HOCD, tranny, sissy explained - PMO as a bisexual/homosexual act

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ultrafabber, Dec 13, 2019.

  1. fitbro09

    fitbro09 Fapstronaut

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    Something that's helped me a lot is learning to "become my own man" so to speak, and become more secure in my masculinity and sexuality. Getting fit and earning the kind of body I'm attracted to has been a big part of that, but there's a lot more that goes into it as well.
     
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  2. Surfer760

    Surfer760 Fapstronaut

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    Okay everyone here seems to know what they are talking about and I could really use your guys help. I've always known I am a straight man I'm 21 yo and when I was younger I never had a problem getting boners from girls and looking up naked photos of women and hot chicks. I started watching porn at a very young age around like 13 and I never had a hard time getting girls and having small little gfs. Although to this day I have never penetrated a woman's pussy which is heartbreaking and I know I want to. First time I ever had the chance of getting laid was senior year I was 18 and had the chance of fucking the prom queen and I couldnt get my dick up. It was maddening and I wanted to curse at god. I wondered if it was because of porn or maybe stage fright or something. I thought "why on every party bus every girl that gave me a lap dance I wanted to sleep with, and now that I have this smoking hot chick on top of me naked I cant fuck". I was so distraught and heart broken flash forward 3 years still watching porn and had the opportunity to fuck this other chick and I failed again. It can be so depressing I started thinking am I bi? what the fuck is wrong with me ? why am I not like other guys fucking countless girls all the time. Never have I ever watched gay porn or been in love with a guy I have alot of friends and I love them like brothers but I dont chase men. Of course theres guys who I think "oh hes a attractive man I wanna dress like him hes cool whatever" but never oh I wanna fuck them ya. I want to chase women the way I used to and be crazy about them like I used to. I dont want to be gay or bi I'd rather die before i turned but for some reason theres this thought in my head that scares me if i am and it wont leave me alone now Im scared to talk to any girl when that was never the case back then I had bigger balls and would go up to any chick. I dont anything against gay people or bi people I know people who are, but I know deep down I am a straight man whos lost and confused and I want someone to help me. I am constantly checking "does porn turn you gay" "losing interest in women" online and I dont want to anymore I just want to live my life I want a gf, future wife and kids and go back to the way I used to be back then.
     
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  3. Penninesandcheviots

    Penninesandcheviots Fapstronaut

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    You're not gay dude, you just got PIED. You said yourself you have no interest in men sexually whatsoever.
     
  4. Surfer760

    Surfer760 Fapstronaut

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    What do you suggest man any tips, stories, pointers, advise?
     
  5. Supination

    Supination Fapstronaut

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    You have PIED and maybe developed a little bit of OCD. Quit porn for a good amount of time. I'd suggest to quit forever, for good! Get your erections quality back to normal and you'll be fine. It might take a few months but it's worth it and then try rewiring with a real women. You have nothing else to lose anyway, right? Know that your'e not alone. So many of us are battling with the same case.
    Good luck!
     
  6. zebrapass

    zebrapass New Fapstronaut

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    Op is correct and it makes me so fucking sad. Like many of you I was at first attracted to vanilla women. My first time cumming was at night at it was from dreaming about fucking this hot amazon women with big tits. But than I found porn. Then at age 14 I discovered hentai shemale porn and hentai body changes. Women fucking women? Awesome.i jerked off to that for 8 years. Also sometimes to body transformation and stuff like that. And it fucked me hard. I have a tough time getting attracted to girls. Watched a t porn and got an instant boner. I am also attracted to big dicks because of that. As soon as I see male features on the tranny the boner dies. WTF IS THIS?! How is this fair. Why is this stuff allowed. And now op is saying it’s irreversible. That’s it. I’m fucked. Nothing will delete those fetished THAT I WAS NOT BORN WITH. I am honestly thinking about ending it. Wtf. Why is this LEGAL?........? Why why whyyyyyy
     
  7. zebrapass

    zebrapass New Fapstronaut

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    So that’s it I’m fucked?.. only way is a bullet to the neurons from now?
     
  8. zebrapass

    zebrapass New Fapstronaut

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    Please no this cannot be. There must be a way back. I was born straight I don’t want to be attracted to trans please
     
  9. Neurostudent

    Neurostudent Fapstronaut

    No you misunderstand what I said, don’t worry. You can get to a place where you are effectively cured, where you will no longer have these fetishes. It’s just that if you were to watch porn again it would, “rejuvenate,” these fetishes. Porn addicts must quit for life. It’s just a simple fact.

    As for your fetishes, think about it like this. Do you remember your favourite Saturday morning cartoons? For me, it was Dragon Ball Z, Yu-Gi-Oh, Medabots, Avatar, and a host of others, some of which I barely remember. I very rarely think about these shows today. If I’m talking about it with someone the memories will come back and I’ll be like, “oh yeah I used to love that show!” That’s what your fetishes will be like. It’ll a memory of a time when you did like trans porn. You’ll forget about it.

    My advice for you though, start letting go of this anxiety about being attracted to transwomen. That anxiety is absolutely feeding your addiction and your fetish. Stop caring about it, and you’ll stop caring about it. It really is that simple my friend.
     
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  10. zebrapass

    zebrapass New Fapstronaut

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    I understand. So technically the connection will always be there, but effectively it can be classified as not there as long as I abstain from porn, find a GF and find enjoyment in sex again. I will of course have to guard myself against falling into old habits and starting the hall rolling, but it should be mostly as if it was never there right?
    So just quit porn cold turkey? Anything else I need to do?
     
