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Hot female friend knows all my secrets . . .

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by +TenPercent, Sep 15, 2021.

  1. So, I have a VERY attractive female friend (beautiful face, body and personality) who is 10+ years younger than me and we've been friends for 10+ years . . . and yes, I would say that she has friendzoned me :) (that dopey smile seems appropriate)

    This woman really seems to enjoy the fact that she has many male friends who she knows are "in love" with her and is happy to keep them on the hook. Sometimes I wonder how she can manage having so many friends in her life, but I would still consider her to be one of my best friends.

    We've often talked about dating ups and downs and a few years ago I confessed to her that I have a small penis and
    that I wear panties (which I have since given up, mostly) and that I have very strong cuckold fantasies . . . to the point that I spent years searching for a partner with that specific fantasy in mind

    She laughed a little, but didn't seem too surprised and we've stayed very close friends since. :)

    Here's the question: Do you think that she respects me less now that she knows that I have a small penis?

    In some ways I feel genuinely relieved that she knows my secrets. It's nice knowing that someone knows my worst secrets and still accepts me as a friend. :)

    However, I saw her recently and she came across as pretty bitchy and really full of herself. She was going on and on about how skilled and competent she is (she has been more successful in her career than me) and I felt really inadequate as my self-esteem isn't nearly so high. And then it hit me - I'm usually considerate and try not to brag or boast too much, but maybe she's not too worried about making me feel inadequate because she doesn't respect me as much as she used to - now that she knows that I have a small penis.

    Just curious if anyone, especially any women, has any insight on this. Do women automatically respect men less if they know that he has a small penis?

    I genuinely hate living with this secret and feel like it would haunt me less if it's out in the open . . . yet I always end up keeping it a secret out of fear that people, especially women, would respect me less if they knew that I have a small penis.
  2. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    1. Are you considering asking this woman out? This is in the dating section. It seems she's already friendzoned you, which brings up the question...

    2. Why are you still friends with this woman if she friendzoned you? A friendship is an equal relationship where you enjoy each other's company and shared activities. A relationship where someone has been friendzoned is not so, and is damaging to either one of you over time. This isn't to say that people who friendzone or people that have been friendzoned are unworthy of friendship, but if someone is in the friendzone then you need to take the initiative and end the relationship for the time being. At least one of you needs time to get over your feelings and expectations for the relationship, so you should give her space for a while.

    3. Why do you consider her a good friend fo yours? Do you share experiences and struggles? Can you rely on each other? Would you invite each other to your own wedding? What makes your friendship?

    4. Do you think your desires to wear woman's clothing, be involved in cuckolding, and fixate on your small penis during sexual activities positively contribute to your life? Do you think they arose at all from porn abuse or some type of traumatic experiences? Do you see these desires get in the way of your sexual/romantic life, as well as your life in general? Are these sexual fantasies and fixations adding or subtracting from your enjoyment and fulfillment?

    5. Many users have seen common occurrences of you bringing up your most embarrassing and humiliating experiences and asking others to comment on them. This is not common amongst other users. Many people often share their negative experiences, but ask for guidance or show how they overcame their issues. You seem to talk about your issues without talking about improving or understanding anything about yourself. Do you think what you've asked in this thread will aid your recovery from porn addiction?
  3. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

    I know I've already told you this, but your size is close to average. Not small as you'd think of it.
    I think she is more worried about your cuckold fantasies, she must see you as a creepy pervert. It's not your size you should concentrate on in order to understand her thoughts, because it's highly probable that your desire to see other men sleeping with your partner is what disturbs her.
  4. Talz

    Talz Fapstronaut

    When a girl starts to disrespect you... Just get rid of her, trust me. It will probably just get worse. It's probably less about the small penis thing, and more about the other stuff.
  5. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

    You can't blame her though. Cuckold is seen as a sexual problematic behavior by many.
    +TenPercent and modernstore99 like this.
  6. Talz

    Talz Fapstronaut

    I would never want that as a guy, but I guess some do...

    The main point though is that she's disrespecting him. If he's okay with that whatever, but if he wants to improve his life he shouldn't be around girls like that, especially if he likes her. Ever guy needs to learn the art of canning a girl.
  7. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

    He still didn't clarify how exactly this disrespect is tangible. It might all be an impression from his mind, who knows ? It happens quite a lot when something is troubling you, and give a huge importance to it. You become almost paranoid about it, and think people belittle you because of it. It is ,of course, all due to fear and insecurity.
    Roady and +TenPercent like this.
  8. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I agree that if you ask someone to be romantic and they say no, it's best to end the relationship there. Neither of you will get what you want from the relationship. It sucks but it's best for everyone. Let go of her for at least a year @+TenPercent
    +TenPercent likes this.
  9. MikeBR

    MikeBR Fapstronaut

    I’d agree with she-dernatinus that’s it’s probably more about the cuckold stuff than the small penis stuff.

    I consider myself small, but many women have commented on it being average. I legitimately don’t think they have had any issues with my size because they would have mentioned it after some nasty breakups.

