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Hot female friend knows all my secrets . . .

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by +TenPercent, Sep 15, 2021.

  1. What happened with your girlfriend? Is she gone?

    It sounds to me you are trying to live some porn fueled fantasy with this friend were you imagine her looking down on you and dominating you. Telling people in real life, who you are not romantically involved with, that you have a small penis is TMI in my opinion.

    You sound obsessed with people knowing you have a small penis and I think you need to overcome this if you want to get better. You have went a long time without P and MO, well done, but maybe your brain is trying to sabotage you here. By making real life the porn. You need to resist this in my opinion and keep going. You could be setting yourself back here, keeping the neural pathways open with fantasies.

    I think you should take a break from this friend as it does not help your recovery.
  2. p1n nailed it. She's the type of broad who wants an alpha in the bedroom where she can get all submissive (which is an interesting and recurring phenomenon of aggressive women who are calling guys daddy in the bedroom). As soon as the bedroom crap is over, she goes back to being aggressive and uncooperative. Regardless of the alpha/beta nomenclature, which is borderline astrology for men, says "I don't agree with you". Aggressive mode comes out and she chases them away. Let her go, and ditch her. Her type is too damn predictable. In her 30s, she's somewhat desirable. In her 40s, she regresses to cougar and easy sex. After that, she's done, especially if she at some point wanted a family or a long standing relationship.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 19, 2021
    Freedom_from_PMO and +TenPercent like this.
  3. she-dernatinus

    she-dernatinus Fapstronaut

    This beta/alpha segregation is hardly useful. I think she is ego-centrist, and it explains why she craves attentions like this. Also, explaining the world based on alphas or betas is no better than seeing things in black and white. I personally think, if she doesn't value any kind of male companionship, she hardly cares about any typical 'alpha' characteristics men might view as ideal. She just uses male company as a form of entertainment, regardless of the men's personalities.

    She views all men with the same regards, and if any guy tries to 'put her into her place'. The only reason she might date him is to find a weak spot in his psyche, to later take her revenge on him. She is absolutely not subjugated by his supposed 'alpha' superpowers, she is revising her strategy. But be sure she will never view him as anything more than a highly entertaining, and maybe difficult target. Even if in the end, she will get bored with him too, this so-called 'alpha'.
  4. jcl1990

    jcl1990 Fapstronaut

    I’d recommend trying to ask her out directly. Or actually ask if she wants to hook up for fun. Go full into it and try to hook up with her. As long as you don’t need her for any sort of financial reasons, go for the hookup. If she rejects you, then cut contact and tell her you want to be more than friends.

    As far as the small penis issue, you must become the best at going down on a girl, that is your new talent. Also, your fingers and your willingness to use a vibrator on a woman. You can still have regular sex after she has orgasms so you can experience some pleasure yourself, too.

    As far as the cross dressing you are doing, cut it out completely. Throw away or burn any women’s clothing you have in the house that you wear.

    Following the above recommendations will provide you with a solid baseline to build up your confidence.
    ANewFocus and +TenPercent like this.
  5. StayStrongforawhile

    StayStrongforawhile Fapstronaut

    Hi friend
    Your worried
    Don't focus on if you have a small penis. But rather to think about how to pressure woman in bed (sex does matter to you).
    foreplay and massager are things that you can give those a try.
    In term of variety, have you ever tried, using mouth? fingers? toys?
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2021
    +TenPercent likes this.

  6. I am going to say I have a friend that doesn’t and everyone knows. But does it deplete your confidence level about Woman? Language of Woman.

    I would be careful with her since she has so many guy friends to keep her self esteem in checkmate. I knew a gal like this and she would tell guys stuff, but in my fault I didn’t tell her much to keep it a secret. I honestly don’t understand woman like this that need to have so many guy friends. The fact she friend zoned you is legitimate for age differences. But the fact you have been friends for 10 + years is amazing, maybe one day she’ll knock you out of the park. ;)

    But all in all Size should not matter, a man could have a small size but have the testosterone rate of a horse.

    A good question is , Do woman like it big and last short, or small one that lasts long.
    +TenPercent likes this.
  7. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

    her actions tell me all that things. Female nature is just female nature.
    Alpha males don't dominate people. They just let people be submisive to them or follow their lidership if they want to. Femenine woman love alpha guys, when they found one they are totally submisive to him willingly.

