Homosexual curiosity and thoughts

Your curiosity could be porn induced, but do try not to be so hard on yourself at such a young age; your body and brain are going through many changes. Please stay away from the porn and put all of your focus on your education. Your number 1 priority in life right now should be getting the best grades possible, so you can go to college on scholarship(s) and not take out massive amounts of student loans. Porn will steal a great amount of your time, future potential, and depending upon how your were raised, your relationships with girls. Your thoughts and urges will pass, they will always pass, so do not act. I wish someone would have told me that when I was your age. Most importantly, please know that porn will NEVER...EVER fix your problems. Go play outside with your friends and start reading books that you like to read, not just what is assigned to you in your classes. On a side note, stay way/abstain from all drugs and alcohol until you graduate from high school, you'll thank me later.

 

Great advice from cdp5089.

You ask about masturbation. I think most on this forum are looking to stay away from both porn and masturbation. I'm married, so I don't have orgasm on my "no" list, but only do that as part of the relationship with my wife.

Your porn usage/addiction isn't a factor of how smart you are. Porn is just addictive and harmful. I'm pretty smart, too. Valedictorian in high school, full-ride college scholarship, etc. I was taught porn was bad. But was too afraid to get help and admit that I had seen it and was using it. If you can trust your parents or a teacher or someone who can give you safe, good advice, I suggest you try that. You don't need to struggle alone. This is pretty common, though I think many don't feel it's a "big deal". But you know how you feel about it, so you need to honor your own feelings and if you can find someone who will respect that and help you, then that would be awesome.

I don't think anyone can really answer whether or not your homosexual thoughts that you've had and interest is only from porn or not. You'll figure it out with time. You don't need to be in any rush to figure that out.

You can check out my recent posts for my background, but the short of it is when I was 14 I started looking at porn. I was curious and wanted to see naked men, too. To compare or learn or whatever. For me, I decided that looking at men was less bad than looking at women as I am a man and I was not "spoiling"/exploiting girls for myself as much. I'm 32 now and I can't even say today whether it was the porn or if the interest in seeing naked guys was just already there and I discovered it with porn or something. For me, I don't really need an answer. What I know is I've got a happy life and love (and am physically attracted to) my wife and love our kids. Am I gay or bisexual? I don't label myself as such, even though I still sometimes get that draw or rush or whatever if I see a guy that I find sexually attractive.

 

Yeah, they will pass. We live in a world were homosexuality is pretty commonplace and in our face now, so it's natural for our brains to become more curious. I'm 15 years older than you and so I remember a time where homosexuality was heavily demonized here in the US. Humanity has come a really long way when it comes to LGBTQ people and issues. One day you will understand that your sexual identity comes down to who love; sex, to a certain extent, and your fetishes are a completely different animal.

I have had gay thoughts myself over the years (in my 20's), but always came back to the conclusion that I just can't love a man in the same way that I can a woman. If you were gay, the opposite would be true. If you were bi, both would be true.

Glad to hear you're doing well in school! No matter what, excel at that!

It's difficult to keep your mind from your thoughts and fantasies; try to process them as best you can and definitely talk with someone about them. Masturbation can definitely bring temporary relief and I'm sure it is healthy for you; however, at your age, you cannot be looking at porn right now. Despite your intelligence, your brain is just not developed enough to handle all of the content that is out there. I fear for kids nowadays because porn has escalated so much in such a small amount of time.

Start by cutting back to once a week, non school days/nights (weekends only), and then see how long you can go with out it. After you can go for 30 days, you really lose the desire to watch porn. Get off of social media too, which can trigger you easy.

 

Most likely, yes. You will still have to go through puberty to fully flesh out your sexual preference(s), but there should be no reason to doubt that you are a straight male as of today. I have always been a bit strange myself (in a good way) and have a very large and vivid imagination, so I always figured that any homo or bi-sexual thoughts that I had were due to that and porn just exacerbated those thoughts to peak levels.

 

Cool. Feel free to reach out anytime. You'll be fine, don't let those thoughts bring you anymore anxiety. You are not your thoughts.

 

Just learn to live without it. You can't cut it out of your life completely without replacing it with something else. You are still young and you have not been doing it for long so the time to quit is now. Trust me when I was your age, I was dead inside. Couldn't feel a thing, like I was on drugs.
Maybe try to work out, read books (worked for me) and be out with your friends as much as you can. In general just fill your daily life with all sorts of things in order not to feel the urge to masturbate. Activate safe search in your PC and add porn blockers (helped me kick it off in the beginning) in order to not be tempted to masturbate
Just take the first step and end this today. Trust me one day you will look back and be proud upon yourself

 

your body doesn't need PMO. I recommend this channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVNxAbNSubtX6YPRZGy-hzA
it really helped me a a lot on my journey.
This is his famous quote:
stay true to yourself, follow the light in your heart, walk your highest path, fly on wings of love

Good luck, and may the force be with you

 

The biggest thing for you to cut out is Porn, thats where you need to start. Take it one day at a time

 

You're not gay. Trust me. Porn just f*cks up your mind and your mind is craving much more crazy and different types of pleasure. Stop PMOing, and focus on school work like someone mentioned. Trust me man, please for the love of God trust me! The earlier you quit this addiction, the better you will be in the future. You're not gay or anything, you're straight from what I can tell. The mind is trying to fool you to get that dopamine rush into your brain to feel good. Do not, I repeat, fall for it. I believe in you man, and this is coming from someone who is 7 years older than you. Make our generation proud and become a leader, not a follower to this Satan fueled addiction known as PMO. God bless you man, and good luck with your journey! Never give up!

 

Why did you access Satan's playground? You are not gay. You are over thinking it. Look up HOCD. You are not homosexual, my man. Relax. Stop experimenting on yourself and focus on your other goals, such as succeeding in school. Have you thought of going a week without any sort of technology? It would clear your mind up a lot and all those thoughts would go away. Your mind is just looking to get a new dopamine rush, since those gross things are exotic and sort of like a different style drug. Think of regular porn as marijuana. Lesbian and other genres would be like crack, cocaine, meth. They have stronger feelings associated with them compared to marijuana, which feels bland later on. You are not gay, you just need to get a good reboot. The earlier you start at this age, the better you'll succeed in life. Trust me man. Please don't look at that stuff ever again, and promise that to me.

 

Sounds like you will need to start building some serious willpower to complete your NoFap journey. You have to find it within yourself to dig deep and fight through your thoughts and moments of intense arousal.

Testing and tempting yourself is a 100% guaranteed way to fail. The endless libraries of porn will always be a click away for all of us, and those of us who succeed at NoFap are choosing to suffer instead of falling back into old habits. Trust me, we are all suffering greatly.

You're not alone nor are you special in the way you are feeling. You have to suffer through your thoughts and urges without turning to porn or PMO. I tell my friends and some people on NoFap that when the urges do get too intense and you just have to turn to porn, try watching (non-sexual) ASMR instead on YouTube. There have been many times where I was in your situation and just thought to myself, "Man, I just need to shutoff my brain immediately." I would then watch ASMR until my brain calmed down or I would eventually fall asleep.

Please end the gay panic and let your brain sort out those thoughts the natural way. Remember that love and sex are two separate things. Instead of putting your focus on your more carnal thoughts, learn about love and what it really means to love a woman. This is where your parents should come into the picture. Talk to them. Study how to love and then analyze yourself after.