entertaining a different opinion on this.
    All he believes is that quitting porn stopping your gay thoughts doesn't mean it's HOCD matter fact he says that term is unreal and made up by armchair psychologists.
    basically his all arguement is that people gave this a name he just won't recognize because it used to be called something else once or whatever.

    He didn't really say the method of OP shouldn't work, he just think that OP is misinformed about the "Psychology" behind it.
     
    engelman likes this.
  18. iwontfail67

    iwontfail67 Fapstronaut

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    Bro trust me, he didn’t even read what OP posted. Notice how his posts are basically identical. He considers the idea of Hocd as “gay bashing” and has a personal vendetta against it. Quitting porn will cure porn induced hocd, everyone knows that, but claiming that Hocd itself does not exist for the sake of not offending someone is pretty stupid.

    It’s just annoying when you see people comment on all of these posts just for the sake of trying to start drama.
     
    aterius1 and Supination like this.
  19. the general

    the general Fapstronaut

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    Damn this thing is so detailed. Thank you so much. I reached day 10 yesterday then relapsed because of a trigger I got from a movie scene and then the HOCD thoughts just rained on me like an airstrike and I M ed with those thoughts. This article has brought so much hope in me and at least I am educated now on the issue.
     
    The Dark Wolf and aterius1 like this.
  20. DrabToLight

    DrabToLight Fapstronaut

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    Good Morning to You too @Supination ,

    Here is an exact quote of what I posted:

    Here is the NoFap Mission Statement:

    So, let's break it down. NoFap is "science-based". There is no science that says HOCD is real. In science, the onus of proof is on the person making the claim and this thread fails to prove HOCD is real.

    You also said:

    Where in post #10 (my only post in this thread) did I interject politics? I stuck to the truth that there is no science that shows HOCD to be real. Further, since NoFap is science-based, my advice was that porn is a lie and that people should not live in a lie, they should live in the real world.

    So my advice is that HOCD is:
    ✔ Made up and it is
    ✔ That NoFap is Science-Based and it is
    ✔ That Porn is a lie and it is
    ✔ That men who were straight before they started watching porn are still straight and they are
    ✔ That everyone addicted to the lie of porn should join us in the real world where we realize porn is a lie

    Being a porn addict and worrying about something fake, such as HOCD, take valuable time away from recovery from porn addiction.

    So, I stand by what I said. HOCD is fake and people should get busy working a NoFap program. NoFap is not about "not doing something". NoFap is about work - specifically working on one's addiction.

    Getting your tail feathers all in a fluff over HOCD is like rearranging the deck chairs on the RMS Titanic while it was sinking. Find a lifeboat and get off the USS Porn Addiction and you will find yourself again. When you find yourself, you will find you are just as straight as you were before you started using porn.

    -D2L
    ---
     
    engelman likes this.

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