Hopeless in Seattle; No Porn Intended

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Deleted Account, Jun 29, 2018.

  1. Flapjack here. I had no idea a group like this existed. Guys actually trying to abstain from porn? Who knew? And recovery? I figured I had watched so much porn over the years that I permanently ruined my mind and body. Also, this is my first time on a forum. Hopefully I can figure out how this all works and come to realize there can be hope!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2018
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  2. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to NoFap. There are multiple reasons why us fapstronauts decide to abstain. For me personally, I'm very religious, so I choose to abstain from PMO in order to get sin out of my life and to live a life of purity. Not everyone here is religious, though.

    You may have polluted your mind with pornographic images, but those images can be fought and brought into submission. I used to be addicted to pornography and I've still got memories of what I saw. Those memories are very strong.
     
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  3. Thank you for the welcome. I look forward to hearing about how others have successfully overcome the addiction to porn. Maybe one day I'll know what it feels like to have a clean mind again.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2018
  4. Nadamotain

    Nadamotain Fapstronaut

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    Staying connected to this group and site will help change your life. Doesn't matter who you are or what you want for your happiness it all starts with a desire to be someone different. Stay positive and be kind to yourself. Day by day things will get easier.
     
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  5. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    I'm from Washington State also I just made a hundred days and would like to let you know that you will have gained so much more than you lose through a process here that it's amazing. I'm doing a hardmode pmo with my wife of 33 years. That means no sex hand holding only hugs light kisses no porn no masturbation limited nudity I have been completely successful the 100 days so far you can't put a number on it that's the deal that you need to understand I tried to so when God decides and my wife chooses we shall become sexual again
     
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  6. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain after physical injury. Plus it is generally a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body.

    You gotta make sure it is proper mindfulness meditation though. "Mindfulness" meditation where we just focus on breath is more like a concentration meditation instead. It works too but differently and not as powerfully in my experience. Real mindfulness meditation however trains you to accept your urges by understanding the nature of them by observing them, not just suppress them by concentrating on something else instead. It makes you comfortable with them. And once you accept and become comfortable with them there is no need to get rid of them, so there is no need to PMO. Only reason why we PMO is because that urge, that itch in our crotch is uncomfortable, we wanna get rid of it. And then after PMO we have our release. Or we simply want pleasure. And inability to have that pleasure makes us uncomfortable. But if we accept that we can not have pleasure then resistance is gone and there is no reason to PMO.

    Acceptance and mindfulness is the key. Check out this Ted talk on acceptance and mindfulness practice, it gives a good idea of what's it's about when it comes to philosophy. The mindfulness practice as described by psychologist in a the video can be used by itself but ideally should be used as supplementation to your daily sitting meditation. Sitting meditation I personally practice and recommend to people is as explained by meditation expert in this YouTube playlist. If you don't like the monk or want other method there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
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  7. Thanks for the advice. I'll look into this. I've often thought about investigating meditation and its benefits.
     
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  8. Nadamotain

    Nadamotain Fapstronaut

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    Thank you Foxislander. Very close to the scenario with my wife. We are looking at the spiritual aspect of the abstinence. I have been doing more stuff and having more fun. I just wanted to not feel shame and guilt anymore. Now I'm getting Christmas morning!
     

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