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HOCD, porn addiction. Whats the problem????

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Nipneko, Jan 10, 2018.

  1. Nipneko

    Nipneko Fapstronaut

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    Hi,

    I am a 29 years old guy. Since one year I can’t stop panic about being gay and because of that I will not be able to love and have sex with women. The problem started when I was looking to a picture of a nude girl on internet and my body had no reaction and it happen multiple times, and I can’t understand why, because before I had not problem to get hard when I was looking at a picture like this. Since this time, I can’t stop testing myself to prove to me that I am not gay. I look at gay porn one time, but I didn't like it. When I walk on the street or in shopping center, when I see a man, I feel weird, I want to run away. I can’t say if it’s because I am attracted to men or anxious. I think that I can have HOCD, but my brain can’t stop saying to me that I live in denial about my orientation. Also it’s more difficult to me since this time to have a erection, but when I can have one it’s when I think or saw a girl, so I say to myself: You are not gay, you just got hard at the view of this women. But my brain can't stop saying to me: Your life is a lie, you are gay. Also I find that my libido is down. Did the HOCD can cause erection problem and libido problem? Also many time I have intrusive gay thoughts, and I hate that, these thoughts are stronger when I want to masturbate on a picture of a nude woman.

    I don't think I am addict to porn, because I wasn't very interested in that. What I like the most are pictures sets and videos of woman doing a striptease. I have a big collection of this in my PC, before I really like to spend time to masturbate on this, before I got my job. I masturbate 4-5 times a day, 7 days a week on this. When I got my job, I had less time to do this and I think my problem started at this time. So I decide to watch straight porn in hope to get my fantasy back, but instead of doing this, I started to freak, because I got an erection, but I didn't know if it's because of the sexual act between a men and woman or if it is because I was attracted to the guy. So I decided to stop watching porn.

    I never had a sexual experience with a girl, because I am a very shy guy and have a low esteem of myself.

    Thanks for reading me and sorry for my english, I am a french canadian
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  2. Don't PMO, and see what happens. HOCD is very common here. It often goes away after a while away from Porn.
     
    Hurted, MatthewGrün and Clean Plate like this.
  3. I appreciate you coming here and saying this. I feel as though I might have this.
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  4. Arohamystic

    Arohamystic Fapstronaut

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    The best way to not have HOCD is to not care whether you are gay or not.
    Have the attitude: "I might be straight, I might be gay, I might be bi. At the moment, I don't know - however I am committed to self discovery and learning more about myself. I won't panic or be fearful because each of these options are perfectly fine. I will relax and listen to the deepest part of my heart."
     
    MatthewGrün and Deleted Account like this.
  5. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    I think you may be right. I always watched hetero porn and after awhile I started to think I was gay to because I felt somewhat weird/attracted to men. Not as much as women though. My porn addiction may have put me on the borderline of being bi-sexual. I still need more PMO free days under my belt for my brain to heal. Yesterday I was turned on by some older women at work and lustful thoughts started to creep in. PMO can induce who the fuck knows what gay/lesbian/trans/beastiality. Stay away from it, I had to learn that the hard way. Good luck to the OP.
     
    chiyu likes this.
  6. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    Not in the PMO addiction mindsate. I'm sure that thats not the "true you", its like being drunk, your mind is clouded and you cant think straight. Having a substantial amount of abstinence from porn clears up the "brain fog" associated with PMO addiction, same as any other addiction weed, alcohol, pain killers, etc.
     
  7. Arohamystic

    Arohamystic Fapstronaut

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    I agree - and that is exactly why he shouldn't think about "HOCD" at all during the reboot phase, he can then do some soul searching after. :)

    BTW: I find this statement to be quite troubling - lumping three valid expressions of humanness with bestiality is not cool, bro.
     
  8. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    I said "who the f*&% knows what..." I should have put in "etc" in there. Porn has so many subgenres now its like the twilight zone. Sorry for the offense.
     
