HOCD

Check out WildEntheology's podcasts/posts. They are very informative. So Far, Cutting porn, meditating, therapy and doing hard cardio exercise have helped me. Got to find new sources of dopamine. I still have severe ups and downs 73 days in.

 

OCD hit because your serotonin levels are low, you lack happy hormones, and porn also ruins this, you may be a bit depressed also. Stay away porn and masturbation for a while and you will see benefits quickly. Also don't use this site to reassure yourself, thats how ocd always has its hands on you, simply don't think about it, don't talk about it, don't write about it, or read about it. HOCD will become your obsession and the only reason you have it is because you actually have pure-o. I had it in the past I beat it only after not doing anything about anything for months. Don't put pressure into your mind, don't change it, leave it, accept it, it will eventually lose its power over you. Just stop giving thoughts so much emotional connection so the brain may stop to treat it like a flight or fight respond, your brain is working on things like you have a tiger in your room, you are probably bored out of your mind right now and this is how your brain is making up for all that boredom, by giving you things to worry about and somehow try to solve it, but thing is, you can't solve it, just make sure that you will never know 100% that you are straight, nothing in life is 100%. Good luck, and DM if you need any further advice, I was diagnosed with intrusive thoughts by a professional, I beat it once, it came back so I know how this works. I'm 33y

 

let me guess you masturbated and when on the edge of orgasm your mind think of something homosexual? correct, and that made you cum sooner?

Dude I had thoughts of sucking my own dick when masturbating, I'm not flexible to do that but its been bombarding my mind each time i think of that, still made me think if I would really do it since even when I masturbate I never have the same hand around my face, its constantly on my mind to clean it, so thats clear sign of repulsion but thing is that I actually like the smell of my downer parts when I masturbate, that made me think that I am attracted to my own junk, but all that shit is normal also, how else will you be able to fuck another woman if you were to be repulsed by your own natural body odor, ocd will make you think all sorts things to make you obsess

groinal or porn induced, only one way to find out, stay away 90days hard mode. I used to get no responds to tits pictures, and got them mostly to girls giving guys blowjobs, now 4days in and I'm already getting small movements to tits, just like the old days, my dick and body is clearly tired and it will scare you so you will fail staying away porn, you will always find escape in this, this is your brains way to keep you locked in porn.

Funny thing is wherever I get 10-20% erection to something artificial online that tends to become 100% if I am with somebody I know I'll fuck or anticipation of it, all this other crap online is not the same.

I can't tell you exactly much because I believe you are scared talking about some things a bit more with detail. Dude HOCD people had more that unwanted orgasm, they had sensation all over their body, anal, mouth, some were obsessing over mouth sensation making them feel like they wanna suck cock, or even group of cock. etc

I talk to a profession and I told him that ocd made me wanna test gay porn after 20 years of never checking it, didn't like it tho no excitment i try masturbate but wasn't able to cum, but still ocd can make you do things you would never really want and it make you test yourself again again and again

To try answer:
you may be condition to shock factor here, and its probably both PORN and OCD because you know you don't have HOCD if you have no groinal troubling you, i would say both. PORN is in a way feeding your OCD

 

I'm sorry to hear about your problems. They suck, don't they!

I hope that I can give you a little help and a little comfort.

To start, I see that you have different problems that have all come together and got mixed up. This is hardly surprising, because it's what happens.

People get addicted for a reason. Whether your choice of addiction is nicotine, alcohol, another drug, or not a drug such as gambling, porn, etc., there's a reason behind it.

The extra problem is that an addiction takes a problem, and makes it worse, and adds on new problems! As you yourself have seen, with groinal and HOCD problems.

What are the solutions?

Going clean

You need to stop your addiction. Like, right now!

You need to sit down with yourself, and make a solemn oath to yourself: That you will do whatever it takes to get off the addiction. No more porn! Start your 90-day hard mode, now!

If you have any other addiction — alcohol, nicotine, gambling, whatever — you need to stop those as well.

I'm not claiming that it will be easy, but it will be damn sight easier than continuing on your current path.

When you sit down, take a piece of paper, and write down all the things that up to now have triggered you. Everything.

Then, work out a plan to avoid the triggers where you can, and what you will instead of porn and masturbation when you can't avoid them.

Therapy

This is too big for you to do by yourself. Humans are social creatures, and we need to support each other. We'll support you here, of course. But you need real-world help, not just this forum.

Therapy. Frankly, I think that everyone in the world needs therapy at some point, but addicts are clearly people who need more than most. You need therapy to clear the problems that formed your childhood; that shaped your future; that give you your present problems.

