What happened with your girlfriend? Is she gone? It sounds to me you are trying to live some porn fueled fantasy with this friend were you imagine her looking down on you and dominating you. Telling people in real life, who you are not romantically involved with, that you have a small penis is TMI in my opinion. You sound obsessed with people knowing you have a small penis and I think you need to overcome this if you want to get better. You have went a long time without P and MO, well done, but maybe your brain is trying to sabotage you here. By making real life the porn. You need to resist this in my opinion and keep going. You could be setting yourself back here, keeping the neural pathways open with fantasies. I think you should take a break from this friend as it does not help your recovery.