    That being said, some people are just vengeful and narcissistic and could make you feel worse just so they felt better.
    Marshall 5 and +TenPercent like this.
  10. Thank you all for the helpful responses! :)

    I guess the underlying conundrum is that I have often felt a strong desire to let people know that I have a small penis. Maybe just to be less alone with it? Or maybe I’m looking for attention? Or validation? Lots of people have small nose, small hands, small feet, small ears, small boobs, and the whole world knows - but labia and penis size tend to be super secret. As some of you know, I have had women reject me as a lover or partner because of my size. So why not get it out there in the beginning rather than dating someone for weeks or even months before Surprise! We are on the verge of having sexual intercourse and you’ve just now seen what I have on offer down there. :rolleyes:
    I’ve had encounters which seemed to take a turn there. One girl I dated promptly pushed my head down between her legs and another had me use sex toys on her

    On the flip side of this desire to “out myself” is a genuine fear that people will respect me less if they know that I have a small penis. :oops:
  11. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

    If you knew the answer to your question, what would you do with the info?
    +TenPercent likes this.
  12. Good point. Many women will (and have) run away screaming in response to the cuckold fantasy. :eek:

    However, my friend was pretty cool with it. She’s extremely outgoing and struggles with monogamy sometimes.
    I have definitely wondered at times if, and even some of my friends have suggested that, we’d be a good couple.
    We have been really good friends for years, though we’ve been living in different parts of the country for the last 8 years. Recently, she altered her travel plans (slightly) to make time to visit with me :)

    So, she certainly never rejected me as a friend. But it’s possible to live someone as a friend or family and not have much respect for them. I just wonder if, on some level, she has less respect for me because I have a small penis.
  13. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

    You are thinking too much about this. You sound like you are still fantasizing about a relationship.

    Who cares if she respects you less on some level? She altered travel plans to see you. She values you as a friend and let that be enough.
    E31 and +TenPercent like this.
  14. Isn’t that the million dollar question?

    I suspect that people will respect me less so I live my life keeping it a secret. :(
    I hide my body from others. I make sure that nobody sees in the locker room at work (or in the restroom). :(

    I will gladly wear pants or underwear that make it look like I’ve got more of a package than I do. :cool:

    But I am super self-conscious any time that the “bulge” gives any indication of how small it is. :eek:

    So, if the answer is yes (no respect for little dicks) then I will continue to hide my body and live with the body shame.

    if the answer is no - I will be free!:)

    If there is no “answer”, then I will likely live with my body shame and live with the nagging uncertainty of not knowing.
  15. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

    The answer is it varies from woman to woman and person to person. The only way to know the answer to your question is to ask her. But I still would argue that it’s not worth it. Stop thinking about this. Try to live your life accepting yourself and surrounding yourself by people that accept you.
    Talz and +TenPercent like this.
  16. Red flag here.
    It seems she is collecting trophies. You are just a trophy in her collection.
    Outer beauty can be a perfect way to get attention. But after all, that's just hér addiction.

    I think you should ask yourself total different questions.
    The main question here is: Do YOU respect yourself as a man now that you know that you (think you) have a small penis?

    You certainly show some false dependency here.
    Does YOUR value really depends on what SHE things about you?
    Does your value really depends on the size of your dick?
    Come on man! You definitely need to do some homework.

    Personally I don't think if your dick size matters here.
    People always seek for equal companion.
    It seems she gets over you for some reason and put herself on a place above you.
    Her fault (what rises up must come down one day).

    My advice to you is to create some serious space between you and her.
    You will see, when her "period of confidence" has fade away, she will know how to find you again.
    She's a player.
    Put on some good shoes and run away from her.

    You are confused in your way of thinking.
    You keep on talking about your dick size.
    Find the real problem that's beneath that and your life will be a lot easier.
    Dick size is not important. It's there for reproduction. Nothing more.
    The rest is in your head.
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2021
  17. I agree with others who have said you don’t have it that bad. There are many men out there who are leading normal sex lives with your dimensions. They have accepted themselves unapologetically and improved their bedroom skills from all angles. And that’s a pretty sexy attitude in itself.

    Perhaps the issue is not the size itself. It’s that you are attached to this cycle of discussing it, perhaps even finding the shame and feedback to be rewarding in some ways. Maybe that is what you need to work on. I offer this in a helpful spirit - don’t mean to be dismissive of you. Good luck in any case!
    +TenPercent and ANewFocus like this.

  18. Man, everybody here has given AAA excellent answers. The only thing I would add is that she enjoys men that give her attention and want her attention. They may not necessarily be ***, but rather men who are waiting for her to be single and do the dirty with her. Respect, dude, she respects no one, deep down. If you have many puppies waiting for you to feed them and all you are doing is dangling the meat in front of them, you don't respect a single one. She might just look down on all men, wait until she finds a man that looks down on her. Focus on yourself, your happiness, your career, and eventually you will outdo yourself. If there is something people like her hate, it's to see others getting closer and pulling ahead. Give yourself the glowup of the century and focus on finding a woman with good character.
  19. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

    You are acting totally weak and submisive. Of course she doesn't respect you as a man. You are just one more of his beta orbiters that like her and will do anything for her in hopes she give them a chance. There are plenty of woman that love to have all this beta orbiters while they date the alphas. They will use the beta orbiters for attention and validation and will date the alphas.

    She just want you as a friend, for your attention and validation. She doesn't care about your penis.. she is not going to use it anyways.

    She does this because you let her to do it. She knows you are weak and wouldn't stand up to her like any other beta orbiter she have. Woman only behave this way with man they don't respect. She know that if she behaves like this with a masculine guy, the guy is going to put her in her place, and guess what? woman love a man that can put her in her place when the situation ask for it.

    But you still put up with it, you don't want to loose her precious friendship.. and of course she take advantage of it.

    Never ever let a woman put you in the friendzone. If you like her, ask her out. If she is not happy to date you, move on. Been friends in not and option. Only have female friend if you are not attracted to them.
    Talz and +TenPercent like this.
  20. What’s wrong with all that?
    There’s a reason why we’ve been friends for so long ;)

    But, @p1n1983 - it’s amazing how well you’ve described her based on the limited description I provided. It’s like you know her! :D

    Only thing is, I don’t know if she really wants an alpha man to dominate her, or if she would respond well to that. I’ve met a few of her boyfriends and they haven’t all been that alpha. Perhaps she’s more of the alpha herself …

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