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HOCD, PMO, depression, AGE 16 HELP WILL BE APPRECIATED!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by SadnLow, Dec 8, 2018.

  1. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    Yeah porn has really messed with me. Slowly but surely brotha
     
  2. Hey man!

    I have a question for you: do you feel like you are good enough as a man? And that you have what it takes?

    Some other questions to ponder on are: How are your thoughts about your future and dreams you have? What other men in your life can you be yourself with, like your dad?
     
  3. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    I’ve never thought of my self as less of a man. I just be the Best that I can. My thoughts on my future is that I wanna make the world a better place and keep it positive for everyone around me. I don’t “hide” my self from people. I’m always my self. And I can be my self around my dad matter of fact I skipped school to hand out with my dad. We went shopping for the house and we are doing laundry right now. I wanna beat this PMO Addiction that caused this ocd. Cause at the end of the day I wanna pass with my kids and wife beside me along with everyone in my life that’s important, I applogize for the extended response
     
  4. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    I apologize for going ghost. But I’m still going strong and I plan on striveing for the big 30 days then 60 after that, then ultimately 90 days.
     
  5. No problem - quantity of words doesn't scare me. In fact, the more you elaborate, the more understanding comes to both the reader and even the writer. :)

    What is it you feel when using transwoman porn that you do not feel when you are around living people - or even when you would look at straight porn with only women?
     
  6. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    Like a “high” so to speak. Like the taboo. Very hard to explain. I used to watch straight or girl on girl stuff like it was tv. So I think it stoped giving me that rush. And stared watching tporn.
     
  7. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    Day 6: woke up earlier than my alarm and I’m gonna have a good day I can feel it. I hope the best for y’all.
     
  8. Nah, I think the high of the taboo explains it quite well. Even t he first two people, Adam and Eve fell for the seduction of the unknown and the forbidden :)

    What other exciting (non-sexual) things do you do in your life, something that you could look forward to? Do you like hiking, going out on adventures? Do you camp with other buddies of yours or go for fishing trips? Who do you discuss your dreams about the future and different crazy ideas with?
     
  9. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    Day 7: going to try a cold shower I’ve seen a lot of threads talking about the benefits of it. May you all have a good day.
     
  10. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    I like to work out. I’ve done it for sports in the past but I no longer do organized sports. I try to do well I. School. And I like video games. I moved away from my best friends so i talk to my parents about my hopes and dreams.
     
  11. Best advise to you: stop using porn for good. Believe me, I've seen it all, like you have always assumed I'm straight, but then you discover porn, start of with vanilla, then hentai, transwoman, then gay porn, or whatever, then your brain settles on something like sissy hypno or some other messed up stuff that is absolutely depressing. Do yourself a favor and avoid getting to that final stop. I too have hooked up with men in real life supposing I'm gay but like others have walked away since it's felt so goddamn unnatural. Objectification in porn is extremely powerful, but then you meet up with a man and know with every fiber in your body that you are NOT gay. It's pretty embarassing to say the least. Desinsitization sucks. Fuck pmo. Tell it to scew itself but never yourself.
     
    SadnLow and Deleted Account like this.
  12. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    Manny thanks for your imput. I plan on beating this and ending porn for good.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    Day 8: feeling good been talking to this girl and she’s pretty hot. I’m also starting to apply for jobs in my area since I moved. Good night to you all
     
  14. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    Day 9: I never though I would make it this far. It’s nice seeing progress. Hope y’all have a good day
     
  15. Easy bro, you are perfectly normal at age of 16 with your thoughts. You are not gay, just watching too much shitty porn.
     
    SadnLow likes this.
  16. tiredofdoingthis

    tiredofdoingthis Fapstronaut

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    I have OCD and have had issues with HOCD. I will say I'm amazed that you are able to talk with your parents about this. I have read something a few times that resonates with OCD or HOCD for that matter. You almost have to let go of the knowing for sure. It's almost as if you say, "Well, what if I'm gay?" "Maybe I am." I'm not saying that you are. I definitely think you are not. They OCD "stuck" mechanism is the wondering. You almost have just give in and say what if. So, I'm a married man of 15 years. 2 kids. Never any interest in being with a guy in life. Unfortunately, after getting board and not getting dopamine hit that I used to, I have looked at bi/gay porn some over the past couple of years. Now, I know I'm not gay or bi. Could I be? If I was, what would that mean? I have no intention of changing my life....no desire to....try not to worry yourself too much with this. OCD is bad news. I have OCD, anxiety and depression and have for most all of my life.
     
    SadnLow likes this.
  17. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    I’m guessing the “stuck” mechanism with ocd is obsessing over the thoughts could that be a reason? But yeah I have trust in my parents and my dad even said he has had same thing as me but he didn’t obsess over it. He just let it go, over time with hard core reset it’s been working and it’s only day 10. I meditate to calm the brain down, also it helps with my anxiety. Thank you for your advice.
     
  18. tiredofdoingthis

    tiredofdoingthis Fapstronaut

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    You have amazing parents. I'm pretty sure my dad had OCD. One conversation kind of confirmed that. He didn't give me any advice to go on like your dad did. Good to hear that the reset it working. Yeah, the obsessions in my thoughts tend to drive the depression and anxiety. The more we can let go of the "what if's" the better!
     
    SadnLow likes this.
  19. SadnLow

    SadnLow Fapstronaut

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    Day 11: my head was in the clouds. Time was really slow in school so it was pretty boring. It’s almost Christmas break so I can’t lift. I’ll have to do calisthenics until school.
     
    Grandpa61 likes this.
  20. Grandpa61

    Grandpa61 Fapstronaut

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    @SadnLow, you are suffering from escalation and desensitization my friend!

    The following is a passage from the book You’re Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson:

    A 2016 study reports that it’s now common for men to view porn inconsistent with their stated sexual identity. Heterosexual-identified men report viewing porn containing male same-sex behaviour (20.7%) and gay-identified men report viewing heterosexual behaviour in porn (55.0%).​

    Sadly, ignorance of how common it is to escalate, paired with ignorance of how often quitting reverses porn tastes, can leave a porn consumer very anxious. When users become obsessed with sexual-orientation doubts they refer to it as SOCD or HOCD, that is, ‘sexual-orientation (orhomosexual) obsessive-compulsive disorder’.​

    I highly recommend this book!
     
    SadnLow likes this.

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