Couples here on NoFap live out their life-through-recovery in so many different ways. Some separate quickly..some separate and then come back together (some don't come back together)..many stay together and go through all the up's and down's of a successful or unsuccessful recovery. For me and my situation, back in June 2017, we called it being "effectively separated"...but in reality, my wife wanted Real Seapartion (and real fast). We didn't get to the real separation fast. Actually, it's still a couple weeks away... but it is certainly coming. The point of this thread is to ask out loud how should PA handle the actual living out of separate lives, in the same house (or in separate homes). We've been doing an official in-house separation since February 2, 2018. But my wife's desire to be oh-so-SEPARATE from me .... it has made me -- just plain sad is the best way I can describe it. And I don't know how best to deal with that. How should a husband of 21 years react to his wife wanting truly nothing to do with him? Even the good, positive things of life that have nothing to do with the relationship or any tension between husband and wife, those things are not shared, those things are not enjoyed. How should a husband feel when his wife just doesn't care to tell him even good positive news? Do I have a specific thing in mind? Of course. Last night I saw my ten-year-old son holding a little thing. It looked like a square credit card or some weird business card type thing. And it turned out to be a really cool thing that my wife did last quarter in school, a couple months ago now. It was a collection of her portrait photography...turned into a fan like contraption that folds out. It was really, really cool. My son has seen it; my kids knew about it. But I knew nothing about it. I wasn't mad. I was just really sad, and maybe a little bit hurt.. My wife works on a cool little project for her master's degree. And I see her from time to time in her office, we talk about whatever is going on, sometimes about her school work. But this was obviously a project that took some time, and when it was completed and she ordered it and these things showed up, I never knew about it. What day was it when this arrived in the mail and she opened up the package and saw these amazing things--- no thought or desire to share something positive that she had accomplished with me? Living such separated lives. Not something I'm a huge fan of. But that is the reality of our relationship. And now..on the precipice of actually moving out / living separately -- already so very-much-separated-anyway....just lots to think about. .. So, to all the couples who are NOT working hard at the relationship--but rather are working hard at being separated so the betrayed spouse/partner can heal ... How does the PA best handle being so separate?