How are you feeling RIGHT NOW?

Hey man I've been to a couple rehabs and spent 9 months at one. It does feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel but you just have to keep fighting. As long as you can hold onto the willingness to change and get better, you still have hope. My life is 10000x better than its ever been but if I had given into the drug cravings, depression, and suicidal thoughts I would never have made it to this point. I've also had hallucinations and felt like I had literally lost my grip on reality from my past LSD use. Hang in there man. Love you brother!

 

Sure go ahead. At this time I'll take any advice thats free.

 

Honestly, feeling very lonely. My outlet for release (PMO) was elimated so now it's a constant battle to fight against triggers, but I can't help but notice pretty women in pictures and in the real world and it's a tough battle. I'm holding on, but damn it's tough.

 

After a long grueling day and several people being extremely rude and hostile, I feel sad, angry and very lonely at the moment. As far as my professional life, things are pretty good but I have nearly no social life due to many different faults of my own and I'm paying the price today, or at least paying that price consciously for a change. As far as the NoFap is concerned, things are pretty good although I have had some urges, nothing overpowering. But I have been lethargic, depressed and only semi interested in the things I do with the exception of dance classes and exercise. Beyond that, I still have a ways to go to get back to a place where I feel fulfilled.

 

To day i had no energy. I left work and told them i am sick whicj i sure am.
I wait until everything gets better

 

I feel unsure of what I'm doing. I was 10 days off PMO before I relapsed; Now I feel like I'm not my self in every moment. I feel so stupid that I can't be what I am. It feels terrible. But I'm trying to satisfy my dopamine addiction with music and stuff like this. I gotta keep the struggle going.

 

I feel tired and ready for bed. I have had a good day and not acted out.

 

I feel like I'm in the middle of the ocean. Is swimming all the way really worth it? Is life really worth it? Is anything worth it? What is the point of existing anyway? Just overall an existential crisis and questioning if it's all really worth it, or nothing more than a cruel, sick joke. I know I shouldn't, but at times, I resent my parents for giving me life then expecting me to bury them down the road, all cause they were too fuckin horny and free to do whatever, lucky bastards. Now, I am paying for their horny sex mistake, via my life. Yah thanks a lot. Keep it in your pants next time. Idk I'm not very happy lol

 

Bored and un-centered, I suppose.

 

Feeling somewhat good right now.But fighting urges is really hard.