HOCD or gay?

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Oh Susannah -James Taylor

Fapstronaut
I’m not gay but I had started to become very turned on by gay porn before I quit PMO 13 days ago. It was a feeling like nothing before. It felt so different, wrong, and taboo and it made me more turned on than I ever have been before, but I don’t think I’m gay. I had been watching porn for 8 years and spent the majority of the time watching lesbian porn before I switched over to POV and then eventually gay pov. Quitting is challenging because the videos made me feel so good and I even started to have fantasies about having gay sex as the submissive one. At one point, I made an anonymous grinder account too but I deleted it very soon after. I know when guys are good looking but I’m not attracted to them in real life like I’m attracted to women. I’m only attracted to them in porn when I’m the submissive pov. Do you think I’m gay?
 
I read people’s threads and it’s pretty common for the addiction of porn to lead to gay porn. Your brain is looking for the “high” and the more intense the more the brain “likes it”. There is also the submissive part. You are used to masturbating which is a very passive thing to do. Because you dont do a lot of the “work” to get the Orgasm. So your brain is on submissive mode. As a heterosexual man you are supposed to be the active(not submissive) one. Think about it... you have to court and “convince “ a woman to have sec with you. Then once you are having sex, you -the man-, is the one doing the moving in and out of the vagina. There you are the active one.

With gay porn, your brain “likes” being submissive. In other words, it likes just sitting there and “receiving,” That’s because that’s what you do when you masturbate. Just sit there and your hand is doing all the work( not your penis).

so if you stop PMO , your brain will rewire to an active sexual man.

im not saying that gay men are experiencing this but you clearly have no attraction to men so you are not gay.
 
Thank you so much! I honestly never thought about it like that but the connections you made all make so much sense. I’m 14 days no PMO and I realize that one minute I might feel like I have this thing all figured out then the next minute I might be having tough urges, but this community has been so helpful. PMO is the one addiction that most people just don’t even know about
 
Oh Susannah -James Taylor said:
I’m not gay but I had started to become very turned on by gay porn before I quit PMO 13 days ago. It was a feeling like nothing before. It felt so different, wrong, and taboo and it made me more turned on than I ever have been before, but I don’t think I’m gay. I had been watching porn for 8 years and spent the majority of the time watching lesbian porn before I switched over to POV and then eventually gay pov. Quitting is challenging because the videos made me feel so good and I even started to have fantasies about having gay sex as the submissive one. At one point, I made an anonymous grinder account too but I deleted it very soon after. I know when guys are good looking but I’m not attracted to them in real life like I’m attracted to women. I’m only attracted to them in porn when I’m the submissive pov. Do you think I’m gay?
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I haven't watched gay porn but I've seen transgendered person porn.

I'll be honest in the world of porn and fantasy your brain escalates to visual stimulation and I'm not surprised how people can escalate to things like this .
It's all to do with dopamine your brain loves it, and eventually it doesn't give a shit what material you watch if it gives you a kick in dopamine and youve escalted and find porn addictive then simply for stimulation you could escalate to this . That is in the realm of porn

reality is very very different

I've watched transgendered person porn but could never get with one , that shit would have you thinking your gay. But in reality you could never get with a dude

Escalation is very real, porn is a drug and it can play games with your head

From a young age we are conditioned to watch porn with a female and a male , we are seeing other males banging a women , and have done for years and from a young age. Some escalate to transgendered person porn where in the fantasy the women has her own dick .

You see where things can go..
You've seen that male banging away for years you accustom porn with a dick the fact you watch that is because you have escalated to derive more dopamine

Porns pretty warped , these images give your brain an intense level of dopamine and your brain loves it , it gets to the point it needs more and more , and different things , what didn't do it at all for you before now has the potential to. Because your neural pathways are wiring up this way .
Bear in mind that is in the realm of porn . But think about the reality the more you give into this addiction for dopamine the more distanced from reality you become . Porn can cause erectile dysfunction because you reward centre in the brain is so desensitized to what naturally turns you on

Sounds like escalation . You should work it out in your mind and stop . You will begin to see , it for what it is . Porn is degenerate
Why do you think people seem to escalate to child porn beastiality etc etc . Our brains are in a fantasy land on porn and it's a drug people escalate to more and more bizarre, it just seems to be what happens , if something is new novel and has taboo to it People or caused anxiety it can stimulate and can be like a kink. Even though in
reality it is ver very different .

Save yourself a head ache shame, depression , etc etc stop watching porn and focus on real life even if it seems boring ( you will resensitise). Chronic porn use will inevitably make you escalate to the point some of the gross shit doesn't even bother you .

It's degenerate, it's a drug and it's fantasy , it damaging and destructive. Look at you now thinking your gay. Avoid porn for a bit then go out and imagine if you could meet a guy. I doubt it

With me it was transgendered person porn . I could never bang a transgendered person or a dude , but the escaltion had made this genre stimulating because normal porn had after 18 years become boring. When I avoid it I go back to normal.

This is escalation and addiction
 
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Luvspin68 said:
How long have you been able to abstain from transgendered person porn?
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when I first saw this porn about 15 years ago it turned my stomach and I didn't watch it , then about 5 years later I saw it and watched it then a couple more times and disgusted me fairly quickly
I didn't watch it again for about 8 years,

I've only been watching it for a few weeks , I think it is the novelty that gets me when I do, but it doesn't last long and after a few weeks or so I just stop watching it. Usually when the novelty wears off I begin to see it as it really is and it doesn't do anything for me.

Within the periods of time when I don't watch I mean we're talking years , I watch regular porn, but ultimately I want to stop watching it all together

To answer your question I haven't watched it in a few days and the novelty is wearing off already so I'd like to think I can stop watching this again and just generally try and stop watching porn , or just much less

The reason why I probably find it more difficult currently is because my testosterone is high , high test increases dopamine production , and the novelty of this boosts dopamine and ultimately has been more engaging

But as I say it's literally only been a few weeks and the entire genre is becoming boring and pretty gross, gross I'n the way I'm not attracted to it (gay)

I think its just that initial buzz which only occurs if I've been watching regular stuff for too long .

At some point I want to stop watching it all together

Over the long periods of time where I don't watch it , but have stumbled across it I can't watch it because it turns me off.... So the occasions with big gaps inbetween I end up watching it i.think it's down to.wwtching too much regular stuff.

I've read watching too much porn has a negative impact on the frontal lobes and the more you watch the more dopamine you need , I think watching this guff after escalation can leave you more susceptible to the fantasy element and not the reality

In a way for the dudes who bang transgendered person's it's kind of the ultimate date rape drug( that might be a bit harsh, but it's kind of true)
 
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