How can i deal with this SITUATION?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by mark andrews, Jan 25, 2022.

  1. mark andrews

    mark andrews Fapstronaut

    hullo guys... i am on the path of recovery. been for a while and i struggle with the occasional PIED. Recently i met a girl, thought she was nice, we talked, went out for a few days and then she came to my place and offered to have sex..... but it was my most embarassing day. I suffered ED, tried to get it up but would lose the erection after a few strokes....

    i had indulged in PMO for quite a while and it greatly affected me in the erection sense.
    but this girl made a complete total mess of it... she laughed in my face, i tried to switch positions to maybe get more arousal but she refused and when i tried to speak to her about it, she would chuckle abit then resort to her phone.

    now i know this may not be the best post to put on a reboot and recovery forum but i need advice.

    am trying to do better, go 30 to 45 days hard mode and also inprove my life away from PMO. but the thing is that i always see this girl around and what hurts and annoys me is that she is ever with her friends and they appear to be looking and laughing at me.

    This puts me so low and you know what next?, i usually relapse due to feeling bad and terrible about my self.

    how do i approach this...coz i dont know what to do. i have tried to cut the girl out of my life but i always do meet her and my failure to perform kills me.

    Advise guys... i cant keep throwing away streaks and effort coz i dont know how to deal with this one bad embarrassment
  2. I'm sorry that happened to you. She seems quite a piece of work. This reflects more on her than on you. She must feel insecure and took it personally that you had ED and her way of dealing with it is to be cruel towards you.

    My advice is to stay on the no PMO path. When meeting girls stay away from the ones that will offer you sex so soon. You need to find someone that you can be comfortable with before attempting sex again, and that takes more than a few days.

    Your confidence will improve over time and you will eventually put this all behind you as a minor blip on your road to recovery. If you are failing at the same point each time, then prepare for when the time comes by getting out of the house and doing something else. Limit/remove internet use and if you still can't help yourself, whatever you do, do not watch porn. Because then before you know it you will be spending loads of time PMOing and feel like crap again.

    Keep the head up. You have the power to get through this.
    Reborn66 likes this.
  3. mark andrews

    mark andrews Fapstronaut

    thanks.... i know many guys on here suffer from PIED and other complications but i can say it had never happened to me 'cause this was my first time... it all happened to quick, and after it did i soon realised that i didnt even know this girl that much. Just a few outings and that was it.
    I hope to put this aside and accept and move on from the embarassment like a man.... Really trying... i sometimes feel like a loser in all situations but like you said, the deal is to clear what takes the confidence and esteem out of life(PMO).
    The Passenger likes this.
  4. specofconsciousness

    specofconsciousness Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry that your paths crossed with this kind of person... Yes, you have underlying issues and she will NEVER understand. YOU are the one to make the change and strenghten yourself. I hope this is the last time you have such a bad experience. I've suffered from ED and it wrecked me and my girlfriend. Partners tend to take it personally as if they were the fault. Good luck man.
    The Passenger and mark andrews like this.
  5. mark andrews

    mark andrews Fapstronaut

    thanks man
    specofconsciousness likes this.
  6. janewhite

    janewhite Fapstronaut

    Just sounds like she is a horrible person. Just ignore and they will lose interest. These type of “ bullies” love attention. Don’t give it to her. She sounds like immature selfish *****, honestly. As a woman if I were to hear something like that from another woman I wouldn’t laugh I would think how disgusting of a person and a human being she is. Honestly,I can’t advise since I am not a man but i think if you having issues like that it is better to develop a relationship , perhaps even a few month of purely sexless, first than having a one night stand with basically a stranger. I don’t know what people do these days… but my husband was my acquaintance for like 2 years first, then friend for a year, then in a romantic relationship without sex but with kisses and cuddles for a few months, and only then sex. We were adults. Still… i think it all went too fast sometimes…I am sure my husband wanted to move quicker… but I have a traditional /conservative side to me that causes me to take sex seriously despite being a liberal and not religious. I can’t imagine how people actually have sex with people they barely know since it is so intimate. I would say choose more wisely next time.
  7. mark andrews

    mark andrews Fapstronaut

    Thanks alot.... Ignoring people is something that i am having to do alot these days. Yeah i made a mistake.... didnt even initiate it(the need for sex)....she just showed up and wanted to give it...... i knew it was awkward having known her for a short while but i thought i could just try....

    Will do better next time, look for healthier and stronger relationships with someone who could understand me incase things weren't going the way they're supposed to
    The Passenger likes this.
  8. Coub

    Coub Fapstronaut

    Well, this is not an easy situation in my opinion. People say to ignore reputation and what people think about you but this is not easy, especially if that's about so embarassing thing like admitting to PMO and if she spread the word further... You trusted wrong person, sadly. You have to eat it. Nothing you can do to repair it. You've made a mistake and you have to pay for it. I would consider consultation with psychologist if things will get worse.
    I know how it feels to be down because of such situation like laughing at you. Horrible moments. If you want to fight PIED/PMO, that's your weakness which you've identified what is already something. It's not going to be easy path(never is tho) if she(they) are still around. You have to learn on mistakes(relapses). Otherwise it's likely that your period will end sooner or later.
    EDIT: additional thought came in the meantime. Don't let this be traumatic experience. I've had troubles at middle school too(more in my journalist) and it let to be even deeper in addiction. Don't let this overwhelm you.
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2022
    mark andrews likes this.

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