HOCD is killing me

Rosh720 said:
day two of my flatline hocd is driving me crazy nearly smothering my real voice in my head anyone else experience this
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Hi Rosh720! I think i had this. At times I'd get a really strong urge making me think I really, really want those types of compulsive behaviors. And yeah it almost overtook my mind to where it felt like it was really ME wanting that. But now that I look back I don't think it really was.

I think these things are like how Eckhart Tolle describes the "pain body". They are like little creatures that lay dormant within me and then wait to feed. Then they trick me into a PMO binge. Then I get a week or 2 clean because they are "digesting" the food. But when they get hungry again, here come the urges.

Its just a visualization or a concept but what it means to me is that if I don't "feed" them, they will begin to die, or go somewhere else for food. And when they realize they are almost dead or is time to find a new home, they put up the biggest fight, because they are hungriest. But if I just don't "feed" them, they will pass away or go somewhere else.

So basically when the urges get to be the worst that helps me hang in there.
 
PMO addict said:
Hi Rosh720! I think i had this. At times I'd get a really strong urge making me think I really, really want those types of compulsive behaviors. And yeah it almost overtook my mind to where it felt like it was really ME wanting that. But now that I look back I don't think it really was.

I think these things are like how Eckhart Tolle describes the "pain body". They are like little creatures that lay dormant within me and then wait to feed. Then they trick me into a PMO binge. Then I get a week or 2 clean because they are "digesting" the food. But when they get hungry again, here come the urges.

Its just a visualization or a concept but what it means to me is that if I don't "feed" them, they will begin to die, or go somewhere else for food. And when they realize they are almost dead or is time to find a new home, they put up the biggest fight, because they are hungriest. But if I just don't "feed" them, they will pass away or go somewhere else.

So basically when the urges get to be the worst that helps me hang in there.
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Thanks for your input man I gave in a little and looked at pictures of women and edged. I won’t count this as a relapse because I needed it but I now regret it. Man this is harder than I thought I know I’m not gay but I’m damn near convinced there’s a chance now. This is my hardest streak, one streak... my first one which was more than two days on the third day I was fine again so this is sorta putting me down but it is what it is I just gotta keep fighting. Wish me luck
 
Rosh720 said:
Thanks for your input man I gave in a little and looked at pictures of women and edged. I won’t count this as a relapse because I needed it but I now regret it. Man this is harder than I thought I know I’m not gay but I’m damn near convinced there’s a chance now. This is my hardest streak, one streak... my first one which was more than two days on the third day I was fine again so this is sorta putting me down but it is what it is I just gotta keep fighting. Wish me luck
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Thanks for sharing.



(get it? because they are root vegetables!)
 
PMO addict said:
Hi Rosh720! I think i had this. At times I'd get a really strong urge making me think I really, really want those types of compulsive behaviors. And yeah it almost overtook my mind to where it felt like it was really ME wanting that. But now that I look back I don't think it really was.

I think these things are like how Eckhart Tolle describes the "pain body". They are like little creatures that lay dormant within me and then wait to feed. Then they trick me into a PMO binge. Then I get a week or 2 clean because they are "digesting" the food. But when they get hungry again, here come the urges.

Its just a visualization or a concept but what it means to me is that if I don't "feed" them, they will begin to die, or go somewhere else for food. And when they realize they are almost dead or is time to find a new home, they put up the biggest fight, because they are hungriest. But if I just don't "feed" them, they will pass away or go somewhere else.

So basically when the urges get to be the worst that helps me hang in there.
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Thanks for that advice. It really hits home. i've also sort of thought this. I think it's true. Hopefully I'll remember to put that up on my wall so I can get a daily reminder when I need it.
 
sherif1987 said:
Thanks for that advice. It really hits home. i've also sort of thought this. I think it's true. Hopefully I'll remember to put that up on my wall so I can get a daily reminder when I need it.
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LOL omg you're going to put my post on your wall? Haha I didn't think anyone would like any of my posts THAT much.

Well I hope it works for you :) Or if you don't put it up then I hope the idea just comes to your mind at the right moment.
 
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