    Arohamystic likes this.
  9. Arohamystic

    Arohamystic Fapstronaut

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    All good, bro. I really appreciate your passion against porn - it is so important for us to have no tolerance for it at all! And yes - our minds will become a lot clearer after eradicating porn from our lives (and from that point people will have a clearer understanding of their sexuality).
    All the best!
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  10. I agree that it's okay to be whatever you may be, be it gay or straight or transsexual. But don't let porn cloud your decision making or make your decision for you. I was into a strange breed of porn that basically tells you to be gay and to take on the thoughts of a woman. But I'd finish and feel sick and out of place. I decided that it's okay even if I am gay, but that doesn't mean I have to watch this porn or that I should.

    Logically, if I have to watch this porn in order to make myself feel "gay" and to achieve that sort of a feeling when I don't feel like it in general then Im more than likely just straight with a really sick porn addiction.
     
    Arohamystic likes this.
  11. Arohamystic

    Arohamystic Fapstronaut

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    That's a great explanation @Cmv120. :)
     
  12. Thank you :) I hope the original poster can read English well enough to get this. Lol you're not alone, dude.

    If your gay thoughts are generally repulsive to you then you are probably not gay, but you can get caught in a pattern of thinking that is unhealthy. ESPECIALLY if you've never actually been with a woman, bro, since you don't have that experience to remember and say "Yea, I liked that"
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  13. Nipneko

    Nipneko Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot guys for your answers. I am really happy to find this website. I am currently seeing a therapist, that's help a lot to understand what I am living right now. My therapist said that it's really possible that I suffer of HOCD. Because when I talk to him about my life, he found nothing that could bring to the conclusion to a possible homosexuality, because people can't turn gay and because I was really attracted to girls before my problems, so being exclusively gay is impossible. Just today I saw a hot girl at the shopping centre, I got hard and 10 minutes after I was afraid of being gay again.

    I don't know why my life is like that now, because, I can't say I am a porn addict, I watch my first porn video at 22, I am 29 right now and I probably watch around 30-40 hours of porn in my whole life. But I spend a lot of time to look and masturbate at pictures of womens, the website I like the most is onlytease, I spend a lot of money on this site. Can we consider this like porn addiction or it's not? Also is it possible that I am less attracted to woman right now, because I spend to much time looking at pictures, that my body is no longer impress by a picture of a nude woman?
     
  14. 19m

    19m Fapstronaut

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    guys i have this same problem but got it from porn. is it the same resemblance ?
     
  15. It’s possible. I am married to a woman and went from straight to bi to gay porn. Hoping nofap helps me figure out the true me.
     
  16. Nipneko

    Nipneko Fapstronaut

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    You are straight, don't let the porn decide what is your side. You probably watch too much straight porn, so your brain became tried of this so he switch to bi and when he became tired of bi, he switch to gay. You start with straight porn, because that what you are, a straight person and thats what you like, sex between man and woman.

    I have a little comparaison: I like pizza, it's my favorite meal, so I want to eat pizza many times, because I like that. But if I eat pizza each days, one time, my body will be tired to eat that all the time, so he will switch to another meal. But that does not mean I will never be able to like pizza again.
     
    Matt53585 likes this.
  17. You need to understand that pictures of women stripping is porn. There are lots of different types of porn: camming, sexting, erotic stories. It does not have to be videos of sex. You are more of a porn addict than you realise @Nipneko.
     
    Deleted Account and Clean Plate like this.
  18. 19m

    19m Fapstronaut

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    THANK YOU GUYS im on day 15 of no masturbating to porn and i just have doubts
     
  19. Nipneko

    Nipneko Fapstronaut

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    Well for over a year, I obsess about the fear of being gay, but I start to realize, that my real problem is my porn addiction. And by reading stories about HOCD, I saw that many people who suffer of this are porn addict also. I think it's time for me to change my life.
     
  20. Well said. I'm familiar with some of that stuff and I think it can be quite dangerous and confusing. Some of it actually demands you stop thinking and just do and act like they tell you. It's really screwed up if you think about it - I mean who are these fools to tell me what to do and how to think? They have no right, and I will not allow them (whoever the hell they are) to play their mind-control games with me. Getting away from this kind of psychologically intrusive P and in fact all P in general is really important, so our true nature, whatever that may be, can have time to re-emerge.
     

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