I'm new to this website but not new to the challenge. I've tried and failed a number of times. I'm in a long term relationship and interested to know people's thoughts about telling my partner. The consensus seems to be an overwhelming yes to telling, but surely it all depends on the context? For example, the most destructive part of my addiction is to cam girls. I use a lot of my personal surplus funds, never joint funds! I never jeopardise our ability as a couple to pay our mortgage and bills. I earn far more than I need, meaning that we can still afford to go on very nice vacations etc. I only resort to cam sites when alone (my girlfriend works late a lot, but that's not her fault, it is a symptom of her chosen career). The result of this is that she knows nothing about my addiction and, if she did, it would ruin a great relationship we have. For me, giving up before I hit rock bottom and lose her is my greatest motivation for getting better. She is always very stressed in her job and often mentions that she doesn't know what she would do without me. Neither of us want to find out. I attempted to tell her once before in a round about way ("my friend") and she was repulsed. Russell Brand's book on addiction advocates honesty as long as that honesty wouldn't do more harm than good. I think, in my case, honesty would be the most harmful thing. It would result in my partner losing, or at least forever changing, in her words, "her rock" and it would leave me without my strongest possible motivation for getting better - getting better for her! Although some might think it is, this isn't a question of cowardice. If I thought it would do more good than harm, then I would say. I've very carefully weighed up the pros and cons.