Hocd

I do not know really where to start on this. I have been looking at porn for 20 years. I would say that in my late teens I began watching gay porn here and there.
In my mid 20's I had a few encounters but it really was not what I was expecting.
There has only been 1 man that I was attracted to and we fooled around once or twice when we were drunk. We were/are both straight and it was nothing serious.
There were 2 other men I met strictly for the purpose of engaging in oral sex. It happend and it really did not do anything for me. I enjoy watching online, even fantasizing about it but not actually doing it.
As my wife and I have grown further apart I find myself relying on porn and sexual fantasy to meet my needs. I am nervous that should my wife and I seperate that I will be tempted to fufill my desires.