HOCD/Eliminating fetishes FAQ

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by jest, Jul 6, 2017.

  1. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    This post is mainly geared torwards HOCD, however I must say that I also beat certain fetishes in a similar fashion, so take whatever information is relevant to you.

    Hey guys, for those of you who are struggling with HOCD (or fetishes) I've put together this FAQ guide in order to help you successfully overcome it. I struggled with it for some months but I can safely say that it got weaker and weaker to the point where it holds little to no power over me today. If your HOCD is P induced then you've come to the right place, if it's not, you might still benefit from what I'm about to cover here.
    This is not an explanation on what HOCD is nor am I going to reassure you of anything, reassurance is bad. I want to keep this short and simple, the methods described are hard at first and so you must practice until you master them.
    With that in mind, let's begin.


    • How do I stop my HOCD thoughts?

    Simply put, you don't. Thoughts exist only inside your head and nobody can hear them besides you, the only reason why they are bothering you is because you are giving them too much power, treat them like passing clouds and they will pass.
    Every time a thought pops up in your head tell yourself: “there goes my HOCD brain again…”, do this long enough and you'll stop worrying about what you're thinking and eventually all your HOCD thoughts will disappear.

    • How do I stop engaging in compulsive behaviours?

    In order to stop doing compulsions you have treat HOCD just like your PMO addiction, resist your urges by identifying that you are having them and distracting yourself with something else. Do NOT under any circumstance let your urges escalate into a situation that you aren't sure will have a good outcome, in other words, if you're feeling bad, guilty, shameful, disgusted, confused or upset about an urge/compulsion force yourself to stop as soon as you can, do this for long enough and the urges will cease to bother you. Do not be alarmed if as soon as you see signs of progress your brain tricks you with a new kind of compulsion - simply follow the same procedure: identify it, blame it on hocd, distract yourself and force yourself to stop.

    • Does exposure help?

    Short answer: no. Long answer: if you're not being treated by an expert, exposure will make matters worse, you have nothing to gain from it but more escalation and more confusion. Get away from any triggers and P.

    • What to do when I experience unwanted arousal?

    If you're familiar with the principles of Yoga, you know that you can consciously control parts of your body including internal organs. More often than not when you're focused on NOT getting a groinal reaction that is exactly what will happen, you send signals to your body and since you're inexperienced in controlling body parts you'll get aroused without question, I know this isn't pleasant to hear. What you have to keep in mind is that you need to learn to relax and give up control of your HOCD mind, if you get aroused, know that it means nothing about you nor what you stand for specially when you're suffering from a mental instability, eventually these reactions will subside, be patient.

    • My compulsions escalated and I acted upon them, what now?

    Personally I didn't get to this point but if it happened to you then you must firstly forgive yourself and let go of what you did. There's nothing to gain by dwelling on it and it most likely felt awkward and/or confusing which is a sign that your HOCD brain took over and so you weren't fully responsible for what happened. However, letting a compulsion escalate once doesn't mean that you are powerless against it, fight it until it dies down, recognise the signs that show you your HOCD was in control and not you.

    • I experimented as a child/I was involved in a certain situation as an adult/I'm addicted to HOCD related behaviours, do I really have HOCD or am I in denial?

    I'm no doctor and quite frankly most doctors are probably clueless about this anyway. The matter of fact is, you know deep down what feels right to you, you wouldn't obsess about any of this if you didn't have HOCD - so remember that a confused, cloudy PMO filled brain is going to want to trick you on a daily basis and therefore it's stupid to pay attention to it.


    If you have any other questions feel free to ask, this is basically all that helped me overcome my issues.

    Good luck and remember you're not alone!
     
  2. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

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  3. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

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    Please read my threads. Please. Help me.
     
  4. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    Ok man take a breather, stop for a second. You're pretty much me when HOCD first hit me.

    You're obsessed about it! You have to force yourself to stop doing everything that triggers you, you're putting too much importance on what is arousing you or not. Your brain is clouded by PMO, go for a 90 day reboot immediately.

    Stop paying attention to all that, the less importance you give it the more it will fade, it takes time though. Follow my methods for a few months and be patient.
     
    samir pasa likes this.
  5. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

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    Do you think I can be healed??? Please tell me.
     
  6. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

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    Also do you think its an ocd? How to cure it?
     
  7. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    You're already on your way to being healed, just accept that you have HOCD and everything else will be smooth sailing.
     
    samir pasa likes this.
  8. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

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    Hocd or trans ocd??
     
  9. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    That's just a variation, it's all the same in the end.

    https://ocdla.com
     
    samir pasa likes this.
  10. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

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    Then I think I can be healed. Please pray for me. I can't even think properly.
     
  11. Neophyte

    Neophyte Fapstronaut

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    What really helped me was not thinking of the possibility of being gay or bi as a bad thing. Truth is no one chooses their orientation, so just imagine if you were born gay, would you resist or accept it? This removed a lot of negative emotions for me because you realize there is nothing to be afraid of even if you were gay, you're just genuinely confused, but whatever the outcome may be, its okay. There is no win or lose in this situation as long as you are honest with yourself about what you want.
     
    dudeman13 likes this.
  12. DCFan2017

    DCFan2017 Guest

    Same over here. I had the thoughts, feelings, urges, and etc. One day at work I got butterflies like a crush and weird feelings for talking to one of my co workers. Then these other feelings start to come in a compulsion to check him out and more. Its like I was living in a gay body now. I ignored it all and it got better. You are on point @jest. It is all HOCD. HOCD has all types of ways to trick you by making you feel different ways and etc. Thanks for posting this thread. Good luck to you all.
     
    jest likes this.
  13. DCFan2017

    DCFan2017 Guest

    I can say that I've been very happy since I got my HOCD under control. I just stop giving a fuck. I can finally do anything I want instead of always worry and being sad all the time. It was so horrible that I didnt go out anymore. All I did was work and stay home for the rest of the day. It was hard to be at work but I had to force myself because I have to keep a roof over my head.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 7, 2017
    jest likes this.
  14. DCFan2017

    DCFan2017 Guest

    If I could do it. You can too @samir pasa . Trust me you will feel better. When you get the compulsions to look up stuff or get any weird urges think of your brain as if its healing when its doing that. Thats what helped me. Also what helped me is a memory I had back in highschool. I was on the football team. When we were at practice I couldn't stop looking at the cheerleaders so my coach made me go over there and look at them close up and tell the cheer leader coach why I was looking at them. It was funny and embarassing lol. I'm glad it happened because it sure did help me get over this crazy monster. Message me anytime. I will be glad to help.
     
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  15. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much bro. Hopefully we all will recover from porn someday. Again thank you so much for taking your time to help me. I got more help from this site than in real life! Thanks to all.
     
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  16. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    I think it can be approached very simply. Choose to value something else. You cannot keep thoughts from popping into your head, but you can choose to think about something else. I keep getting spam calls on my phone. I choose to not spend time listening to spam. They call, I hang up. When I get thoughts that I do not like, I choose to not waste time in them. I go on to helpful thoughts and spend my time there.
    If you choose to become an engineer, you have to spend time in math, and you have to avoid spending time on things that will not help you become an engineer. When you have something that is important to you, it becomes easy to give up spending time on other things.

    What do you think is important for your future?
    Spend your time thinking there. Other thoughts will fade with old fads.
     
    jest likes this.
  17. Great stuff!
    I would add that we have to accept that the heroin like dopamine hit is NOT healthy - and that normal healthy sex is not going to be like that its going to feel milder -but that is actually good.
     

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