Please find yourself therapy, preferably a therapist who understands your problems. You might want more than one therapist: One to deal with your OCD in general, and one to deal with your addiction. Both will deal with your other miscellaneous problems.

Hope

Know that you are hardly the first person to go through this, and know that other people have come through this successfully and changed their lives.

You can too!

I want you always to hold this hope in your heart, because it help you when those thoughts try to mess you up.

Going clean will help you tremendously with your HOCD, and possibly to some extent with your OCD in general.

Your OCD

Everyone has unhelpful thoughts.

Many people, when they get an unhelpful thought, dismiss it — "Oh, that's a silly thought."

Some people instead believe their thoughts and mistake them for reality. That can make them unhappy.

Some people — people with OCD — not only believe their thoughts but also play them in their head again and again.

That's my hint to you. When you get an unhelpful thought, don't play the OCD "game". Don't believe the thought. Don't play the thought in your head again and again. Just acknowledge the thought: "Oh, that's a silly thought." Then move on to a different thought. Any thought at all, as long as it's constructive.

You might find this difficult, even impossible, at first, because it takes practice. You've been practicing believing unhelpful thoughts and turning them around in your head again and again since you were 10. So, you are an expert at doing that!

But that doesn't stop you from learning a new skill. Your new skill, which you have to learn through practice, is to take an unhelpful thought, acknowledge it ("Oh, that's a silly thought"), and then think of something else ("Isn't the sun beautiful today!"; "What shall I have for supper tonight?"; "Let me telephone my friend right now"; "I did well at work today, didn't I?"; and so on).

There are times when OCD is useful. (I used to have OCD, albeit mild, luckily for me.) OCD is useful when I'm driving in difficult traffic: Check my mirror; look ahead to predict what cars might do; is there a pedestrian at that crossing? A surgeon needs OCD when operating, because a small mistake can lead to a big problem. But we don't need OCD all the time!

You, too, can learn to choose when you have OCD, so that you use it for the right purposes, and only for the right purposes.

I wish you the very best, @OCDer. Know that you can fix this. With a bit of help and with changes to how you use your thoughts, you will do it.

 

watching what is not one preference, sure, many do it, for an extra kick when other things get old, but what did you first start to watch? Some people watch porn outside of their orientation, but some watch it for years and I think they are probably bisexuals because why else would a straight men watch gay porn with no tits no ass for years. I just don't see a straight man for example watching gay porn for years and enjoy it. And yet yes there is taboo things in everything and people watch all sorts of things outside their interest. Hey I could be wrong.

Its hard to say, because we all different also. I know asexual that have no sexual attraction but still masturbate to porn, doesn't make them any less asexual. Dude here is a thing if you know ocd you probably know that arousal is nothing, you can get aroused by anything today. Anything sexual by nature can arouse a man, because its sexual by context, many men get aroused by dicks next to a woman, its even been studied that male TOP search for 4 things, boobs, ass, feet, and dicks yeah penis, pussy is like on 50th place, and this was studies on straight porn, was thig searched by gay people no, so what is up with dick attention... its a sign of masculinity and males can relate to a scene more when they see their package used, don't need to further fantasize anything.

Porn is hardly an indicator of orientation man. Getting orgasm to something you don't agree may be a sign of repression or ocd, I say this because you aren't being direct with what you orgasm to even, and you said disgusting, normally disgusting is something you wouldn't have easy time to orgasm, if you felt its disgusting you would probably get nowhere when fapping to it, it would be like fapping to a dogs asshole or some tunnel full of shit, I don't see people orgasm to that because that is by definition disgusting. To believe doesn't mean your body will agree with you. Deep down it may be a mental block. When my OCD was at highest it made me think if I see pussies as disgusting, but that didn't change the fact that I can cum very fast when masturbating to it, while If i watch a dude jerk off, I wouldn't get anywhere masturbating, so by saying one is disgusting or not, you can't help your body telling you the truth, just like men can't help not getting erect next to a woman, even if they told themselves she is ugly, brain and body will tell him otherwise and he will have no control over it.

Don't lie to yourself, don't repress anything. Be open and accept whatever you orgasm to, don't try to solve it, there is nothing to solve.

 

People who get HOCD find that, after a hard reboot, the HOCD starts to go away. When they haven't watched porn for a long time, the HOCD disappears.

Maybe you're different, because of your OCD. I don't know. But the evidence is strong that porn is bad for your brain. So, please stop using porn.