    2 posivilities.. Either she is an alpha female, then no alpha guy is going to be attracted to her, alpha guys love femenine woman, alpha womans is like dating another guy. So she date beta guys because is the only guys that she can attract, alphas are just going to have sex with her and move on.
    Second posivility, she is femenine but she only dated weak beta guys and is sourronded with beta orbiters. When a woman feel that his man is weak and in his femenine, she si forced to take a more masculine role and that is not his natural state so woman hate to be in that place.

    Example.. my girlfriend is totally an alpha female in his work. She figths like a lion there, stand his ground and is very succesfull.. but with me is totally submisive like the most docil cat in town. She trust my masculine core, and trust that I can lead the relationship, so she is willingly submisive to me and love it.
    That because I'm mostly alpha this dates.. back a decade ago wasn't and my girlfriends behavior were totally different. It's amazing how different the behaviour of a woman can be when they spend time with alphas and betas.
    +TenPercent likes this.
  8. Nope. :)

    Good advice. It's easy to go off the rails with fantasy and fixating on other women. I don't think that having a girlfriend means cutting all ties with all females or that male/female attraction is suddenly of zero consideration, half the people that I encounter or work with are female and sexual attraction / interest still occurs, despite our "unavailable" status.
    The question is - how much energy do I put into this. Energy is limited and could best be directed towards other activities.

    Always good advice. :)

    Good question, but as it happens, I struggle with PE, too. Maybe sex isn't my strong suit, but I can focus on being caring, helpful, loving and overall being a good boyfriend. :)
    TrueSaiyan2.0 likes this.
  9. Keep at it and she'll realize your worth, a strong friendship can go places. She may want some one more her age which is understanding. Just keep it and treasure it. I ditched one that maybe I shouldn't of.. But I felt there was no use for me.
    +TenPercent likes this.
  10. Amen, brother!
    This woman has been one of my best friends for so many years. Why should I ditch her (or try to dominate her) just because she super hot and isn’t having sex with me?
    TrueSaiyan2.0 and she-dernatinus like this.
  11. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    Okay I would recommend you take a break from your friend, work on yourself, then reconcile later when you're in a better place. Decide then if you want to remain friend, ask her out once and for all, or go in a different direction.

    You're both exhibiting low quality behaviour.

    She may be 10/10 looks and a nice enough personality, but keeping several guys as friends when they've demonstrated they're interested in more is narcissistic behaviour.

    You thinking your tool size defines you is also narcissistic. You think it makes you a victim, or less than some chad. When in fact, the girls that make an issue of size (and yes, many do) are also narcissistic.

    There are plenty of women out there who don't want a giant tool. There's also several ways to get women off without using it or any toys either.

    And there are plenty of women who, uncomfortable as it may be, would rather reject you than let you suffer in silence while she pretends she doesn't know you're interested in more.

    Look, I've had similar relationships. I used to drive the hottest girl in high school home every second day and let her ear fuck me about her boyfriend issues. There were others too, but that was the pinnacle for me.

    If you want something different, tell her you're too busy to hang out, and work on fixing whatever you want to fix in your life.

    After that, you'll either be a better proposition for her, you'll be over her, or you'll find a few new girls you like.

    You can be friends with a hot girl, so long as you're not pining for her. Just get to that stable place and then decide. That would be my advice.

    Sorry is some of that came off harsh, I just wish someone gave me a pep talk myself a few years ago! :)
  12. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

    Because you’re obsessed with her. You need to pursue other relationships and move on.
  13. I don't get this thread and some of the advice here egging you on. You have a girlfriend. Are you having problems with her? Are you breaking up with her or something?

    But you are fixating on this other woman. How would your girlfriend feel if she knew about all this energy you are putting into this "hot female friend"?

    I am not saying we should cut out female friends when we are unavailable, but you need to be honest with yourself here. Why is this friendship so important to you? Because she is hot? She doesn't sound like she has anything else going for her based on what you have posted.

    I think you are just using her to get off on her knowing embarrassing stuff about you and hope that she participates in one of your fetishes. You need to take a step back and re-evaluate what is actually happening here.
    modernstore99 and Dares Greeneye like this.
  14. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I agree. I think @+TenPercent is aroused by people knowing about his crossdressing, subjectively small penis, and other sexual insecurities. This is why he tells his partners very early in the relationship, prefers to not have sex, and even "outs" himself on NoFap. It's very obvious to me. I definitely think they need to stop.
    The Passenger likes this.

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