Horrible Intrusive Disgusting Thoughts...

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Throwaway133337, Oct 15, 2019.

  1. Throwaway133337

    Throwaway133337 New Fapstronaut

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    Ever since about 1 or 2 months in I started thinking about gay thoughts. I have been straight my whole life, and I DO NOT WANT TO BE GAY! Now I just hit day 90, I have been feeling great, but for some reason my brain is not sure of my sexuality. So I have been having depressed feelings because I want to stay straight forever. I also have a long distance relationship with a girlfriend. How do I get rid of these horrible thoughts of turning gay? (The term is HOCD)
     
    strength54 likes this.
  2. Throwaway133337

    Throwaway133337 New Fapstronaut

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    I also can’t interact with any men because I always ask myself “does he attract me?”
     
  3. Esalawaa

    Esalawaa Fapstronaut

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    Yeah men I know what you mean and I don’t think you’re gay . It’s just you still looking for more and a more intensive experience . Now is gay sex and then will be something worst, be careful
     
    theotherone209 likes this.
  4. I understand. When i was heavy in porn, i got the point where i was watching alot of stuff that was starting to get into the gay realm. Eventually it made me want to try some of those things IRL. Luckily i got a grip on it amd stopped PMO before i got deeper into it. Ive never even considered stuff with guys until the past few years and i blame it on my porn progression.
    Im not gay and i dont think you are either
     
  5. Throwaway133337

    Throwaway133337 New Fapstronaut

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    But I’ve never considered to even watch gay porn, yet my mind keeps thinking about gross thoughts such as those. How can I get rid of these?
     
  6. Throwaway133337

    Throwaway133337 New Fapstronaut

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    I’ve never even considered to try it, or even watch gay porn online. I’m not sure why my brain is thinking about these gross things
     
  7. Maybe its the lack of P. Maybe your brain is giving you erotic taboo thoughts to replace the stimulation from P.
     
  8. theotherone209

    theotherone209 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, thank you. I was experiencing same things as these other guys. But I really don't think I'm gay - would anything get to the point where it was a REALISTIC discussion about hooking up with a guy, it was a total turn off just like the rest of my life. But in the online, solo, porn world it kept going. I think you're right, it was just the next thing I could find which was INTENSE. Porn progression, indeed.
     
    strength54 likes this.
  9. pafon55

    pafon55 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys. I know exactly what you're going through and I can tell you that if you think about it for too long you will only dig yourselves deeper into the hole. I'll give y'all some tips that helped me almost completely defeat these thoughts and bring myself back into good metal state. First of all - if you're thinking these thoughts cause of gay/trans/trap porn - this means nothing. I am willing to assume that you've never watched those types of porn for the men in there or i am willing to assume that you've gone your whole life without noticing men's appearance. Just food for thought. Second just reduce or remove porn from your life, see what happens. Third - meditation. Every time you feel an HOCD attack do a meditation, if you feel like that'd be too much do the following. Every time you feel an HOCD attack (btw this works for everyday life as well. It works for anxiety in general) just focus on your feet. Start thinking about how you feel your feet at that exact moment and then start thinking about how you feel other parts of your body. The entire process shouldn't last too long and at one point you'll come back to reality. Fourth if you find a dude good looking, chances are that the dude is good looking. Good looking men exist just like a statue or a painting can be good looking it's not gay to think that. Fifth - it's a thing I call - desexualize your life. Stop thinking about sex so much. It will only get you deeper into the loop of panic. Sixth understand that HOCD is an anxiety disorder (take it from me as a person with OCD). OCD and HOCD is a type of OCD works on your doubt mechanism in your brain. YOU CANNOT FIGHT HEAD ON AGAINST IT, IT WILL ALWAYS WIN. The more you argue with the thoughts inside your head, the more power you grant them. Accept your thoughts as a part of your life. You've always had nasty thoughts so why should these now control your mind ? I understand that the idea that one day a part of your life that you had considered solid and a part of your identity is now put to question, but in reality it actually isn't, it's just that now you've seen an issue and a nasty thought made it's way inside your brain and drew your attention. Ignore it. Every time you have a "gay" thought just say "ok" "what ever". At one point you'll learn just to completely ignore them and go about your day. Another thing you can do is just start telling yourself that you're gay/bi. Try it. Just every time you get one of these thoughts just tell yourself "yep, i'm gay/ yep i'm bi" When that starts feeling just kinda wrong and misplaced it will definitely make you wonder why you ever thought you've suddenly got THE GAY ! Another advice is about the attraction. Next time you see a dude that you're wondering if you're attracted to. Take a good look at the man. Just observe him. Chances are you'll realize that you're feeling no attraction towards him even if he's good looking. Now on the question of attraction to genitalia. This is remedied only through abstinence from porn. We've watched so much dicks being sucked and fucked and god knows what else done with or to them that to wonder how "all of the sudden" we feel attracted to it is kinda funny. But just realize that you have turned to the gay all of the sudden, everything is completely fine, but right now it's like trying to listen to a song with broken headphones that are barely making contact with your phone. Get your head straight (ha, get it) CALM THE FUCK DOWN which is the most important part and you'll find yourself. Best of luck my brothers I wish you all the best !
     
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  10. Enwar

    Enwar Fapstronaut

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    Any porn with a male in it causes your brain to associate sexual arousal with men over time. It may just pop up. Keep that in mind. Porn is a highly destructive force. Use this as encouragement to stay away from porn.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2019
    strength54 likes this.
  11. KarmaWeaver

    KarmaWeaver Fapstronaut

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    These things are known to happen. To get rid of those thoughts you have to reboot, abstain from porn and masturbation. They will fade over time.
    Meditation was recommended here, it is very helpful indeed! Know how your mind works and get to know it's natural state: calm, aware. Thoughts are just thoughts, you decide if you want to hold on to them.
     
    strength54 likes this.
  12. vocalfry

    vocalfry Fapstronaut

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    Rather than thoughts, per se, perhaps consider them as 'thought forms', formations made of thought that are activated when your dopamine systems are activated to seek out stimulus to cause release. It's your maladapted dopamine system forming thoughts to steer you, which thanks to porn and perhaps other things, has for some reason come to fixate itself there.
     
    strength54 likes this.

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