  11. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    @Neurostudent any idea why my sexual fantasies got worse after starting nofap? All the shit your talking about surfaced only when I stopped, transexuals etc. Maybe it was buried in my subconscious after 15 years of watching porn?

    Also Im 13 months hardmode (one relapse at month 7) - and I still have sexual cravings, and all are regarding transexuals. Why would this start with nofap and continue like this? I barely watched transexual porn

    Maybe because this is most shocking thing my mind can create to produce largest amount of dopamine. At 13 months in its draining
     
  12. Neurostudent

    Neurostudent Fapstronaut

    This is actually a very interesting case, I've honestly never heard of something like this happening. Could you explain a bit more about how these fetishes arose? Like when did you notice them beginning to get more intense? How would you describe your attraction to transgender women? Is your desire exclusive to transgender women, or do you also feel attraction to women?
     
  13. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    are you still fantasizing/edging?
     
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  14. Freelancejoe16

    Freelancejoe16 New Fapstronaut

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    Wanted to share my story, I sent this to another person in this forum but I wanted others opinions as well if anyone has an input.

    Thing is Im not sure if its hocd, but I was watching a movie with a good looking actor then I started questioning if I was atrracted to him. It felt like I was, I felt this strong focus on his facial structure, eyes etc. I also felt like my groin reacted, it felt like my penis was moving, growing, etc. And felt this weird strong attraction/ obsession.

    I thought to myself "well this must be proof that I'm bi", and was feeling down for the rest of the day.

    I also had the urge to test myself, check my groin while looking at pictures of him, imaging kissing etc , trying to fully embrace this "atrraction".

    But I barely get a groinal response. It feels like i like it but it doesn't do anything for me like how a girl does. I tested back and forth with him and a woman. I got aroused easily focusing on the woman, then lost my arousal when i changed to him.

    I'm lost with this because I don't get these sudden strong "attractions" for girls and That's The gender that I like. Its like comparing this guy to the girl, in my perception it seemed like he was better looking. But checking my reaction to women is fully there, i couldn't even force an erection Looking at the guys face, but when I suddenly saw him in the movie and then when i googled him when he was my age I felt attracted.

    Is this false attraction?
     
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  15. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    About my 5th-6th of attempt at nofap around 3 months into my journey, when I got to my first 20-30 day streak, I remember reading about transexuals, and I checked to see if I that fantasy turned me on, and since then my brain has been creating shocking images of imaginary scenarios with transexuals. I must disclose I have a good imagination which makes all this harder. I never really suffered from PAWS btw and have slept with maybe 300-500 women.

    Yeah Im also attracted to women and have fantasies with them, but it always escalates to transexuals which my brain see as most taboo, and gives me the biggest hit of dopamine.

    @ivanhoe not consciously, but yeah I get attacked in cycles, usually every 90 days for a week Ill be plagued by them, starts off softcore nice stuff and escalates to dark twisted transexual shit, all I can do is to wait for it to pass
     
  16. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    are they urges or are you dwelling on them -let's say an image comes up, do you allow the image to run it's course?

    Are there some techniques you can do - have you tried looking into OCD and urge surfing techniques. some ocd techiques like 'naming' and labeling ' - 'oh there's that HOCD thought again". - I would suggest extensive reading in this area and finding what works for you.

    are there dietary/routine things you can do - exercise, lowering sugar?
    I am far from the most successful guy on this forum :) .. i have reset, relapsed- etc - but I am a hell of lot better off than if i just kept going with PMO and drinking - I shutter to think where I would be now - I am sure you're way better off too. Read up on successes here, again , look for concrete things they do that helps them. Try it, out.. if it works great, if not try something else. You'll find what works for you.

    When and why do these fantasies come up - remember this is NOT sex this is you talking to you -trying to fulfill some need -and it's not sexual. Sexual fantasy is trying to satiate something else - the same way eating disorders aren't about nutrition.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2020
  17. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I did not say it is irreversible. In fact, i am sure it is completely reversible. I just described why this happens so that people stop believing that there's something inherently wrong with them but rather understand that it's simply something acquired.

    The upside to it being acquired and any deviant sexuality (anything outside heterosexuality) being acquired is that it can be unlearned.

    Yes it is difficult if one started morphing his/her sexuality by porn and jerking off at a young age but it can be done, i am 100% sure of this.

    The same thing applies for people suffering from transgenderism.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2020
    ivanhoe likes this.
  18. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice. You can imagine at 13 months hardmode, I've tried pretty much everything, and had to fight every single urge your mind can throw at you.

    Unfortunately sexual fantasy does come up every 90 days or so, not much I can do about it right now, but its getting better every cycle of 90
     
  19. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    do you know why it might come up (anxiety, triggers?) it sounds like a consistent cycle similar to mine.
    Also sounds like you might be unconsciously 'edging' - or dwelling on fantasies vs. recurring thoughts.
    Some people - and unfortunately it looks like i am one of them too - just have to go much longer than ninety days to recover.
     
    Supination likes this.
  20. Readyforwar

    Readyforwar New Fapstronaut

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    It is crazy because after all these years I finally found somebody else describe exactly what I am going threw in close to 100% detail like the OP just described.

    When I first read the post I was happy because this is a issue that I cannot talk about to anybody around me. I also knew that I did not have just normal PIED.

    But with that being said.... WHAT ARE THE STEPS TO HELP WITH THIS SITUATION???

    I am not sure that the normal way to recover from regular Pied is all that is needed for this condition. Any help with this??
     

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